by LogansRun 20 Replies latest jw friends
We dodged em for years. Didn't answer the door, let messages go to voice mail, never responded to notes left in door, etc.
Eventually they will get the point. If you bump into one, just tell them that you are doing fine and if you need them, you know how to get in touch with them.
You DO NOT owe them anything. Enjoy the reunion and if they piss you off after that, LET EM HAVE IT!!! LOL
Don't live in fear and hide from these people. Confront the scumbags who are trying to confront you, and hit them with this:
"Thank you for your concerns brothers, but I have private & personal issues which I can't discuss with anyone at the moment, but I certainly appreciate your motives and concern. If things change, I know that I can call you."
They'll get the message.
Keep dodging Logan's Run! They seem to get a bug up their butt every once in a while, however it gets tiring always dealing with the rejection. They know on some level that you are rejecting them, and will move on to other things... Then something will happen, C.O., whatever, and another wave of dodging will start again.
Were rooting for you. Keep your stick on the ice (Red Green reference).
You can contact an attorney and have a letter sent to the two or three JW's that are involved or the board of Elders......... .......... telling them that this constant harassment, having now lasted for two years, is approaching a criminal act called intimidation .....one in which the parties involved may be brought into a court of law and fined and/or a restraining order can be obtained....which would also have legal consequences.
I understand that you want to wait until after your family reunion.
But this feels like an act of personal intimidation. Way over the top.
From the time I stopped accompanying my wife to the meetings it took one year for my "best friend" elder to contact me. I told him I knew where the hall was and had his phone number...I never heard from the elders since.
Keep your Dignity, Poise and Grace.
What I mean is, IF they actually confront you, be so very mild and calm.
Remember "LESS is MORE". By this I mean, that the LESS you say, the MORE effective you will be.
State this line calmly "Please respect appropriate boundaries. Have a nice day" - and walk away.
Say no more. If they try and push for more, just repeat that same mild line again.
Also, remember the wise advice many have shared on this forum "The best revenge is to live a happy and successful life"
And "the only power they have over you is that which you allow"
Tell them you have been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder and schizophrenia and are undergoing treatment form your psychiatrist.
Just say youve been suffering with depression and are on medication that makes you feel strange so you cant be around people at the moment, then give them the thousand yard stare without saying another word.
Theyll soon leave you alone - oh and ask to borrow some money...youll never see them agsin!
After almost 2 years into my fade these bastards won't give it a rest constant hang ups on my answering machine and today for the first time in about 6 months they come to my apartment complex but thankfully couldn't get in they did keep buzzing me so they were here looking for me.
Hello. Not sure if I can give you a pep talk, but I do feel the duty (?) to tell you is not just disappearing from them. They are not going to just let you leave quietly. It's a cult and as such, they always want to have the last word and the last saying, and if not, they are not just going to let you leave in a graceful manner.
Part of fading involves preparing for this type of unsavory, obnoxious situations where you will have to set boundaries with them, but you are in a place where you have strength and/or support (or whatever else you need) to be able to send them to hell if you need to, sue them if you can/want, or whatever interaction you need to have in order for them to respect your wishes of not being involved with them.
If it's in your best interest to play their game, I don't see why not. However, there will be other family reunions and other events where you will finally have to face the fact that they will know.
Prepare for that event, when you will have to come clean to your family. Don't disappear and then have to deal with situations like this. Fading is NOT just disappearing.
The funny thing is, they think they are doing a noble thing trying to help you by hounding you.
I would have done the very same thing a few years ago, I think I even did 🤔
As scratch me has said, don’t just disappear, that will make family situations worse.
I’ve found by showing my face once every few weeks, I’ve slotted into the category of being “spiritually weak”, but have done it long enough for most of the elders to not be bothered with me anymore.
Or as someone else said you could fake depression...
