Returning

by Doubtfully Yours 40 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Finkelstein

  Decades , good grief .
  

  I myself probably only a year or two.

  This religious organization was made up by men who were both ignorant and consumed into their own self empowerment which they unitized through the literature they published, which helped to establish and sustain that appealing power and control.
  

  In the engaging process to build that power and control, they lied a lot and deceived a lot, in their continuing agenda to proliferate their published works.

  Staying with this organization is belittling your own intelligence and personal integrity as an individual.

  To assume that Jehovah would approve of commercialized false prophets belittles god as well and is directly disobedient to him and his son, according to bible scripture.
  
• 

  stuckinarut2

  As my username suggests, I felt stuckinarut too....

  But once you have done the thorough research and found multitudes of mind-blowing facts about the org, its history, practices, etc, it is much easier to let go of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt) that binds you to being "active".

  Just keep your dignity and self respect as you fade at your pace... Trust me, it is a truly liberating and refreshing experience!
• 

  Doubtfully Yours

  I used to dream about fading but my relatives are heavy into it, really heavy duty involvement, Warwick and all.

  I have developed an unique coping mechanism that works for my psyche, so I will go on with it for the duration.

  Thanks for this wonderful outlet which confirms I am not alone.

  DY
• 

  freemindfade

  Start small but always be progressing away. Constant steps out. You may experience some bumps, but the further away you get the better you will feel
• 

  The Searcher

  Hey DY, nice to have you join us here. Many of us are in the same type of situation as your own, so we are your empathetic "brothers & sisters". Each of us walks at our own pace.

  The important thing is that we are on the road, then we can perhaps help others to join us.
• 

  Doubtfully Yours

  One thing I no longer do is pray. Have not done it really in over 5 years, just respectfully bow head and observe silence. Recently stopped considering the daily text, and never really study the lit for meetings, just mark it all up with color to make it look good. Also, miss a couple of meetings and service days each month, and absolutely never go preaching during the holidays.

  I do participate in as many celebrations during work hours as possible. The friends network is building up, just in case.

  Baby steps.

  DY
• 

  cognac

  My basic story is that I, being a multigenerational JW, cannot emotionally handle losing my loved ones if I walk out on this religion. So, I am making the best out of this incarceration. I can honestly say that in the congregations I am not alone so we of like minds keep each other company while enduring the misery of the Organization.

  My heart goes out to you completely. I understand the feeling so 100%....

  You have 100% right to be happy. And you get to decide what those terms are. I will not judge you. It is a very difficult position to be in and you love people that are in.

  The great thing about being out, is, you get to decice what will make you happy as a person...

  I lost some family members because of being outted and the devastation is impossible sometimes.

  You need to do what will make you happy. Period... I am happy that you have learned to think outside of the cult and maintain some sort of balance. I applaud and support you completely....

  
  

  
  

  
  
• 

  freemindfade

  One thing I no longer do is pray.

  its true, baby steps can be good. Some people are in a situation they can just cut everything in one big swoop. Everyone has different circumstances. By doing it progressively you can see the ones that will stick by you regardless (family or friends). I had a lot of family and very good friends I didn't want to alienate with an in your face DA. And you know what, as faded as I am, the good ones are still good with me. No issues.

  I stopped praying ages ago, then I stopped going out in service cold turkey, but I kept turning in a slip, for less and less hours, then one day I was like "here we go". I turned in nothing. Then meetings, I stopped attending midweek meeting. Now at the most I attend a handful of Sundays with the wife to not be a jerk. I think that is ok for now. It reaffirms to me when I am there how dumbed down this thing is.

  And like i said before there are bumps but once you pass them you will thank yourself. Just remember fear is a liar, we often create much bigger issues in our mind than happen in real life. So you are doing good just make sure you stay consistent and it will get easier and easier and you will feel better.

  A few things to keep in mind, you don't owe anyone an explanation for anything. Its your life, your beliefs and how you exercise them are up to you. They can take the pressure and rules of their joke-ass megachurch cult and shove them right up their self righteous asses. Fade and protect it. You don't need to share anything with them, you just need to show them you are happy living your life. PM me if you ever need some advice.
• 

  MisterP

  Welcome back, Like you, I also have not been on here for a while. But as someone who was DF'd 23 years ago, I can honestly look back and say it was the best thing that ever happened to me. At the time it was, of course heartbreaking, and really took me a good 6 years to undo all the brainwashing. But the point I'm trying to make is that there comes a time in life when you have to decide one way or the other. If we have a problem with our lives, and do nothing to remedy the problem, that problem will hinder any progression you wish to make, whether it be at a personal, secular, or educational level, and you will find that in a few weeks or a few months, or even a few years time, you will be right back at the same mental space that you are at now, and life will just go round in circles. Good luck
• 

  Hecce

  It must be something in the air, I am also after a couple years a returnee .

  In my case, no internal crisis. As time goes by I am more regretful of my contributions to the WT.

  I have very heavy pressure on top of me due to illness in the family and at times, I don't even feel like sharing with others.

  Thanks to all of you for being here.