Will Wonders Ever Cease?

Robdar

Well, I picked myself up off the floor to relate this one to the forum.

My son, just came in and told me that I was right about everything that I ever told him. All the times I put my foot down and would not allow him to do something, (one time I even stole his car) I was correct. He thanked me for looking out for him. Needless to say, I about fainted when I heard him say that.

Heh, I can remember thinking what a perfect child he was when he was little. And he was perfect, too. Looking at his plump little cheeks and big blue eyes, I never thought that he would sass me and back talk me and put me through the hell that he put me through when he got older. But he did. I am glad that he and I survived his teenage years with our love intact.

I hope this story inspires other parents. Put your foot down and don't let your children walk on you. Realize that they will out grow the rebellious teenage years. Yes, you can get through it. And one day they may even thank you. I wish you luck. You are going to need it.

Love,

Robyn

Edited by - robdar on 26 January 2003 20:26:17

Makena1

Robyn - thanks for posting your experience with your son. What a heartwarming story - VERY happy for you!

Ours is 16, is basically a good kid, but can also be the biggest pain in the a@# and a huge source of worry and disappointment. When does common sense kick in?

Hope springs eternal in his parents hearts, but at times we really wonder.

Thanks again for the positive viewpoint.

Warm regards,
Mak

Edited by - Makena1 on 26 January 2003 22:50:37

jgnat

My kids are in their twenties now, and those "I think my heart will burst with pride" moments come more often now. Like when my daughter casually agreed with an acquaintance that her mom did a good job raising her.

Or laughing at me when I get on a rant about Martha Stewart's lack of creativity. "I know, mom. I was raised with creativity."

Oooh, I think my heart will burst with pride.

safe4kids

Hey Robyn

Thanks for sharing that; it really struck home. My son was a cherubic blond haired, blue eyed baby too but now he's turned into a puberty-struck sassy 11 year old and some days I wonder whatever happened to my perfect child. Any advice you have on dealing with the mood swings would be much appreciated...it's that or kill him, so please hurry!

Dana

Robdar

Ours is 16, is basically a good kid, but can also be the biggest pain in the a@#

LOL, Mak. And can't they be creative when they want to be a pain? He sounds like a great kid. Thanks for posting.

Oooh, I think my heart will burst with pride

JG, I know exactly how you feel. Aren't children amazing? Thanks for your response.

now he's turned into a puberty-struck sassy 11 year old and some days I wonder whatever happened to my perfect child

Dana,

Thank you for posting. I am sorry to have to tell you this but, your troubles are just beginning. You have at least 9 more years to go through this and I feel for ya.

It is amazing how they can be so loving one minute and so snotty the next! The only way I found to deal with it was to say to myself (sometimes outloud): "this is nature's way....This too shall pass....My parents didn't kill me and I wont kill my kid" Hehe, this became my daily mantra.

I became concerned about mood swings and depression when I read that teenage boys are the highest risk for suicide. Because he is an artist I worried about depression and the artistic temperament. I made sure that I explained to him how the mood swings would be and that there could be times when he got depressed.

I told him that no matter how bad things seemed to be and no matter what dark thoughts went through his head, to always remember that he didn't want his life to end. He only wanted the situation that was depressing him to end. I advised him to be creative and clever when it came to solving the problems of life and to come to me at any time.

I think that my warning helped him. I like to think so anyway. We have a couple of families that we are close to lose their sons to suicide. We are still trying to cope with the grief.

Edited by - robdar on 26 January 2003 23:14:31

jgnat

Sorry, safe4kids, I have to agree with Robdar. An adventurous roller-coaster ride has just started. And nobody knows how it will turn out. Cross your fingers you instilled the important stuff already, and trust that will win out on the end.

The best advice I got during that time was from our youth pastor that described the life for a teen as being in a leaky sailboat, without a rudder, on stormy seas. Nothing is for certain. The future is a big unknown. The teen has NO IDEA which direction he is going. And there are mom and dad, at the stern of the boat, screaming at the top of their lungs, "We're all going to DIIIEEEE!"

His advice? Don't panic, and don't rock the boat.

How did I keep my sanity? I kept a nice garden. I took hot bubble baths and locked the door. On really awful days, I would mumble about how much easier plants were to raise than children. "With plants, all you have to do is water them, good soil, some sunshine, and they grow and bloom. Easy. Kids? Who can figure kids out. You can love them and feed them and nurture them, and you STILL don't know how they will turn out."

My kids hated it when I compare them to plants.

SheilaM

Robadar,

That is great it is a long road to get there I know. No one knows that has never had children the love,joy,pain and hurt that can be rolled into your feelings for your child.

I do believe though that it is God's plan that we do fight with them because if I didn't I don't think I could bear having them go. I know my son is really nasty now and gets nastier daily and since I KNOW him so well it is easier to deal with because he is very close to us and I think he is freaking about leaving in June. I think he knows he can't leave and hopes we hate him enough to MAKE him go.

My daughter last night was telling a Mom how much she appreciated us etc. and telling her that her 15 year old would grow out of her mean period. This from miss sassy who wouldn't talk to me for two years now she calls 20 times a day

wednesday

it's moments like that , that remind u of what being a parent is for. To love unconditionly another person, to guide and direct them.but more rewards are in store Robar, wait until your child has their own child. Being a parent/grandparent has been the most fulfilling thing for me.

Robdar

My kids hated it when I compare them to plants.

LMAO at JG

This from miss sassy who wouldn't talk to me for two years now she calls 20 times a day

Sheila, isn't it funny, the way it turns out sometimes? I am glad that she appreciates what you did for her. Thanks for posting.

wait until your child has their own child. Being a parent/grandparent has been the most fulfilling thing for me.

Wednesday, I can't wait! But, I think I may be waiting for a long time. I let him go to the KH too much when he was little. That has definitely affected his decision to have children. Thanks for posting.

Robyn

safe4kids

Robyn and Jgnat,

Thanks for the advice. There are days when I despair of my (and his!) survival but every so often I get a glimmer of the sweet natured child lurking in the snotty stranger. Today was one of those days. We spent it at the doctor's office, waiting to find out if my son had actually broken his toe or if the damage was less severe. Fortunately, it seems to be not a fracture, but an injury that will have him hobbling for a week or two. The really good news is that, away from his sister (his arch enemy/best friend lol) and his friends, he was sooo incredibly sweet and funny, he kept me entertained through the long hours that would otherwise have been horribly boring. The pubescent lad rarely showed through today. We talked, we laughed, we teased each other and I was sitting there the entire time thinking what a gift I was receiving.

Because of your post, Robyn, I talked to him about his mood swings (it wasn't the first time that we've discussed it but we were due for another) and how difficult life and emotions can sometimes be. I stressed to him how important he is to me and that no matter how hard and overwhelming things can sometimes seem, there is always light at the end of the tunnel if one is alive to see it. He knows that I am and always will be here for him and thank goodness he's used to me bringing up difficult and sometimes embarrassing subjects in our conversations, he didn't shut me out but really listened and talked to me. It was incredible. Best part of the day? Tonight, when he was going to bed, he TOLD me he wanted a hug (he always gets one but rarely if ever asks for it) and THEN whispered "I love you Mom" with the sweetest smile on his lips...the ghost of that cherubic little boy was hovering in his eyes and his smile. Today was a day I'll not soon forget My mother's heart melted with the love I have for this incredible person who I'm fortunate enough to call my son.

Thank you.

Dana

Will Wonders Ever Cease?

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