Oops. I'm just so used to those links being there that I didn't notice they were GONE!
OK, have you been to watchtower.observer.org yet? That's a good one...
I just can't do it!!!
by WantTheTruth 15 Replies latest jw experiences
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Valis
This one is easy...dude...show her the info listed on this page and explain to her that this is how she gets treated by her own people, and what makes her think you choose to do the same? BTW, welcome to the board....
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
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concerned mama
Hi WantTheTruth,
My teenage daughter and her JW ex-boyfriend rehashed those same issues head over a couple of weeks a short time ago by e mail. He was convinced that still had a future together, and she KNOWS they don't. Of course, since she is still fond of him there was a lingering hope that she could shake his faith in the WT, and I rather suspect that he feels that if she would only find "the truth" she would once again be part of his life and all their problems would be solved. I would say that it was really a mutual conversion attempt, she to "free" him, he to "save" her. It wasn't done out of malice, rather the leftover affection of a long relationship.
It became extremely heated. When what she said made sense to him, he changed the subject. They went from "obey, submission and headship" through "child abuse" and finally hit the wall over "blood transfusions". She used the scenario that if they had married, had a child, and the child hit by a car and was bleeding internally. She told him he had to think for himself and not use whatever some Professor in a Blood Video said, because the doctor was the one treating the child, not some guy in a video. The imaginary doctor in ER said "Let us give the child blood or we will lose him in the next 5 minutes." My daughter asked her ex-bf if he was there with the child would he say "yes or no". After slipping and sliding and trying to avoid answering, he couldn't say "yes". She told him that he let their child die. He freaked and got very angry with her. He said that the answer she wanted him to give went against everything he had been taught his whole life. He couldn't take that step.
I suspect you will find some of the same things. When you can show her things that are wrong with the "organization" she will change the subject or become angry with you. There won't be logic in her reasoning. Unless by some chance she is ready to hear it, those mind shutters come down the closer you are to getting her to touch reality. You will likely be hitting your head on a brick wall. Maybe for your own sense of closure you have to do it.
She left the computer and walked over to me and said with disgust "He seems so normal in person!." One great thing came out of all that "discussion". She had become very upset and stressed about all this bickering and his lack of understanding of reality. She told me he made some comments about how he didn't like the person she was becoming, too strong and assertive, and made some cracks about her family. She FINALLY decided there was no point in having someone in her life who was making her so miserable and physically sick and it was time to get some control, so she cut him off completely. She needed to hear his self righteous strange beliefs right from him, not a guess about them from just a forum or her mother, but in doing so it gave her the strength to see him as he really is.
It is the healthiest thing for both of them, to finally get over each other, to heal and move on. I hope that the same good things happen to you.
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concerned mama
....since I can't edit,
Change "disgust" to "disgust and great sadness" in the second last paragraph.
They had been close friends, and it is always sad to lose a friend.