jehovahs-witness.com dating service?

by happysunshine 45 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  onacruse

  hahaha...Time now for me to pass along what everybody kept telling Katie and me this last summer:

  Sheesh, you guys...GET A ROOM!

  LOL

  Craig
• 

  joannadandy

  Narssicistic libra with split-personality and self-depricating nature nymphomaniac seeks male with heavy equipment for long walks on the beach and deep and spiritual conversations during heavy-duty sexual congress. (Must be able provide your own towels and/or mops). Spirited at 23 with ample pillowy goodness I seek a male to fluff said pillowy goodness. Mmmm...Male! Most interested in finding a mate with similar interests, such as:

  • Obese animals
  • Hot oil massage
  • Ancient Icelandic artifacts
  • Post-modern literary criticisms
  • Tag-team crocheting
  • Educating the public about Satan's footgear (a.k.a The Rollerblade)
  • Working hard at raking manure at my Unicorn farm
  • Monkey Domination
  • Spirited games like Hi-Ho Cherry-O, CandyLand, and my all time favorite Chutes and Ladders
  • Prophecy through mashed potato readings
  • Creating an inner circle to surround myself with made up of uneducated, sycophantastic, nepotistic Mormons
  • Learning the internatinal language of esperanto
  • Weaving leather harnesses
  • Creating a new perfume, "Withering Scorn" because it is cheap to make, for , as you can see, I posess that pheremone in vast quantity.

  Please send all earnest replies for intense sexual exploration to: [email protected] and title them "Hot Monkey Lovins for Jo Jo Bean" I also welcome any theological discussions pertaining to Armegeddon, because I swear to you on the day of Armegeddon, the shuffleboard stick and the hockey puck will rise triumphant over Satan's Shoe- The Rollerblade!

  Edited by - joannadandy on 5 February 2003 21:43:46
• 

  not interested

  ummm, Joanna,

  i think i love you, im all about the monkey lovin, and that withering scorn scent drives me crazy!!!
• 

  Trauma_Hound

  Name - Belzabub, Satan, The Dark Lord

  Age - 10,000+

  Height - 10'

  Weight - Infinity * pi

  Hair - Firey Red

  Eyes - Black as opals

  Status - Single, and looking for some good souls to steal.

  Interests - Death and distruction, murder and mayhem, the apocolypse (as soon as a bunch of guys in brooklyn decide when it's going to happen.)

  Wants - Cute, Slim, Girl, with big boobs, for a firey good time.
• 

  Sirona

  Hey, TH, maybe we'd be right together. I'd be well into the Dark Lord.

  Not got big boobs though, they're medium sized. Pay for my boob job?

  Sirona
• 

  SYN

  SWM (Single Witty Mandrake), financially secure (if you consider owning a car that's older than you are "financially secure"), "athletic" body (i.e. pencil-thin), looking for someone to spend time with, preferably doing one of the following:

  • Pursuing programming bugs that are so obscure and subtle they have been known to cause seizures in people prone to mental illnesses.
  • The tabulation of enormous amounts of conspiracy theories.
  • Repetitive bashing of head against wall when discussing "faith" with Fundamentalists.
  • Looking for gHod by any means possible, but preferably something that involves women running about starkers under a full moon.
  • Scaring the living bejesus out of small veld mammals such as antelopes and lizards for fun.
  • Insane giggling whenever a truly ironic/utterly ludicrous post is read on JWZone.
  • Laughing at Dubs. Over and over.
  • Bursting into gales of giggling every time you hear phrases like "Governing Body" and "Faithful and Discreet Slave".
  • Running away from people in suits on street corners at high speed.
  • Using small rolled-up Watchtower magazines as lethal interpersonal weapons during meetings.
  • Spending excessive amounts of time discussing why the Governing Body is a bunch of glorified windbags on crack, and how they should be removed. In great detail.
  • Understanding that you will never bonk Pamela Anderson, no matter how much you want to.
  • Waking up entire neighbourhood in the mornings due to engine noise from the faulty exhaust pipe of said car.
  • Rushing about all over Johannesburg in a car without a functioning cooling system under it's bonnet, and stopping at every second petrol station to refill the radiator's water tank.

  If you think you can keep up, drop me some mail.
• 

  joannadandy

  SYN--I think we need to meet to discuss romantic possibilites...especially concerning this little gem:

• Scaring the living bejesus out of small veld mammals such as antelopes and lizards for fun.

  As long as said mammles are not obese, I am ok with this.