Why do you think......

copsec

so many people who come out of the Borg are so depressed and angry and freaked out????? I have been out for 7 years now and I am happier than I have ever been in my life and was from the very first moment I left! The only reason I even go into Ex-JW groups is I like to make fun of them and other exs are the only ones who understand what I am talking about when I make a funny comment?? The only person I am angry with who is a JW is my ex-hubby and I am only angry at him cause I wanted tor emain friends but he didn't. So,,, why do so many people freak out when they leave?

Gizmo

Some have the belief system more deeply ingrained than others, so it becomes harder to just let it go, without any real effort.There are also those whose whole family structure has been raped, and it's a little difficult just to walk away without any pain. Plus we are all different emotionally, and don't always deal with things the same way.

Elsewhere

Your story sounds a lot like mine...On a Thursday night a brother was giving a Service Meeting talk and said that if you don't really believe what was taught by the bOrg, that you should leave.

I i mmediately stood up, gathered my stuff and walked right out never to return. That was some of the best advice any JW had ever given me.

I was soooo glad to leave. Not going to the meetings and out in FS lifted such a huge burden off of me.

confuzcious

Copsec,

I'm freaked out because I really care about what God thinks.

Right now, I see things both ways but I am afraid that I might actually be "fighting against God."

dottie

I think some people freak out because they are mad at the fact that they have wasted so much time on this ridiculous book publishing company. Personally I do feel this way sometimes. Looking back at all the wasted time, yes it pisses me off, but you do have to move on in your life. I like to think that things can only get better, and since I left they have.

Dottie

Bona Dea

I think my experience was kind of like a fish out of water. It wasn't just my need or attachment to the WTS that "freaked me out" but it was the idea of putting everything I had ever known behind me and starting over...and not even knowing where to begin to start over from . Although, I was never a baptized JW, I have always been in some sort of church/religion/belief system that centered around the bible. Slowly and gradually, I didn't just lose faith in the church, the religion, or the borg; I finally completely lost faith in the bible. That was sort of like cutting my pinky toe off, ya know? That was a year ago. I am still a little dazed and confused and feeling around like a blind man in unfamiliar territory without a stick. Each day I reaffirm my decision by reading the bible and reading other books and websites and I am truly amazed that I wasn't able to let it go sooner. I guess it was my security blanket. I held desperately to the imaginary protection it offered me from unknown things and the comfort it brought me just thinking that I had some hope in it.

It is hard for me to be happy about this "enlightenment". Don't get wrong. I do enjoy it - finally...I really didn't at first simply because it was so frightening just letting go of all I ever believed. It's just, it seems since this has happened, my life has gotten harder. My husband has become more fervent and more determined to become baptized and to ingrain the dub mentality into our children. I have a hard time telling my kids why I no longer go to the Kingdom Hall. I tell them I don't agree with what they teach, and leave it at that. I have a hard time praying with the family (because of the extremely heavy usage of the name Jehovah). They know I don't believe in Jehovah anymore, but I don't know how they feel about that and the last thing I want to do is make them feel uncomfortable talking about spiritual matters with me.

For a while there, I was taking them to a baptist church, but I just can't do that any longer because I don't believe what they teach any more than I believe what the JWs teach. I feel like I need to do something to counteract the crap he's feeding them, but I don't know what. I want to be completely honest with them about how I feel about Jehovah, the witnesses, christianity, religion...but I feel they are too young for the lengthy explanations that I would want to give. And I do not want them to feel that they have to believe as I do to gain acceptance and/or love from me. I want them to come to their own conclusions, but I know that can't happen...because if I stand back and try to just allow them to flourish in their own individual way, then my husband will seize that opportunity and use it to force his own ideas on them. Definitely a rock and a hard place...

Bona

peacefulpete

bona dia...they will at least see a model of thinking for and being honest to oneself.

GotJesus

Bona- I must say that after reading your post, a little fear crept up in me. Having lost faith in the bible itself seems like an "off the deep end" kind of revelation to me. Ive been seeing alot of that in many of the posts on this board. It seems the WTBTS hs done so much wrong in peoples lives, that many just go to the opposite extreme. You said in your post that your life has gotten harder. Without a basic belief or faith in the bible, I would say the road ahead will never become any easier for you. Please understand that Im not trying to make you feel any worse than you already do but as I read your post, a sense of urgency rose up within me to share my thoughts with you. In the future I can share with you my story if you would like as Im not into preaching to those who could really care less.

God Bless You.

peacefulpete

Cult recovery is a process. To deny this is to never heal. Do a simple word search such as "cult recovery jehovah's witness" or the like. You will find some very vauable insights into this process and why many go only half way. Sadly some of the search results are sites written by those who themselves are inolved with groups as cultlike as the JWs and seize opportunity to proselytize the confused and lonely. There are more objective sites however so do look for them. If anyone does he/she will not need me to recommend any one in particular.

The awareness of the noninspiration of the Bible is likewise a process, a second one, for those who left the JWs or other cultlike fundemental groups for reasons other than this awarness. In fact one of the insidious aspects of cults is the cultivated fear of being left to decide life's questions without a tutor. So even after physically leaving a Bible cult the person is not truly free to think s an autonomous individual as long as he/she has a book to do it for them. Mind control works on many levels. Those under it's influence are of course uaware of it's power on their thinking. Some leave cults without learning anything. They do not perceive that the real problem was a inconsistant application of critical thinkings skills. Some believe that if they retain a faith in a God and a book they now no longer understand, this preserves their value/ worth in the big picture. They often more agressively declare belief in these things as a defense from the cult members' charge of a wicked "godless"heart. Having no other means of understnding the world and establishing self worth they cling to the Bible in a spirit of defiance. Now they slog along unsure of what is true, hoping someone will tell them. If they only applied the same critical questioning tward this book as they had to tward the cult they would come to see the issues more clearly. It is perhaps a much simpler and swift process for those who escaped the cult because of study and who came to the recognition that the Bible itself is only a tool, a plastic book that has been used by cults to persuade and manipulate for thousands of years.

Life is good when we open our eyes to the beauty around us as well as the tasks before the human race that we can share in.

Edited by - peacefulpete on 8 February 2003 1:57:53

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confuzious

Don't worry about "fighting against God". You can't possibly win. "God's will is that you be in heaven, and nothing can keep you from it or it from you." (A Course in Miracles)

Bona Dea

Peaceful Pete gave good advice. When you grow beyond the realization that not all of the bible is inspired, you will be able to see the inspiration that is there. And there is much there. When you give up making an organization(church) responsible for your spiritual developement, you will become responsible yourself.

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