Everybody sing George W's song!!

by starfish422 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • starfish422
    starfish422

    Sing to the tune of:

    "if your happy and you know it clap your hands"

    If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
    If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
    If the terrorists are frisky, Pakistan is looking
    shifty,
    North Korea is too risky, Bomb Iraq.

    If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
    If we think someone has dissed us, bomb Iraq.
    So to hell with the inspections,
    Let's look tough for the elections,
    Close your mind and take directions, Bomb Iraq.

    It's "pre-emptive non-aggression", bomb Iraq.
    Let's prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
    They've got weapons we can't see,
    And that's good enough for me
    Because it's all the proof I need, Bomb Iraq.

    If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
    If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
    If you think Saddam's gone mad,
    With the weapons that he had, Bomb Iraq.

    If your corporate fraud is growin', bomb Iraq.
    If your ties to it are showin', bomb Iraq.
    If your politics are sleazy,
    And hiding that ain't easy,
    And your manhood's getting queasy, Bomb Iraq.

    Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
    For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq.
    Disagree? We'll call it treason,
    Let's make war not love this season,
    Even if we have no reason, Bomb Iraq

  • Witch Child
    Witch Child

    I wish I could remember the one about Dubbaya to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies... they are both a hoot.

    ~Witch

  • Xander
    Xander

    George W. Bush Inaugural Theme Song
    (What A Wonderful World!)
    to the tune "What a Wonderful World"
    Music: Sam Cooke Words: Joel Landy

    Don't know much about history.
    Don't know much foreign policy.
    I dont know the names of men I kill,
    Or implications of the seats I fill.
    But I do know who has paid my way.
    For corporate interests and the NRA
    What a wonderful world this will be.

    Dont know much about ecology.
    Cutting trees has always worked for me.
    And I dont know about the womens vote,
    And I cant think of any bill I wrote.
    But there's one thing that I know for sure,
    If the rich stay rich and the poor stay poor
    What a wonderful world this will be.

    I never claimed to be an " A" student, but I dont have to be.
    If you have deep pockets and sell nuclear rockets
    Youre a friend of my family.

    Don't know much about air pollution.
    Don't know much about the Constitution.
    Dont care much for solar energy.
    Theres nothing in it for my friends and me.
    And if we cant find any on our soil
    We can go to war and get more oil, and
    What a wonderful world this will be.

    Dont know much about the driving rules.
    Dont know much about the public schools.
    Dont know why the inner cities fail
    Why cant folks get dad to pay for Yale?
    And if the issues that will make you lose
    Are never covered in the evening news,
    What a wonderful world this will be.

    I never claimed to be an A student, but I dont have to be.
    If you have a brother whos the Florida Governor,
    The results no mystery.

    Don't know much about history.
    Don't know much foreign policy.
    Dont know much about the national debt.
    I never had to pay one off yet.
    But I do know who has paid my way.
    For special interests in the USA
    What a wonderful world this will be.

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    Ha ha ha

    These are too funny and sad but true.

    Will

  • Xander
    Xander

    A song for George W. Bush (with apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan):

    I am the very model of a candidate Republican
    I'm running for the president because my daddy said I can.
    I tout the NRA and quote the latest right-wing rhetoric,
    I don't eat Japanese food 'cause my daddy said I might get sick.

    I'm very well acquainted with the CEOs of industry
    They give me cash and I perform exactly what they want from me!
    I never have a moment's pause about the error of my ways;
    That's just the way we play the game of state governance nowadays.

    Chorus: That's just the way we play the game of state governance nowadays;
    (3x)

    I don't like reading heavy books or working on that vision thing;
    It's easier to kowtow to the Christian Right on everything!
    And so, because I tend to do exactly what they say I can
    I am the very model of a candidate Republican!

    Chorus: And so, because he tends to do exactly what they say he can
    He is the very model of a candidate Republican!

    I think kids will stop having sex if teachers just teach abstinence
    (I never said my social programs had to actually make sense);
    I've got a secret plan to combat gangs and teenage pregnancy--
    I'll use the budget surplus to give everyone cable TV!

    I'm tough on drugs and like to cut state-sponsored treatment to the bone
    Just throw 'em all in jail and they can figure it out on their own!
    I'm big on education and that's really not surprising since
    I've got a somewhat iffy grasp on people's names and world events.

    Chorus: He's got a somewhat iffy grasp on people's names and world events
    (3x)

    I'm anti-gay and anti-choice and anti-anything you will,
    To prove myself in Texan terms I signed the Concealed Weapons bill!
    And so, because there's never any question I'm a manly man
    I am the very model of a candidate Republican!

    Chorus: And so, because there's never any question he's a manly man
    He is the very model of a candidate Republican!

    I sort of missed serving in Vietnam for reasons various--
    It's not exactly wrong to say my young life was nefarious,
    But hey, I've changed my ways, and no one cares about that anyway;
    Compared to Clinton I look like a halo-wearing white hombre.

    Some people say that I'm an amateur and this just makes me sore;
    They ought to know I've been in politics since nineteen-ninety-four!
    I'm not quite cut out for the job but I'm one up on everyone:
    I'm cute and rich and best of all I'm President George Bush's son!

    Chorus: He's cute and rich and best of all he's President George Bush's son!
    He's cute and rich and best of all he's President George Bush's son!
    He's cute and really really rich and best of all he's Poppy Bush's son!

    My brother's name is Jeb and he's a state governor just like me;
    Between the two of us we'll build a twenty-year Bush dynasty!
    And so, because the voting public really does not give a damn
    I am the very model of a candidate Republican!

    Chorus: And so because the voting public really does not give a damn
    He is the very model of a candidate Republican!

    (Terri DiCintio, electronic mail, October 23, 2000).

  • Xander
    Xander

    In honor of Bush's so-called "Growth and Jobs Plan," I offer "Class Warfare." Feel free to sing along to "Moon River," by Henry Mancini and Johnny Mercer, using this midi link.)

    Class warfare,
    Poverty will swell
    If Karl and Dubya get
    Their way.

    Old dream breaker,
    That cruel faker.
    The poor who support Bush
    Will soon rue the day.

    Big grifter,
    Wants to run the world
    To keep his pals in erl,
    You see.

    He's driving the Dems
    Round the bend.
    When will his term end?
    He's not the middle's friend.
    Screws workers with glee.

    Cut taxes
    On the starving rich,
    Cause wealth is such a bitch,
    They say.

    They seem lucky,
    They're just plucky.
    Their fortunes keep growing,
    So don't make them pay.

    George Dubya's
    Right atop the world,
    Wreaks havoc on the world's
    Esprit.

    He's helping the poor,
    He'll pretend.
    Wants the sick to mend,
    On Bush you can depend,
    If you're richer than he.

    (with my deepest apologies to Hency Mancini, for I do truly love the original of this one. Of course, THIS one is funnier....)

  • Xander
    Xander

    Bush Loves Things Just the Way They Are

    (To be sung to "Just The Way You Are," by Billy Joel. Feel free to sing along using this midi link which opens a second window.)

    Don't go blaming
    George Bush for Wall Street,
    Cause fuzzy math is such a bore.
    mmm......... mmm........

    Don't imagine
    He's too familiar
    With anything but waging war.

    He loves to lead you
    To times of trouble,
    Or else he couldn't have come this far.
    mmm......... mmm........

    He took the good times.
    Turned them to bad times.
    He loves things just the way they are.

    Won't go trying
    Some new fashion.
    Won't change his viewpoints on a dare.
    mmm......... mmm........

    He'll always have his
    Oft spoken passion
    For launching wars with Tony Blair.

    He don't want clever
    Conversation.
    He never wants to work that hard.
    mmm......... mmm........

    He just wants Cheney
    And all his hawks to
    Let him pretend that he's in charge.

    You need to know that Bush will always be
    A guy that helps the wealthy few.

    Oooooooh,
    What will it take till you believe that he
    Will say whatever isn't true?

    He'd love to rule you
    And me forever.
    He made that clear right from the start.
    mmm......... mmm........

    He just wants power,
    Full, unfettered.
    He loves things just the way they are.

    (MUSIC BREAK)

    He don't want clever
    Conversation.
    He never wants to work that hard.
    mmm......... mmm........

    He just wants Cheney
    And all his hawks to
    Let him pretend that he's in charge.

    Nukes, Glorious Nukes

    (To be sung to the tune of "Food Glorious Food" from "Oliver")

    Nukes, glorious nukes! I'm eager to build 'em.
    When I'm in the mood, I might even launch 'em.
    Peace? Don't make me laugh, boys. What's next? There's no question.
    Rich patriots rule. Doves get indigestion.

    Bombs, nuclear bombs! Who's likely to fight it?
    Three wars at a time, our favourite diet.
    Just picture a nuked Iraq. Fried. Crispy. Adieu!
    Oh nukes, wonderful nukes, marvelous nukes, glorious nukes.

    War, eager for war! Spoiling for a good fight.
    Spurned allies run scared, afraid of USA might.
    Just thinking of an attack, my senses are reeling.
    One moment of knowing that hot button feeling.

    Nukes, glorious nukes! Boost profits for rich pals.
    That extra bit more, that's all we live for.
    Why should I be fated to just one term or two?
    Oh nukes, wonderful nukes, marvelous nukes, glorious nukes.

    Edited by - Xander on 30 January 2003 15:6:29

  • Xander
    Xander

    I'm Dubya the President

    (To be sung to the tune of "I'm Popeye The Sailor Man")

    I'm Dubya the President.
    I've always said what I meant.
    When I yell "Stop terror!"
    I'm never in error.
    I'm Dubya the President.

    I'm one tough old POTUS
    Which hates those no vote us.
    Wot ain't on the right and square.
    I stiffs 'em and bluffs 'em
    And always out-roughs 'em
    And none of 'em gets nowhere

    If anyone dares to risk my wrath
    It's "Wham" and it's "Bam," un'erstan'?
    So keep good behavior
    And b'lieve in the Savior.
    I'm Dubya and I'm the Man.

    I'm Dubya the President.
    I've always said what I meant.
    When I yell "Stop terror!"
    I'm never in error.
    I'm Dubya the President.

    (Verse 2)
    I'm Dubya and I'm the boss.
    Those liberals should just get lost.
    My pals are all wealthy.
    Who cares if you're healthy?
    I'm Dubya and I'm the boss.

    I'm one tough right winger
    Which gives Dems the finger
    While preachin' 'bout love and prayer.
    I miff 'em and cuffs 'em
    And always out-roughs 'em
    And none of 'em gets nowhere.

    If anyone dares to disagree
    They're sent off to jail, un'erstan'?
    So keep good behavior
    And b'lieve in the Savior
    I'm Dubya and I'm the man.

    I'm Dubya and I'm the boss.
    Those liberals should just get lost.
    My pals are all wealthy.
    Who cares if you're healthy?
    I'm Dubya and I'm the boss.

    (Verse 3)
    I'm Dubya and I'm in charge.
    And Clinton shouldn't be at large.
    He caused Mideast's crisis
    Like cute Condy Rice says.
    I'm Dubya and I'm in charge.

    I'm one true believer
    And underachiever
    Who got to the top, so there!
    I'll stiff 'em and stuff 'em
    And keep roughin' up 'em
    Who think that I shouldn't be here.

    If anyone dares to challenge me
    They're traitors whose thoughts should be banned.
    So keep good behavior
    And b'lieve in the Savior
    I'm Dubya and I'm the man.

    I'm Dubya and I'm in charge.
    And Clinton shouldn't be at large.
    He caused Mideast's crisis
    Like cute Condy Rice says.
    I'm Dubya and I'm in charge.

    Bush and Tony

    (To be sung to the tune of "Love and Marriage")

    Bush and Tony, Bush and Tony
    Go together like a cart and pony.
    This I tell you brother
    You can't have one without the other.

    Bush and Tony, Bush and Tony
    Always waging war & being phony.
    Ask the local gentry
    And they will say it's elementary.

    Try, try, try to separate them
    From their distortions.
    Try, try, try, and you will only come
    To this conclusion.

    Bush and Tony, Bush and Tony
    Go together like a cart and pony.
    Split them? Don't you bother.
    You can't have one without the other.

    Blair and Dubya, Blair and Dubya
    Share their toothpaste & their taste for power.
    This I tell you brother
    They're both afraid of Bush's mother.

    Blair and Dubya, Blair and Dubya
    Get together at the ranch for supper
    Will Bush feed him bull nuts?
    A nasty trick to play on Blair's guts.

    If you try to separate them
    It will confuse 'em.
    If you try, then you will only come
    To this conclusion.

    Blair and Dubya, Blair and Dubya
    Need each other's help with plans so dour.
    This I tell you brother
    You can't have peace,
    You can't have peace,
    You can't have peace while they're in power.

    Edited by - Xander on 30 January 2003 15:4:48

  • Xander
    Xander

    Best one 3vAr:

    The Official George W Bush Inaugural Song

    (Sung to the Beverly Hillbillies Theme)

    Come and listen to my story 'bout a boy name Bush.
    His IQ was zero and his head was up his tush.
    He drank like a fish while he drove all about.
    But that didn't matter 'cuz his daddy bailed him out.

    DUI, that is. Criminal record. Cover-up.


    Well, the first thing you know little Georgie goes to Yale.
    He can't spell his name but they never let him fail.
    He spends all his time hangin' out with student folk.
    And that's when he learns how to snort a line of coke.

    Blow, that is. White gold. Nose candy.


    The next thing you know there's a war in Vietnam.
    Kin folks say, "George, stay at home with Mom."
    Let the common people get maimed and scarred.
    We'll buy you a spot in the Texas Air Guard.

    Cushy, that is. Country clubs. Nose candy.


    Twenty years later George gets a little bored.
    He trades in the booze, says that Jesus is his Lord.
    He said, "Now the White House is the place I wanna be."
    So he called his daddy's friends and they called the GOP.

    Gun owners, that is. Falwell. Jesse Helms.


    Come November 7, the election ran late.
    Kin folks said "Jeb, give the boy your state!"
    "Don't let those colored folks get into the polls."
    So they put up barricades so they couldn't punch their holes.

    Chads, that is. Duval County. Miami-Dade.


    Before the votes were counted five Supremes stepped in.
    Told all the voters "Hey, we want George to win."
    "Stop counting votes!" was their solemn invocation.
    And that's how George finally got his coronation.

    Rigged, that is. Illegitimate. No moral authority.


    Y'all come vote, now. Ya hear?
  • Witch Child
    Witch Child

    Xander, good lord, man! Where did you find all this?????

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