truthseeker, yes be true to yourself. I`m sorry that happened to you with your father it is disgraceful.
For those of you that are disfellowshipped, How Far Would Your Faithfull JW Family Go To Stay Loyal to The WT?
by John Aquila 20 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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truthseeker100
Thanks Sabin. I try to stay on the sunny side of life but there are times when I have to wipe the occasional tear when I get thinking about all I've been through. I hate this cult!! -
writerpen
So sorry to hear about your struggle. I'm in a similar situation. Been dflshipd for nearly 15 years. The confusing thing is that my parents' degree of shunning changes. Sometimes it's a very hard line; other times it's not as hard core. My sister, though, will stay in touch.
I agree with a previous post. My parents were abusive and never loved us like normal parents. I've talked about this in therapy and came to the conclusion that my father is hiding behind the church's veil of shunning so that he doesn't have to confront what he did to us. My sister and I love each other, so that is probably why she keeps in touch.
What I find perplexing is that after being out for nearly 15 years, it's just now starting to hurt internally.
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LisaRose
n DF JW relatives especially start sending easter bunnies and christmas cards, and calls on birthdays, and talk to children and grandchildren or JW relatives against JW, it gets to the point where JW does not want to deal with DF JW at all, but for those reasons and not because they are DF.
Do you actually know of anyone who has done that are you just speculating? I know of no ex JW who would do that, since most want to keep some semblance of a relationship with their Jw family and are sensitive to their beliefs, even if they no longer share them.
I saw my mom a few months before she passed away. She allowed me to see her, but I couldn't stay at her house. When I got home she sent me a letter saying she couldn't talk to me anymore as she wanted to die "with a clean conscience before Jehovah". I was not told when she went to the hospital. She died a few days later.
What kind of screwed up religion would make a mother feel she couldn't talk to her own daughter, even when she was dying in a hospital? There is no way my mom would have shunned me without the influence of the Watchtower. I would have loved to be with her at the end, to hold her hand and tell her I loved her. I will never have that and all because I simply chose not to be a Jehovah's Witness.
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truthseeker100
writerpen:The confusing thing is that my parents' degree of shunning changes. Sometimes it's a very hard line; other times it's not as hard core.
I experienced similar behavior myself. I think in my case it was probably because of advice given from the local body of elders in a vain attempt to coerce my return to the flock.They probably thought they would be able to come between me and my family. I was never a victim of sexual molestation or anything like that but in my case there were other things that I think there were factors that influenced my parents egregious behavior. I will disclose them someday.
Why does it appear to hurt more now? In my case it's because the pressure is off me and I have time now to reminisce about previous events. No professional therapy on my end its all just self analysis. There is an old saying about a man that felt sorry for himself because he had no shoes until he met a man who had no feet! Then he realized he didn't have it that bad after all. It's the way I try to envision things its all just a matter of perspective.
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John Aquila
LisaRose
I'm sorry you had to go through that. My heart feels for you. You also remind me how dangerous this cult is.
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Marvin Shilmer
There are members of my family who I think would be willing to stone a person to death if Watchtower doctrine dictated it and it were legal to do so. And, why wouldn't there be? Religiously inspired capital punishment has a long-held tradition among humankind, and in some societies is practiced to this day. -
Vidiot
"For those of you about to be disfellowshipped... we salute you." -
JWdaughter
My mom shunned me because I put something about WT (and Muslim and CAtholic and Baptist etc) responses to child abuse in their religions on my FB page. It was critical of religious responses to child abuse in institutional settings. It wasn't about rejecting God, it wasn't a rejection of Jesus. It wasn't critical of faith, it was criticizing MEN in charge.
She objects to any criticism of the organizational practices. NO MATTER WHAT. She shuns me for that, not for immorality, not for rejecting God, not for dishonesty, not for immodesty or drunkenness or drug abuse.
she is now trying to stay in touch(her typical trying to move out of HER shunning mode and keep face) and I am now keeping it to necessary family business. I have no desire to mess with that crap anymore. She can't just say she is sorry for anything, she can't ADMIT that anything the WT told her to do is wrong. I'm not playing anymore. I respond politely and briefly to her communications. I almost softened up a couple of times but I decided that this is not dementia related, it is just JW related hatefulness and I'm not letting her run my life anymore. She pulled that crap when I was going through hell on every part of my life with my kids, my husband, my ex, jobs, money and poor health(on several fronts) . She knew most of it and still pulled that. That is NOT love. And it was the straw that broke it for me. I can survive all of that-but I DON'T have to add any extra stressors to my already complicated life. If those 7 men in Brooklyn matter more than I do. If they can do ANYTHING with impunity. . . well, I don't have a mother.
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Scully
One of the things that scared the crap out of me when I was a kid growing up in a JW home, was the thought that if one of my siblings or I ever needed blood transfusions to save our lives, our parents wouldn't bat an eye and would willingly sacrifice us on the WTS's NO BLOOD altar.