My sister called me!!!

bluesapphire

I've been meaning to post this but have been busy with the new baby. It's pretty funny.

Background: I'm not df or da but my jw sister who I brought into the religion has shunned me for over a year. According to her she is disciplining me so I'll go back to the meetings.

A few weeks before I had the baby my family gave me a baby shower. It was at my dad's (where my jw sister lives). I sent her an invitation on purpose just to not oblige her by following Watchtower rules. Anyway, this put her on the spot since she couldn't tell the family, "I am being persecuted. she didn't invite me." Too bad so sad!

Anyway, everyone kept giving her a hard time because the shower was not a birthday or holiday and they know how many jw related "gatherings" she goes to. So she went out and bought the baby a gift but didn't stay for the shower. Had to give a good witness I guess. Here's the hilarious part:

While I was in the hospital my whole family came to see the baby. Everyone kept asking her if she was planning to see the baby. She was put on the spot big time. So one evening she calls me up and speaks to me (a dead person according to her) and says, "I don't mean to upset you but I wanted to know if I could come and see the baby. Also, the elders are trying to contact you."

So since I knew she wanted me to say "No you can't see the baby if you shun me." I decided to call her bluff. I said, "Of course you can see my baby. But you will have to come up to my room and pick me up and wheel me downstairs to the NICU since no one is allowed in there without the parent's permission. And btw, I absolutely do not want to be contacted by any elders so do not give out my address."

Well, now she's in a catch 22. Here I adamantly refuse to talk to any elders, show no sign of "repentance", yet allow her to see the baby only she has to TALK to me and SPEND TIME with me and actually HELP me by wheeling me downstairs. LOL!!!

What does she do? Well, she says, "All right I'll be there at such and such."

Well, later on I find out it's not convenient time so I call her and she has to talk to me again on the phone -- talking to a dead person imagine that!

Well, we make arrangements but what does she do? She tries to go to the NICU by herself. And I had already tipped the nurses off so they wouldn't let her in. They told her she had to come upstairs and get the mother in order to see the baby. So she comes upstairs to my room and tries to shun me. LOL again!

So I ramble on and on about the baby and how cute he is and how he has her hair and eyes, etc. And I talk about this and that and she is forced to listen to me while she pushes my wheelchair. LOL LOL LOL

So we get there and she is overwhelmed with the baby. (totally unexpected since I know she initially did this just so she could say to the family that I wouldn't let her come by.) Anyway, she is gushing. I get tears in my eyes. We had this special connection. She holds him, looks at his huge feet and starts to laugh. Begins to soften up. Really great moment. Then she hardens up again, puts the baby back and wheels me back upstairs. Then she asks if she can spend time with my other girls. I said, "Sure, just give me a call."

The irony of it all is that she wants to pretend I'm dead but has to go THROUGH MY DEAD CORPSE to spend time with my kids. And boy is she in for it with my girls because they know what to say to a JW who tries to convert them. This is all too great.

Anyway, now when I send emails about the baby I include her addy. She shuns me but I know she likes it. It's actually some communication after over a year. Isn't it wonderful!

lisavegas420

First Congradulations on the new baby!

Second, you are so very fortunate to have your sister come by. I hope the relationship will be able to continue.

Lisa

gsx1138

Very good story. That is hilarious. My parents gave up shunning me when my daughter came into this world. They even came to her birthday party. I warned them ahead of time what was going on and they even brought a present.

Maybe you should start calling your sister John Edward since apparently she can talk to the dead.

blondie

Bluesapphire, there is a new CO in my area who said at the circuit assembly that the unbaptized mates of the JWs in the organization were corpses. That they were kissing corpses. That any one dating an unbaptized person was dating and kissing a corpse. That anyone not a dedicated, baptized JW was a corpse. Maybe she has been listening to him.

It is a judging, judgmental thing. People feel so good when then make themselves better than someone else.

Blondie(not a corpse either)

jgnat

I love the way you gently, firmly put your sister on the spot. I am glad you can see the sham of her resistance, that there is a genuine person hiding in there somewhere dying to be normal. Good for you. And love your baby to bits.

TheStar

Blue,

Congratulations on the baby! Great story, thanks for sharing. You went about it perfectly.

I hope the communication between you and your sister will increase in the future.

May I ask how old your other daughters are and what exactly you have taught them to say to JWs? I'm curious.

Swan

Oh what a great story! Congratulations on the baby! It looks like you have found a chink in her armour. You didn't stoop to her level and she couldn't keep up the act. She obviously still has feelings for both you and your children. Exploit those as much as you can in her next visit. Keep talking about old times about when you were both kids. Nostalgia is a very strong emotional weapon and I use it whenever I communicate with my family.

Tammy

bluesapphire

Thanks for the congrats! I DO love my baby to bits. Never been happier.

Ironically, that's what my sister sees as well. That I left and that I'm happy.

The thing is that she regrets starting the shunning. I know she thought that she would only have to do it for a short while and that I would go back to meetings. She didn't stop to think it was for the long run. Now she wishes she never started it, especially since I am not df or da and the elders have for whatever reason refused to address our "apostasy." So really, she has no basis to continue doing it and is probably looking for an excuse to stop.

I don't mind. I will play her game by MY rules. I have a feeling that it wont be long and we'll be communicating again. Tomorrow I'll see her at a family gathering. It's a surprize party for my brother in law who is graduating college. My sister tried to decline the invitation stating that she couldn't go if I was invited. That didn't sit well with the fam and she heard an earful. My other sister told her, "I used to have respect for JWs but your behavior disgusts me!" So now she's stuck.

Another good thing is that she lives with my dad and whenever my husband and I go visit she has to go to her room. It's too funny. The rest of the family goes to her room to talk to her and more than one person has mentioned how rediculous it is. Now how is she going to explain that she talked to me to go see the baby? Yet she shuns me when I'm in her house? Doesn't make sense. She's going to have to give up the shunning.

But I'll help her save face. And I'll make sure everyone else does too. We dont' ever have to discuss that it ever happened. I love her to bits and do not want to humiliate her.

Star, my girls are 13, 11 and 11 (twins). They lived the JW lifestyle for the six years I was involved. They were there when I sucked my sister in. They remember how close we were our whole lives. And they see how the JWs have destroyed that relationship. From their own accord they want nothing to do with the religion -- not because of anything I've ever said or done -- but because of what they themselves have witnessed.

My 13 year old has said, "Mom, what if she got married and didn't invite you and dad? I wouldn't want to go either!" And then we turned it around and I said, "What about when you get married? Are you going to invite her?" And she said, "Why should I when she doesn't come to see us anymore and is not in our lives?"

So the kids have been affected. All they have to do is communicate their own experience and any JW would be hard pressed to defend what they have lived. My sister would have no reply to any of what they say because she knows the truth about it.

That's all I've taught my kids to do is speak the truth from their own experience and through their own choice of words. Like they have told me, "Mom, even if the 'new system' was true, we wouldn't want to live there with those people!" Out of the mouths of babes. Love speaks volumes and LACK OF LOVE speaks even louder!

Urpi

Blue,

Congratulations on your baby! A new baby in the family is the best.

I have 2 jw sisters on my own and they know everything but we still talk to each other like always. They go to the kh every week because they think the association with the brothers is better than being by themselves. I am sure your sister loves you very much but she is very confused now. I hope that this baby will be the one to get you both together again.

Urpi

SloBoy

Dear Blue,

Congratulations on your new baby boy. Makes me think of my sweet little nephew. Loved to "chew" on that "chunky chicken",anyway..........Something struck me while reading your experience. I am Da'd, so am familiar with shunning. It bothered me at one time, but I now see many of them as victims. Your sister could be in a very fragile condition even though she might not show it. Seems she is getting a lot of flak for her stance on a number of fronts. Did you say that you "brought her" into the religion? She probably still loves you very much, but perhaps is recuperating from what she see's as another turn in your life. I try to give people some slack over the way they treat me based on my past conduct. I've changed and hopefully my new life will give them a basis for a different relationship with me. You probably know this already, but go easy as is possible on her.Just my two cents. May all your children be safe and healthy.

My sister called me!!!

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