When you want something really bad.

by Vivamus 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  SLOAN

  Viv,

  I'm soo happy for you. Father and daughter relationships can truely be special. You are very lucky. I'm glad that you realise it. Enjoy every moment together!!
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  Vivamus

  Thanx for the nice comments. Yes, I am enjoying my time with him, and I am very happy.
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  Guest 77

  Wow Viv, I'm happy for you! Enjoy!

  Guest 77
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  Solace

  Viv,

  That is so nice!

  My father disappeared before I was born so I also didnt know him, growing up.

  I had his parents address, but my mother never allowed contact since she believed that they were covering up my fathers whereabouts so he wouldnt have to pay child support, etc.

  When I was about to be married, I decided to take a chance and send an invitation to my father, at his parents address. Well the wedding came and went and I hadnt heard from him so I kindof just wrote him off. I figured well, at least I tried, ya know?

  Not long into my marriage, I was sitting in my living room and the phone rang. I walked to the phone, picked it up and said Hello. The strange voice on the other end asked who I was, so I said my name. He was crying by now and he repiled, "Hi, this is your dad".

  I remember just sitting there in shock, on the floor, with the phone to my ear. I couldnt say a thing for the longest time. Do you know what its like to have a million questions, but not being able to bring yourself to mouth a single one? Its like, the word "Dad" seemed so foreign to me. I had never called anyone "Dad" in my entire life and to hear some strange person on the phone, tell me he was my dad, was so overwhelmingly bizarre.

  We have kept in contact over the years. We write letters, send cards etc. I believe him when he says he wishes he could change the past and that he is sorry for what he did, but I still cant bring myself to call him "Dad". Im honestly not angry at all, I just dont feel comfortable calling him, or anyone else for that matter, "Dad". He does sign all of his letters, "Love Dad" and is trying to be a good grandfather to my son and daughter.

  I believe relationships can last forever, especially if we have realistic expectations. If we realize that nobody is perfect and if we are capable of forgivness, we should always be able to make new friends and keep the friends and family that we do have.

  That is, as long as they want to be in our lives and the relationship isnt distructive in the first place, ya know?

  I wish you and your father only the best and I hope you are always able to remain friends.

  Take Care.
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  DanTheMan

  Touching experience. I don't know your background Viv, was dad never a dub?

  Though my dad has always been in my life, he is a very difficult person to have any sort of real relationship with. He was never physically affectionate towards me when I was a wee lad, and now all we ever do is shake hands. I wish our relationship was better, but he is a tough nut to crack.

  You are very lucky Viv, having a supportive father.
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  Vivamus

  Thanx Guest, (((Dan)))

  (((Heaven))) I know what you're saying. I had trouble calling him dad at first, but now it feels normal. That first time when you see eachother is just plain weird, and gutwrenching at the same time. I'm glad to read to your dad is trying to be a great grandaddy.