Strewth Sheila, It's OK To Have A Grope Ain't It?

by Englishman 14 Replies latest jw friends

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  Englishman

  Can someone please tell me exactly what constitutes a DF'ing offence?

  I recently read a post where someone said that they were DF'd for committing "adultery in the heart", someone else for gambling, someone else for smoking etc etc.

  It's all very puzzling, back in the 60's the WTBTS had a down on "petting and necking" but it wasn't DF'able. There were lots of sticky fingers in our congregation but the common belief was that you had to go "all the way" to get the big D.

  The other point that intrigues me is whether the "Truth" is different in the US to Europe. It certainly seems to be the case according to Beroea and Hilary_Step; and what is it like in Oz? A sort of Strewth?

  Does this Nationalistic "truth" mean that what is DF'able in New York becomes laughable in Much Binding In The Marsh? Is there a sort of Redneck JW elder class in Texas that wouldn't even qualify for baptism elsewhere? Could a JW with a guilt problem move to another KH before confessing so that he would be sure of getting a more favourable response?

  Englishman.
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  TheApostleAK

  Every cong i been to has got their own different rules concerning marriage, dating etc. Makes no sense. I was told once by a crusty old fart that groping in marriage is considered "loose conduct" and thus DFable.
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  wasasister

  Absolutely, there are regional differences in application of WT "policy". In smaller communities, elders reflect the more conservative ideas surrounding them. Of course, elders might attempt to argue that they must use community standards so as not to "bring reproach"; and I have often heard this applied to dress and grooming. Thus in a smaller conservative town, Witnesses would be encouraged to dress according to the community norm so as not to stumble anyone.

  However, this goes much further. The same exact "offense" which would bring swift and severe action in one congregation might not even raise an eyebrown in a more liberal area. In parts of the southern US, sisters are far more likely to run afoul of harsh treatment because of the "old boys club" atmosphere. When I moved to a larger, northern city, I found the brothers far less threatened by outspoken and intelligent sisters. I was even asked to prepare the quarterly audit of the congregation accounts and did so until we got a narrow-minded CO visit.

  I can't really speak to international differences, but after being exposed to accounts from Europe and Australia it seems there is a greater difference still in how certain matters are handled.

  As an example: after we left our small-town congregation, we learned of a very nice sister who was disfellowshipped for having a "bad attitude" towards the body of elders. She became angry during a committee hearing where she had been accused of being a lesbian. The evidence against her? She was observed out in service giving a distraught sister a hug and kiss on the cheek. She refused to dignify the accusation and walked out of the hearing. For this, she was disfellowshipped. I cannot imagine it would have even been brought up in my current location.

  I prefer the term "Skewth".
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  dark clouds

  i remember being four years old and going to spain one summer. my mom and her friends, along with the brothers/sisters she had met were drinking wine during their lunch at a convention. it was being served and it was optional, the reason i remember this, is because for years my mom kept repeating the story as well as the one when she went on field service in spain in order to experience the difference, as if there really were one, and they stopped at a local pub for a drink after service. . . the year was 1974.

  not that you can get df'd for this, but i would have loved to have gone to a pub after service here in NY, in fact i would have spent more time in service if that would have been an option. . .

  another difference that i remember is that growing up in a spanish speaking congregation we were not allowed to have any type of beards of gotees, mustaches were the extent of facial hair.

  yet i knew brothers in the english speaking ones that did have beards and these were tolerated. in the spanish hall we would have been reproved for imitating the world, or trying to look like jesus. . .

  i guess its up to the totalitarian state of mind of the PO in the particular hall you attend. . .

  CHUCK
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  Yerusalyim

  English,

  I get the feeling that it's not a DFing offense if you're an Elder or CO/DO.

  YERUSALYIM

  There is more of heaven and earth than is dreamt of in your philosphy, Horatio.

  Dickens: A Tale of Two Cities
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  unanswered

  interesting question, englishman!

  i definitely agree with wasasister, it just depends on the area you are in. what might be frowned upon in one hall, might be a d/f'ing offense in another.

  LOL, dark clouds, i would have liked that pub after service ritual as well! might have been worth knocking on doors,...no, i guess not.-nate
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  Englishman

  Nate,

  When my dad was a PO, he used to hold his servants meetings in The Load Of Hay whilst drinking his Carlsberg Special.

  I think that he thought that JW's had the truth, they were just made a few pints of beer short.

  Englishman who aint short.
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  unclebruce

  yet i knew brothers in the english speaking ones that did have beards and these were tolerated. in the spanish hall we would have been reproved for imitating the world, or trying to look like jesus. . .

  Trying to look like Jesus an offence? That's hillarious! Only JW's with a Catholic background could think that one up. I thought the whole idea was to be as much like the Jewish Lord as possible?

  cheers unclebruce, beard and robe free (my nose is fairly big though)
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  Moxy

  i think this is well known, a recent letter (last year?) made cybersex a DF'ing offence.

  mox
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  COMF

  Is there a sort of Redneck JW elder class in Texas that wouldn't even qualify for baptism elsewhere?

  Yeah, buddy.

  COMF