1st month of fading (page 2)

Jrjw

It's getting arder to stay quiet when people are talking about the meetings and my husband who I'm separated from keeps talking about reconciling coz its what Jehovah wants and expects. I wanna tell him everything Ive learned and tell him he has been brainwashed but i know i have to keep quiet til I'm inactive coz he'll be straight to elders repeating what ive said thinking he's "saving" me then I'll get harassed off him and them. He'll start saying im killing our son and my daughter by not being a witness. He's done it before when I've said I dont want to be a witness over the last couple of years. I didn't know then all the lies I know now though about the organisation. He'll try every form of emotional blackmail he can think of

flipper

I agree with Wasanelderonce. In my opinion the best way to exit the JW's is to just either fade quietly or stop cold turkey without any bells and whistles. If you're going to stop attending meetings anyway- what would be the reason to transfer any " publisher record cards " ? All that does is put you on the radar of the elders in your new congregation and they'll come knocking on your door - bugging you.

I understand the wanting to maintain friendships thing- however- once you stop attending meetings - you are going to find out who your true and real friends are anyway. As you exit JW organization you need to surround yourself with supportive friends who will have your back- not conditional friends who will stomp on you at the drop of a hat, or the drop of your meeting attendance. Sounds like your daughter is supportive of you, and that's a great start.

We are here as well in support of you, so if you ever need to communicate via E-mail or telephone, my wife and I offer our friendship as well. Hang in there, I know it's tough, many of us have dealt with this, it's all part of escaping the control of the WT Society regarding every aspect of your life. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Jrjw

Thank you flipper

Pubsinger

Is your daughter that knows a JW?

If you're moving, don't give your correct address. Boom. Gone.

Ah I just saw your post on page 2 about being separated from your husband. So he could give your address.

Jrjw

Will just disassociate myself if they pester me then they can't come near me lol just need to make some non witness friends where I'm moving first

Vanderhoven7

Change your phone number when you move. I'm assuming you have a cell.

If the elders do not know your new address or phone number they will only be able to contact you at work or by email.

Don't be afraid to tell your husband where he stands with you e.g. that you would rather go to prison than be reconciled to him. No use rehashing the details as to why...or putting blame...you can just say because we just dont get along.

If hubby continues to play the Jehovah wills card tell him that you are sure Jehovah understands and will work things out in his time.

Jrjw

My dad has offered to be a go between by text with him to arrange when he comes to visit. Although letting him contact by email might be better coz he'll hang himself for court in his emails lol

Vanderhoven7

Excellent. Certainly let him hang himself. If you feel he is harassing you by email.... label it as such repeatedly. Politely shun him I.e. don't respond to any nonessentials in your emails. I think arranging visitation with your dad is a great idea.

Why you are not attending services is nobody's business but your own. With elders everything should be relegated to personal and private issues which you do not wish to discuss.

Wishing you the best in your fade and separation.

Jrjw

Thanks vanderhoven7. He's been nasty the last few days coz he's learning he can't control me now

Vanderhoven7

He's been nasty the last few days coz he's learning he can't control me now.

Yes...and his anger signals your victory over his controlling behavior. If you haven't changed your cell number yet (to an unlisted number), and he can still contact you by phone, you might ask him to stop calling you unless there is an emergency and to contact your Dad for everything else. Let the shunning begin even before you make your move.

1st month of fading

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