Did The Elders Seem Eager To Disfellowship You?

minimus

Did you ever feel that the elders just wanted you out? In your experiences with the elders, did you feel "love" displayed at the judicial meeting, or did you sense that you were dealing with, the star of DRAGNET,"Just the facts, please."? In all the years that I was an elder, I think I only WANTED to disfellowship a person once. (It was for apostasy ). However, during the other times I was on judicial committees, and there were more than you might believe, I remember mostly sticking by the elder's "Pay Attention" rulebook, reading and re-reading "signs" to look for as to whether somebody is really repentant or not.....So, when you were "in the backroom", did you feel the "love" of the shepherds or did you feel the judgment of the judges?

mouthy

I wasn't in the back room- I was in my home( seniors home) they came to me & asked me why I didn't believe Jesus came invisibly in 1914...They offered to study with me so I did believe it. Then I said I had read Rays book. Thats when they asked me if I believed they were the Faithful & discreet slave- I said if you DF me I will know your not- I was DF two weeks later- So they answered my question.I was devasted. But if there are any lurkers of the WTower on here. I am so happy to be free- I must thank the Borg for helping me quit smoking.quit swearing, quit screwing around, But I have learned others help "sinners" do that also. I didnt have to slave labour- get beaten - raise my kids in a war zone- All I had to do was ask Jesus Christ to be my friend. He is!!!!! No I dont believe in religion----- A relationship is good enough for me ....Ducking from the unbelievers -even some of my adopted Grandkids on here But I love you ALL SOOOOOOOOO much......

RAYZORBLADE

Honestly? NO

Despite why I was at the Judicial Committee in the first place, when I devulged to them what was going on, despite their shock, they were truly concerned and wanted me to repent.

There were...maybe 4 or 5 elders, I can't remember exactly, but I do recall one elder was so concerned. He even gave me a lift to the subway giving me his number and asking me to call him etc., and another older elder, would write to me (I didn't tell them where I lived, I used a p.o. box) to encourage me to come back.

Eventually, I just didn't read the letters and had them RTS (Return To Sender). There was one elder in the bunch who was not particularly loving, but that was only one. He was a stuffy old pompous guy. The rest, were caring, despite their shock.

Minimus, I would not say they were eager to get rid of me. But oh well...that was a long long time ago.

I'm still forever glad that I left.

rebel

The elders in my cong have always hated me. They feel my husband would be better off with a real, spiritual woman. Thay only visit to have a go at me - they really dislike me because I am too outspoken for them. I think, if I was DF'd or DA'd, they would encourage hubby to find someone else. I know it would be unscriptural, but, reading between the lines, they have always implied I am holding him back.

I know if I continue to stay away from meetings, it won't be long before they visit to make me decide one way or another. I have got to the stage where I don't really care - it's just I have family and friends in the org and I'd hate to be cut off from them. I hate what this organisation has done to me and I'll never forgive whoever is behind it.

xxR

crinklestein

I say a good bitch-slapping is in order for those responsible.

NeonMadman

Not really, no.

When my ex-wife and I split up, and she was having JC meetings about her marital unfaithfulness, she told the elders in no uncertain terms that I was an apostate. They made no effort to pursue the matter, possibly because I was hardly ever attending meetings, and had never been an active JW in their congregation. All they ever did was send word through her that they were available if I wanted to talk. Naturally, at that point, I had no interest in talking with them.

Come to think of it, it's even possible that I never was a member of their congregation. I certainly never directed the elders in our previous congregation to forward my Publisher's Record Card to the new congregation, but I assumed that they had done so, since my (now ex-)wife's was transferred.

Anyway, that was the end of the matter. I never darkened the door of a Kingdom Hall again, and have never beed df'ed or da'd. Not that I care very much. Doesn't keep my old friends (with an exception or two) from shunning me, though. Rumors seem to work as well as actual announcements.

I guess it doesn't help that I had stopped going to the Hall shortly before our divorce. Since she's still in the borg, having received only a private reproof for her adultery, and I'm out, and we're divorced, the natural conclusion would be that I was the guilty party. So they shun me just to be on the safe side. Better to shun the innocent than to actually risk (horrors!) speaking with a guilty person!

Valis

No and I never understood why...They had been so eager all my life to DF and DA people around me that when I left my parents home, still baptised, they came to see me twice...never a word about getting the boot or a JC or anything...

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Sentinel

I would have to say "no". True, they wanted me to conform, and I was stubborn because I felt like I was being punnished for being human and for coming to them in the first place to "confess" that I had been with a boy I loved. They all were very condescending and the meeting was very intimidating and unloving on their part, towards a very faithful young sister--one they had known since my tender years. They were just too interested in the "details" of losing my virginity. They used their power to try to control me, and when I wouldn't fall into step, then--according to them, it was "I" who disfellowshipped myself first, because I knew the consequences. They only followed through "legally" through the commands of the Society.

Later in life, when I had a bit more knowledge and self fortitude, I decided to make my stand and declare my own independence, to walk away, and let them know why. They didn't attempt to disfellowship me after that. They didn't have any power over me, because they could find no great sin to attach to me. My mother was the one who labeled me among the members of the congregation, and so I was shunned. It did not come from an announcement by an elder from the platform. Her label for me was Apostate

FlowerPower

They hunted me down like a dog! I had left the area, I had no contact with anyone in the congregation at all. I wrote a letter saying that I had to leave for personal reasons (I had been depressed and suicidal and I sought help through psychotherapy which they discouraged) I told them that I was doing nothing wrong that I just was no laonger happy as a witness. They called my house, they came univinted, to see what I was "up" to. After a year they called to invite me to a JC, I told them that I had nothing to discuss, about a week later they called on the phone and told me of their decision to df me in absentia, I appealed because I felt I was doing nothing wrong that could warrant dfing and met before a group of 7 men! Three from my congregation and four outsiders who I was aquainted with but they did'nt know me at all. I told them at that meeting that I had come to the realization that I was gay and that I had decided to leave because I knew that I would not be tolerated among them. They read the letter at the Tuesday night meeting a week later. I found out later that they had pulled my minor child (who still attended meetings with his older brother) aside and told him to watch me closely, to spy on me and repoert to them any wrong doing on my part! He was 13! He never did report anything as there was nothing to report! They never offered any counsel to me accept that if I did stay in the congregation that I would forever have to live alone. I would never be able to share an apartment with another woman because of my "inclinations!" I am very bitter as you can tell, I had served in the cong. for 15 years, 10 of them as a pioneer and they completely cut me off when I no longer could serve their purpose! I am in a loving, committed relationship with another exjw, we've never been happier to be able to express who we are and not be made to feel ashamed!!!

sf

Ha!

I'd know if I I knew...how eager are they to re-instate me?! hahahaha!!!

What do you say TEDDY, can I come back? Will ya have me, like ya had me all those years back? I promise I will love Jehovah's Organization (your assets) and stay loyal til The End of This Wicked System of Thangs, this time. Back then I was a kid. Today I am a woman, an adult, a YES WOMAN! I pledge allegiance to The Borg!

sKally...excellent toilet washer!!...klass

Did The Elders Seem Eager To Disfellowship You?

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