Im always afraid

by BlackWolf 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • BlackWolf
    BlackWolf
    Lately I don't know what to believe. People tell me all sorts of different opinions. I seem to feel a constant feeling of dread and anxiety. The possibility of god existing scares me but so does the possibility of him not. I want to move on with my life but I just can't. I'm 16 so my parents still force me to go to the meetings and out in service. As time goes by my mental health just seems to be spiraling more out of control and being forced to go do jw crap just makes it worse and worse. I just want to feel like I have a stable future but it all just seems so impossible. I think about death often, how easy it would be to just slip away. I need help. I can't live like this.
  • Village Idiot
    Village Idiot

    Ask your parents if they can get a therapist for you. If not try some way of getting one. Don't tell your parents about your doubts just the therapist.

    Whatever you do, don't sacrifice yourself. That will only give a victory to the Watchtower.

  • BlackWolf
    BlackWolf
    Thank you
  • Village Idiot
    Village Idiot
    BlackWolf, you've got a PM.
  • LV101
    LV101
    Ask to see the school psychologist -- they're onboard to help.
  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    Hello. please tell an adult that you trust and let them help you, not a jw. if you have a regular doctor or another sensible adult irl please confide in them. Someone like Flipper could probably help with background on the org that would enlighten anyone who is assisting you and help to understand the implications of your seeking help outside your family/spiritual circle.

    Don't be afraid. If there is no God, no worries. If there really is a loving God in the universe, he has enough sense to know you are young and struggling and figuring things out. I am a believer in a merciful god. I know there are many who do not but how you believe is something that will evolve more than monkeys as you grow and learn in life. Don't focus on how you believe about God-it doesn't change whatever the reality is. Focus on what you want out of your life (next 80 years or so) and think of how to best achieve your goals for family, education, career. Not just until you are 18, but until you are at least 96. Your choices now all build up to the results. You need to make sure that you are not spending the next 80 years living the life others choose for you-make choices for yourself and the family you want, the life you want. Do it in an honorable way because what we do counts for more than what we "believe".

    If your parents have anything worthwhile in them, I hope they will help you.

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    LV101-my son's school doesn't even HAVE a real counselor. They just give you referrals to county or state agencies. He is actually in a generally excellent district, but the schools are not what they once were.

    It is a great suggestion for those who actually have that access and I would hope that our young friend can fiind some good compassionate help from someone who knows and cares about him IRL. No matter how much his folks love him, their choices are hurting him now and their attitude about mental health will just exacerbate the present issue.

  • BlackWolf
    BlackWolf

    Thank you all for your advice.

    P.S. I'm a girl

  • Simon
    Simon

    Doing more research and study into religions and their origins really can put your mind at rest. You see that they are man made inventions or stories to explain the unexplained that got out of hand or taken over by the power-mad. Look at the origins of modern "religions" like Scientologists and then imagine how the current major world cults got their start in the same way. Remember - people never change even when the times do.

    It really does put your mind at ease that there is no man-in-the-sky looking down and judging you. Are you afraid of Voldemort? No? Then you have nothing to fear from any 'god'. Just another invention of man.

  • jhine
    jhine

    Black Wolf , I'm not sure that sifting through more "facts" and overloading yourself with more information will help right now. That seems to be the cause of your problems in the first place .

    As already pointed out you are very young , just at the start of life , you have a long time to figure the meaning of life stuff out . You are at the age when lots of things are going on internally , you are trying to figure out who you are , , developing sexually , which is often enough to cope with on it's own ! .

    Try to calm down and follow the advice to talk to a doctor or if possible a counselor . Anxiety is a normal part of being a teenager , it will pass when your hormones have settled down .

    Just find someone , not a JW , to talk to . There is a big wide , wonderful world out there waiting for you .

    Jan

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