*** g03 3/8 23-5 Why Do My Friends Keep Leaving The Truth? ***
YoungPeopleAsk...
Why Do My Friends Keep Leaving The Truth?
"I looked up to Stacey and treated her as a sister. We used to play bible games and study our Watchtower together. We were worked at the same shoe store. I didnt know she was having problems until one night it was announced that she was expelled from the Christian congregation. I was in shock. I couldnt believe it. She didnt tell me she was having problems. I am sure she owes me some money." - Joanne.
"Kent was my best friend. I admired him a lot. He was very likable charming, funny. When we'd eat as a family, he could have us all screaming with laughter! But he started to go on the internet. Within a few months he wrote a letter to the congregation elders saying he did not want to be a witness anymore. I dont speak to him anymore. I think he borrowed my stereo." - Don.
IT HURTS when a close friend, runs away, gets arrested, or leaves the truth and owes you something. Often you have looked up to that friend as a model. Watching that one tumble from a pedestal can be a shattering experience and what about that money you lent them? It maybe hard to get back. It may even arouse fears regarding yourself. Will this happen to me?
Resentment may be yet another powerful emotion to contend with. You resent your rebellious friend for all the hurt and pain he is causing you. "I was at a loss as to what to do, "recalls Don." I was just sick over the matter. I looked around the hall and there seemed to be no one of my age group left. I miss my stereo." You may further resent that your wayward friend has become the focus of the congregations attentionas if you no longer exist! You may even be tempted to act up a little yourself.
On the other hand, you may also feel resentment toward the congregation elders severe disciplinary action toward the rebellious one. You wonder: Did they have to be so hard on him? Did he have something on them? Some youths even secretly feel envy, wondering if they would enjoy the free life-style with no meetings or field service that their friend seems to relish. Why, then, do some former friends let us down? And how can you prevent it from unduly affecting your life?
Why
Close Friends Sometimes FailThe Bible makes it clear that all even close friends have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) And youths are particularly vulnerable to wrongdoing, as they have often not learned to control their emotions and impulses. The Bible thus says that foolishness is tied up with the heart of a boy [or, youth]. (Proverbs 22:15) So as much as their failure no doubt hurts you, there is probably no reason for you to believe that your friends wrongdoing was in any way directed at you personally.It is possible that there has been some failure on the part of his parents in their raising of your friend. Perhaps they were too lenient and failed to discipline him properly. (Proverbs 13:24; 29:15, 17) Perhaps, too, they failed in some way to set a proper example or failed to mentally regulate him. Even so, little would be accomplished by getting into bitter arguments with his parents now, attempting to pin the blame on them for your friends problems. It is likely that they will not be looked on that highly in the congregation and little good will be achieved.
How
The Elders FeelThis may help you appreciate why your friends deflection is particularly devastating to your congregations elders. No doubt they have put much time, effort, and emotion into the instruction and training of your friend. One Elder said "I personally took a keen interest in Kents development. He could handle the microphones very efficiently. I was going to teach him about car park duty. I feel very disappointed. I viewed him as one of my own and both my sons are now car park attendants. He had a great future." The Bible tells us that King David was so distraught over the rebellion and subsequent death of his son Absalom that he temporarily lost his balance and could do little more than cry out: My son Absalom! Absalom my son, my son! (2 Samuel 19:4-6) Likewise the Elders will no doubt cry out at the loss of young ones in the congregation. Kents Book Study Conductor said, " I must admit it , it kept me up all night. I had to re-organise the book study groups. It can be a time consuming business. Kingdom Hall cleaning is another thing that needs to be looked at. Some groups have to join together now. People should think about that before leaving."
Will
I Do the Same Thing?This question greatly concerns many youths, especially if they find themselves a bit curious about the freedom their former friend is tasting. Not going to meetings, not going on the field ministry, enjoying worldly celebrations and a promiscuous lifestyle may sound good, but is it really?
First of all, realize that while you may have looked up to your friend, you are still responsible before the Elders to do what is right. If one knows how to do what is right and yet does not do it, it is a sin for him, says James 4:17. (Compare Galatians 6:5.) To envy the seeming freedom he or she now has is sheer foolishness but tempting. The psalmist Asaph felt such envy himself for a while. But after carefully examining the outcome for rebellious sinners, he concluded that such ones were on slippery grounda heartbeat away from disaster! (Psalm 73:18) You do not need to experience wrongdoing personally to know how good it is.Galatians 6:7, 8.
Realize, too, that what your friend does in no way predicts what you will do. As Stacey (quoted at the outset) put it: Im not going to do what my friend did. Im nothing like her. Were separate persons. Ive got over the money loss now. If it means having no one of my age group to hang with - so be it.
Consider, for example, the Bibles account regarding Joseph. Not one of Josephs ten older brothers provided Joseph with a good example to imitate. Yet Joseph did not let their poor example influence him. He showed a devotion to righteous principles and became one singled out from his brothers to receive many privileges and blessings.Deuteronomy 33:16; Genesis 49:26. You also will receive many privileges and blessings. Jehovahs organisation holds out endless prospects particularly as more people leave. Now Kent has left I get to do the microphones enthused Don, I have been told that I am progressing well and that soon I will be on car park duty.
You can likewise endeavor to become an example to the few faithful ones that are left in speaking, in conduct, in love, in faith, in chasteness, regardless of the course your friend has taken. (1 Timothy 4:12) Your faithful efforts may even move your friend to straighten out his or her own life, however unlikely that seems.
Learn From Their MistakesTry to gain some benefit from this difficult situation. Did your friend, for example, seek out bad associationsyouths who use bad language, take drugs, abuse alcoholic beverages, or engage in immoral conduct or go on the internet? (1 Corinthians 15:33) Perhaps you need to take a closer look at those you associate with and whether you are using your free time just for yourself.
Think, too, about the way your friend responded to counsel from the elders. Was he argumentative, stubborn, rebellious, rational? If so, do you find yourself occasionally questioning the elders or dragging your feet when it comes to carrying out what they ask you to do? Do you think they are stupid and are just trying to control you? Could you be more conscientious about being a publisher. Could you reach out to be a ministerial servant or elders wife? It will not be easy, but you may survive this sad experience and perhaps see some good come out of it. In the meantime, never lose hope that your friend will realize the error of his or her way and take steps to change. (Compare Luke 15:11-24.) Never forget that while friends may let you down, the Watchtower will never leave you nor by any means forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5) Loyalty to the Organisation must therefore come first. Your desire to please the elders will motivate you to live a clean and chaste lifeeven when a beloved friend has chosen to do otherwise and there are few people of your age group left at the hall.
[Footnotes]Some of the names have been changed.
[Pictureonpage24]A rebellious friend may have a good career now but what good will that do when he dies of old age? ISP
Edited by - ISP on 15 February 2003 8:27:9
Edited by - ISP on 15 February 2003 8:54:13