by LoneWolf 27 Replies latest jw friends
The touching story of you and your mother was badly undercut by an aura of cheap sentimentality masquarading as wisdom.
Glad for the breakthrough with your family, though. Glad you shared it. Now, keep it close to your heart and cherish it always (gotta love the cliche -- gets you through life without ever having to examine anything too deeply).
Dedalus
lone wolf-it's really hard to know the level of someone's sincerity, or figure out their intentions/motivations on a DB, without having the benefit of face-to-face interaction, but your story seemed really heartfelt to me. i was touched because i've always had a lot of tension with my father, and sometimes it seems that their will never be a solution, but, both of us keep trying, andi guess that's as much as anybody can ask for.
i think sunchild's post was right on the money, sometimes you can't MAKE a situation better, even when you sincerely try to. thanks for the story about you and your mom, it was encouraging for me. i'm a lot younger than you are, so i'm not trying to act like your greater experience in life doesn't mean any thing to me, because it does. i've been through a lot in my life, but i still have a lot more to go through and learn from.
i didn't want to make enemies by posting these thoughts, i hope i haven't, i just didn't want to ignore what i view as a heartfelt thread. maybe this is one of those confrontations that should be let go. it's only my 2-nate:)
LOL. Can I call ‘em or what? Those two gals remind me of when I was a kid and we would go busting into the chicken house at a dead run. That was some of the most glorious pandemonium you ever saw, with chickens, feathers, and squawkin’ flying all over the place! Trouble is, if you do that too much to chickens, they’ll quit laying eggs.
There’s no danger here though! Do that to these two lovely ladies, and they not only lay eggs --- heck --- you can also count on brickbats, watermelons edgewise, and all kinds of good stuff! Hehehehehe!
To Mommie Dark
Let me add a little here on the serious side. You say that I’ve misjudged you. I would like to believe that. I’ve seen a few of your posts that were reasoned and logical and I thoroughly enjoyed them. Why you waste your time and talent on putting others down without giving them the benefit of the doubt is beyond me. You can do better than that.
Wish I could say the same thing for Tina.
Now, could we move on to a topic that isn't about Mommie Dark's prejudices?
To Prisca
You write: “LW, I'm not interested in he said/she said. Life's too short.” Yeah, that’s for sure. And I wouldn’t bother except that there are over 1,400 people registered on this board and it looks to me like less than 1% post on it. Why? Partly because they want to stay anonymous as they are afraid of the Organization.
However, I’d be willing to bet that there is just as many who won’t because they know blamed well that they too would get savaged by self-centered lunatics who care about nothing except glorifying themselves at other people’s expense.
Oh, and I didn’t accuse you of starting that thread on “Witnessing in the Nude.” I’m merely emphasizing what Mommy (Wendy) said: “This is not a game.”
To Mark,
Wal, it wasn’t like I wouldn’t speak to her or anything like that. It was more like anytime anyone got near her she’d have her defenses so far up that you felt you had to have a lawyer with you to say good morning.
The thing was, she was like that to everyone. There were still my two brothers and two sisters here and they were all getting the same thing. The main difference was that they were trying to just endure it and didn’t know what to do. They finally had to give up, and that is what alarmed me. She was going to have a bitter, lonely, old age if things continued on as they were. I didn’t want that to happen.
You write: “I never distanced myself from her even though with her blinders tightly on she has distanced her self from me.” Precisely. And that will be the way that it will stay if you merely try being ‘nice’. I’m not encouraging disrespect here, rather, you need hers. You will need to gain her confidence in two things:
1. You will need to convince her that you will not bend where principle is involved, regardless of how mad she gets.
2. You will need to convince her that you have the self control to exercise honesty and fair play, especially when you are angry.
If you do not accomplish these two things, she will never gain the respect and confidence in you that she needs to trust you enough to open up. I sure hope you succeed. It’s a wonderful thing.
Peace and love to you too
To ianao (idiot class)
LOL on the support group. What would we name it? I’d like to have something a little more original that “Idiot’s Anonymous”. Any ideas?
To Rochelle.
“The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.” That’s for sure. And I know you mean well too.
You write: “Not everyone you meet will like, support, accept, agree with or even want or try understand you.” That’s just the point. I don’t give a hoot about the acceptance and friendship of people who would judge others on such flimsy evidence. It isn’t worth having. (Note my comment to Prisca above.) They want to make others miserable? Fine. What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. That silly feminist yammering means nothing to me. I’ve long since proven otherwise to those who count.
“So, why not just cut your (my) losses and move on to something else?” LOL. What losses? You should read my email!
To Unanswered:
Thanks for the two cents. Rest assured you won’t find any enmity here. I may speak bluntly at times, but that by no means enmity. Rather, it is usually a result of anxiety for someone. Take care now, and I'm glad you found it encouraging. Keep your chin up, now.
LoneWolf
However, I’d be willing to bet that there is just as many who won’t because they know blamed well that they too would get savaged by self-centered lunatics who care about nothing except glorifying themselves at other people’s expense.
Thank you Lone Wolf for your self-assessment. VERY WELL PUT!!
Lone Wolf
I too have 2 brothers and 2 sisters actually all doing
what your 2 suggestions indicate.
My point is that from my personal experience you need
that MOMMENT and with out it nothing you do or don't do
changes much of anything. If not for that MOMMENT
would anything be different today for you and your mom?
Of course she needs to be in the frame of mind to accept
the momment i.e. your 2 suggestions. I'm happy for you
that you and your mom saw the MOMMENT and embraced it.
I and the rest of my family are still waiting for ours.
Peace and Love
Mark
In the past, all things are possible.
He who controls the present, controls the past.
hey 6,
Don'tcha just luv cryptic messages? Reminds one of Spy vs Spy.
waiting
Tom said:
To Mommie Dark
Let me add a little here on the serious side. You say that I’ve misjudged you. I would like to believe that. I’ve seen a few of your posts that were reasoned and logical and I thoroughly enjoyed them. Why you waste your time and talent on putting others down without giving them the benefit of the doubt is beyond me. You can do better than that."
No I never said that you misjudged me. I say you have NO right at all to judge me. I say that you THINK you have some right to exercise headship over women based on the hairy little thing dangling between your thighs. I say that a man who admits he dated and discussed sexual matters with a thirteen-year-old ON THE FIRST DATE, and justifies this by saying he kept her virgin until he married her, is probably NOT an arbiter of morals for others. Especially for women.
(BTW Elvis always said Priscilla was a virgin until he married her although he spent long dark nights alone with her in a dark bedroom. My father also bragged about my virginity to anyone who would listen; all the while in secret he was trying his best to see how close he could get to bending my virginity without breaking it. So forgive me if I got a real horselaugh out of your rationalization about your child-bride. Boy do I feel sorry for THAT little girl! She never had a lick of emotional or intellectual freedom...you made her your property before she was even done sprouting her pubes!)
I say that a person of either gender has to EARN the right to exercise headship. You think you have it as a god-given right. You think my belief that women don't need avuncular paternalists leading them around by the nose makes me a featherhead.The fact that I don't suffer fools doesn't mean I'm incapable of 'giving others the benefit of the doubt.' But when a man like you keeps blowing and blowing and blowing stinky meaningless rhetorical gas all over in a vain attempt to put uppity 'feminists' in their place, you REMOVE all doubt.
I don't want to 'put you down.' I just want you to quit posting these long BORING diatribes, trying to justify your hatred and mistrust of strong women and your need to try (feebly but annoyingly) to dominate us all, because ultimately you think your mom wasn't nurturing enough.
BTW how does a 'featherheaded broad' manage to be 'reasoned and logical' except when she disagrees with you?
Absolutely DONE responding to this meat puppet,
MD
(castrating bitch and featherhead extraordinaire)
Well Said MD!!!!! At first,I wasn't going to add anything as you pretty much covered the issue . But just some thoughts.........
After taking in the history of relationships as revealed by lw
1. The quest/manipulation to dominate and control his mother thru tactics he described.
2. Dating a 13 yr old,one not fully mature and socially adept.....(putting him in a [postion of power and control)
Led me to this conclusion.....
Putting that all together with his continued attempts at domination and control here........I see a quintessential emotional,psychological and verbal batterer. They do carry this behavior on to other relationships.
I remember the pattern/research as this was the very first seminar I gave to fellow colleagues and students. It's truly some of the most reprehensible covert behaviors used by this type of batterer.
Besides those points,what you have is someone stuck in concrete thinking,the majority of the board saw he was defending a troll,,,and when told it was a troll(the evidence was there) dismissed any comment/observation by calling it'feminist argot'....also using that term to dismiss further comments,,,,,,,but we know who looks the fool here lol.(as do others)
just an addendum,and MO,FWIW,,,T
PS. Many thanks to the men and women who mailed me with their insights and support! :> T
