How to evade questions from elders when you stop going out door to door (page 3)

stuckinarut2

You might add, ' Please don't hesitate to call me if you need spiritual help.'

That's gold!!!

The Searcher

Least said, the better. Excuses given to elders will just be used to fuel more interrogation questions.

You could try this - or a variation of it:

"Thank you for your concerns brothers, but there's nothing private & personal which I wish to discuss with anyone at the moment, but I appreciate your motives and concern. If things change, I will definitely call you."

Conversation Stoppers:

1) "We only want to come and give you encouragement." = Simply repeat the response above!

2) "But how can we help you if you won't talk to us?" = "Everyone has private & personal situations which they can't discuss with others, and that includes elders - I'm no different!"

3) Are you refusing to talk with us? = "No, I just don't want to discuss things right now. I'll call you if things change."

If they persist with their interrogation, just say 'thanks', and walk away - immediately! Do not prolong their interrogation. They can't punish you for ending a conversation!

Repeat any/all of the above to anyone who tries to extract information from you, because the Elders will get someone you trust to try and get the information out of you!

Witness My Fury

I'd just be honest to a point about it. "I have some doubts myself and feel like a fraud telling others about things i'm not sure of myself",

if pressed on the doubts, just fob them off that you are trying to resolve them yourself and dont need any help with it thanks...

Having doubts isnt a crime, spreading them around to others IS (to them). There is a big difference in dub land between those two.

every situation is different as it depends on how gung ho your elders are.

eyeuse2badub

I stopped all FS about 2 years ago. I've had one visit from an elder, who is also a friend.

He asked me why I was not out in FS and regular at meetings and so I told him that I had 'just lost my sense of urgency'. Of course, he asked why I'd 'lost my sense of urgency' which is exactly what I wanted him to ask me.

It was my opportunity to explain, very kindly, that the gb/org/corporation/society no longer had a sense of urgency for the preaching work. I explained to him that the construction of new 'worldwide headquarter' BUILDINGS was the most important work. Why did the org need 'new' bigger, better BUILDINGS when the preaching work was suppose to be the most important work and the time is "so short". I showed him that literally millions of man hours are being devoted to building BUILDINGS and CAMPUS' that are not necessary to accomplish the preaching. He got my point and I haven't had any inquiries since.

just saying!

eyeuse2badub

StarTrekAngel

Haven't they say many times already that their buildings will survive?

In my personal experience, although short for now, telling them that the matter is private and personal could lead to more inquiries in some cases but is not a bad idea. Sometimes they will remind you that you can have privacy with them as if you were speaking to God directly. Whatever you decide to say, playing a game of confusion would always work best. Keep them guessing. The more theories they have the better. If they insist to meet with you, see if you can find a way to meet with different elders at different times. Make sure you don't re use your excuses. Tell different people different things, especially if you know they will be discussing them with one another.

This game of confusion has managed to keep the UFO theories alive and well without ever reaching anything conclusive. Could well work here.

Rattigan350

Just tell them that the pay Is not good enough and the return on investment does is not there so you are investing your time in other more worthwhile actives that have a positive ROI.

stan livedeath

just say you have a serious financial problem that's taking up all your time and attention.

then ask for a loan to help with the problem. a few hundred to start with. i'm sure the elders will concentrate their shepherding efforts on some other soul.

Giordano

You mentioned your child........I think it's fair to tell them that you are concerned with the WTBTS's pedophile problem. 1006 unreported cases in Australia means a multiple of that number since pedophile's seldom abuse a child one time.

You are doubly concerned that not only is your child at risk but there is also a risk to the public who could be fooled by JW pedophile. For all you know your congregation has a pedophile in it.

Simply put your foot down and stick to this one issue and they will back off. They can't really support child molesting can they?

Olivia Wilde

@Giordano that is also a good point to make and believe it or not there is a registered Sex offender in the congregation, I don't know all the circumstances and what happened, actually I heard the story years ago but then I thought he was found innocent based on what I had heard, but then I thought if he was innocent why did he had to register then? I don't allow my child going alone inside the KH anywhere even when saying hello to little friends my child's age,..,, something to note I was never made aware of there being a registered sex offender in the congregation for all I know there could be more. I ran into his photo checking the city I live in. ...I do plan to move halls since after finding he was indeed registered, we have strict state laws on that and I don't understand how can he be around or near children when I believe they are to keep certain distances, I have to look into it and be more observant what he does after meetings...

Hoffnung

If reporting hours is not a problem, just report fake numbers. You can always claim to preach these few hours with family members or with a friend in a neighbor congregation.

If you do not want to report any more, and someone wants to make an appointment, set it up, and cancel it the night before. something unexpected has come up or whatever. If you that 2 times, they will not bother you any more.

How to evade questions from elders when you stop going out door to door

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