by wednesday 21 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
I am really curious about what causes a child molester to feel the way they do for a young human being, when it repulses most people. How do they develop such an illness, and is there anything which could prevent that? Is it genetic mental illness, or environmental?
RCat
Roaming Feline,
That's an interesting point I've wondered myself. The only thing I can come up with is, that most molestors are victims of molestation themselvs. Molestation ALWAYS makes a trusting child feel betrayed and out of control. Perhaps as an adult, it's that predatory feeling with a child that makes THEM feel in control again. It may be sub-conscious or whatever, but most addictive behaviors are really born out of not feeling in control enough. Bulimia/Anorexia/Overeating - controlling how you look and feel. Drugs/Alcohol - controlling how you feel. Sexual addictions - feeling in control of your WHOLE life by controlling your sexuality.
Just my $.02,
Andi
having sex introuduced at a young age can tend to confuse a child about 'feelings" and casue them to mix up love, friendship and family feelings. it all gets rolled together. Sometimes young women and men will become promiscuious (sp) after being violated at an young age, b/c everything "feels" like sex-b/c they were confused originally with love and sex.
Pedophiles are never cured
Forgive my cynicism but I was born in Missouri and my attitude towards pedophilia being cured or controlled is "SHOW ME". My experience is that these "people" will say anything, do anything to continue their pursuit of their sexual targets. Realize how mentally unbalance, how insane one must be to do this. I am not condoning ever hitting a child, but if you've ever had children, sooner or later they will do something that makes so angry that you could imagine hitting them. Again, I'm not advocating or condoning it but my point is it's not that hard to visualize actually striking a child. Now then, imagine the place you have to go to mentally to look at that same child and find them erotic; or find them as sexually desirable as say, Jennifer Lopez or that model on the Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover, or Ben Affleck, etc. etc. That is what a pedophile does. And that's not even addressing the whole power and violence aspect of child abuse. That is how incredibly warped their mind is and they know how warped they are. But they will prey on people's naivete, trust or compassion to get what they want.
I do not believe this guy. I hope he's sincere and I think he did a service to society by appearing on Oprah, but my gut tells me he still has the same desires that he did before. It's a bit like swimming with sharks, isn't it? 9 times out of 10 that shark will not attack, but what about the 10th time? How sure are you? How much do you even want to trust that shark? I believe 100 years from now pedophilia will be a crime that will have a mandatory life sentence. My point is that they do not get cured and all this talk about managing the "disease" obscures the question of what happens if they slip? If an alcoholic slips, and gets drunk, he will probably not hurt anyone. Not so with pedophilia. If a pedophile slips, he not only hurts a child, he devastates that child and alters their life forever.
What causes it? I believe when a child is sexually abused there are three long term responses: 1) denial; the child does not have the mental and emotional resources to deal with the event (especially if the rapes continue) and so denies to itself what happened. The child grows up still denying anything happened. These are the majority of child abuse victims and these are the types of people who put their own children in tremendous risk because they never dealt with what happened and so are vulnerable to offenders. 2)victims; this is the second largest group. These are the children who take in on an emotional, psychological and physical level the horrors of abuse. However, this group is the also the strongest. In a dysfunctional family there is always one child, usually the best and brightest, that the family will place their hopes and fears upon and expect this child to champion the family and make the family look good. When the victim grows up, this is the person who seeks help, goes into recovery and comes out the other side a whole person. 3) offenders; this is the vast minority of children. These are the children who see the power of the pedophile and instead of being repulsed (like the victim) are attracted to it. Why? Because this child feels out of control or of being controlled by an adult, so instead of facing it and conquering (as a victim does) this child seeks to attack other children as a way to compensate. They feel out of control, so they become controlling to deal with it. These are the people who grow up to become pedophiles. It begins with harming animals, then small children around them. Pedophiles are self-centered, selfish and extremely narcissistic. They do not care about anyone's feelings but their own. In therapy they are only interested in talking about what was done to them; they have no interest in what they have done to others.
This is a big reason why pedophilia cannot be cured. One must get past their own self-centered ego-centric selfishness.
Peace,
Chris
I saw this show and it was very good. Anyone with a deep dark secret that is open & up front about it, would limit their opportunities. The more people that know, and I don't just mean reading about it in the newspaper, but by the guy being honest as soon as possible is a good thing. Means he knows it's wrong and wants checks in place.
One thing I noticed was that Oprah had a hard time looking at this guy or commenting with any sympathy. (She was abused herself when she was young) She asked him if people ever acted repulsed or disgusted when he admitted his past. His answer was no but it was just the way she asked it.
It may be sub-conscious or whatever, but most addictive behaviors are really born out of not feeling in control enough.
Good point. We know the WT has a list of over 23,000 abusers that have been reported in house.
How much control does a JW have in their own life as a member of this society? I think this is a an issue. These crimes are about power.
It is not at all unusual for one of the first s/s of sexual abuse jin a child to be inappropriate sexual behavior with other children, excessive mastrubation, or openly mastubating in front of others. children who are stimulated sexualy at an early age, often confuse sexual feelings wijth other feelings. it isn't ther fault. they need help. we have to help children while they can still be helped. before it is too late.
The way I feel about it now: no matter HOWMUCH therapy he gets; no matter how much support he gets: he is still going to offend again. This sickness can't be changed. It's part of his hard wiring. We can continue to spend billions of dollars to rehabilitate them..but I guess it comes down to one thing, really: Should our child molestors, after having spent their time in prison, be considered rehabilitated? You have to consider: MOST child molestors will spend only a few years in prison then they'll regain a life and reoffend again. The VICTIMS, however, will be subjected for the rest of their lives to a life full of shame, guilt, etc. Not a fair trade. Lock em all up and throw away the key.
CG
if u want to know who is a sexul offender in your own zip code, type in a search engine
sex offender your state
tthen click on the url-probably 2n done form top.(was when i looked it up)It will say "sex offenders'
it will pull up a screen, u can type in a nae, if u have it, jor if u just want jto know who in your zip code is an offender-just type in your zip code. make sure u leave the selections for sex-as in male/femle-all race-all etc. it pulls up all kinds of crimes-rapits, child molesters etc. There is a lot living near me, SCARY.
i just called my dgt. inlaw , to tell her about the sex offender public list. of course these are only convicted cases. if someone is just charged-not sure if it would show. Also, for everyone who is on list, think how many get away with it. There were 2 women in may area, both charged with indecency with a child, . the children ages, 14,15, wow.
I'm with Big Tex on this one....but do I believe it's possible to stop offending? Absolutely. Remove the molester from access to any victims, and that's the only way you can guarantee it won't happen again.
Unless you have been upclose & personal with a molester, people just don't realize actors aren't the only ones that are contenders for an Academy Award. I believe some are so good at it, that, also like actors, they get lost in their roles...compartmentalize and separate from their actions.
Even though the public has known my father was a molester for decades, you wouldn't believe the amount of children he's had access to (including a new batch of offspring)!
I'm not about revenge...I'm about education, self-empowerment. Those are the true enemies of child molesters.
