You Never Know Who Might Be on the Other End...

MrMoe

Due to the fact that my ex-husband took most of my earthly belongings that had some value (such as my 27" TV) I have been scanning the classified ads looking for replacement items. Today I saw and ad for a 27" TV for $55, so of course, I called. The conversation became interesting right off the bat. A man picks up the phone, low rough voice, slight southern accent, and he was obviously rather intoxicated or very high, but I could not tell which of the two. (And by the way, I am far from 300 pounds...) A very gravely voice answered: Him: Jean, she ain't home. Me: What time do you think she will be home sir? Him: Maybe 'round 10, maybe not. I ain't her keeper, she ain't my keeper. I can have her call ya back. *please note at this point the speech was rather slurred.* Me: I prefer not to give my number out sir, so how about I call back at 10 o'clock? Him: M'K *groan grunt groan* ya know, she ain't really my old lady. She bi*ches too much. Me: Oh really sir? I am sorry to hear that. Him: All she wants is money. Everything been paid for the month. All she does is bi*ch bi*ch bi*ch, and gets pissed off that I spend my money in biker bars. It's my fu**in' life, my fu**in' business. And my boots are old, the left one rubbed my foot raw. You sound hot. Me: Sir, are you drunk? Him: No, I am stoned. I don't drink, no sir. Never ever never never drink. Sorry ma'am, hope I haven't upset you. Me: No sir, you haven't upset me. You sound very high right now. Him: You sound beautiful. Wanna hit the bar with me this afternoon? Me: I thought you said you didn't drink? Is this a pot bar that you are referring to? Him: Pot bar? Me: Well, if you don't drink, they must serve weed. Him: Naw, I drink. But with my money. Me: Do you work sir? Him: No. Now you sound like my old lady. But she isn't my old lady you know. No sir, she don't give up the pu**y. You sound beautiful. Me: Well sir, I am almost 300 pounds. Him: Sounds good to me, more loving for yer new old man. Wanna hit the bar later? I can take you for a ride on my Harley if you'll fit. *I couldn't help it, I laughed... "if I'll fit" - snicker* Me: No sir, I am a devout Catholic, I don't drink, smoke, or get high. All I do is eat. Him: I eat, too. *wicked laugh from the old biker dude* Me: Well sir, I best be going, have a great morning sir. Him: Hey wait, can I tell ya about me and Jean and why she ain't my old lady? You sound so beautiful. Me: Sorry sir, I have to go, the kids need breakfast. Him: How many kids ya got? Me: Six, that's why I am so fat. Him: Oh. At least I know you give up the pu**y. I'll tell Jean you called. Or maybe I won't, depends on how bi*chy she gets. Wanna hit the bar? Me: No thank you sir, have a nice morning. Him: You too, babydoll.

gumby

Dang moe!

Sounds like you had a real sweetie on the phone. You rememberd the conversation well.

I knew this dude wasn't ONLY stoned. Stoned people don't react and talk like that..........drunks and downer pill poppers do though. Sounds like if you did hook up with his partner and you wanted to buy the tv........it would be a little scary going over to pick it up! Good luck and be carefull

Gumby

ashitaka

HAHAHAHAHA!

Classic.

I'm imagining this drunk guy slurring 'baby doll'. bwahaha.

ash

MrMoe

ashi - not just drunk guy... drunk with a redneck accent and a voice echoing years of hard living, drinking, and Harleys. *shudder at the thought of what he was doing to the sound of my voice*

gumby - heck no I won't go there!!! Screw the TV, cheap or not!

Edited by - MrMoe on 8 February 2003 9:39:34

You Never Know Who Might Be on the Other End...

MrMoe

gumby

ashitaka

MrMoe

expatbrit

MrMoe

expatbrit

MrMoe

Introspection

expatbrit

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