Great post and thread, rebel, thanks. Such interesting accounts, wow, this cult leaves it's mark doesn't it?
xjwsrock, can't believe you said all that and you are still a serving elder, wow, how do you do it?
me in brief:
where am I in recovery....: volatile, only 6 months into awakening, I have healthy days when I feel exhilarated and free and want to walk away with my head held high, knowing it's a damaging cult....then there are days that pull me back in to self doubt, guilt, worried about what they think, missing the community., wondering if this is the right thing to do.....then there are days when i know it's b.s, but I am so, so angry with myself for putting me and my kids through this and messing up a great deal of opportunities in the best years of my life....
so yeah, I'm all over the place....
how long? Only 6 months from finally acknowledging serious doubts, researching and gradually awakening (an ongoing process)
where do I hope to be in a year? Not looking back anymore, living an authentic life, no guilt, no self doubt, back in the land of the living, with more non witness friends and a social life, no longer caring what the witnesses think or say, giving the whole religion (even ex-jw stuff) less mental energy and time and just living my life as if it never darkened my path, for my kids to be healthy, happy and successful OUTSIDE the cult, it would be absolutely great if my hubby woke up too but it's never going to happen.....