How do you deal with people who do not like you?

by usualusername1 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • usualusername1
    usualusername1

    Hi guys

    In the last year I have started to socialise a lot more. Namely comedy and a tennis social club.

    For a variety of reasons I find socialising tough. In my tennis club a couple of women have been extremely rude to me and I have blocked one from my phone and refuse to speak to both.

    Is my behaviour extreme?

    Paul

  • nonjwspouse
    nonjwspouse

    I make a point of being very nice to them. Kindness kills a rude person. They HATE HATE it.

    I ,on the other hand, know I am on a level above them in my behavior, always.

    I might ask, if they were particularly rude, what I might have done to offend them.. Any others who see the interaction will know who is on the high ground, and who is the low life rude #$&*.

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    USUALUSERNAME1:

    No, I wouldn’t think your behavior is extreme depending on what went on. Sometimes people don’t like us and there is nothing we can do about it.

    In the JW religion, they thought you were going to go crawling to somebody who didn’t like you. Not me. If I knew I didn’t do anything and the person was “rejecting” me for some reason only they knew about, I ignored it. It was a manipulation tactic and I didn’t fall for it.

    Don’t be discouraged by this and just be pleasant in general. In time you’ll meet other people.

  • nonjwspouse
    nonjwspouse

    I agree with longhairgal, that you do need to try to limit how often you interact with them, but when forced to, take that high road.

    Don't accept invitations from them etc... but always show who is the most genuinely polite.

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    As witnesses, we were used to EVERYONE being our friend in the Witness circles.

    We therefore never learned the art of making real friends.

    Not everyone we meet will become our close associates - and that is ok.

  • scratchme1010
    scratchme1010

    For a variety of reasons I find socialising tough. In my tennis club a couple of women have been extremely rude to me and I have blocked one from my phone and refuse to speak to both.

    Is my behaviour extreme?

    No, they are assholes. Learn to socialize 101: You are perfectly fine in the way you are, talk and do things. Don't fall in the trap of growing insecure because of feeling not accepted socially. Those two bitches are big fat nobodies. Move on.

  • JaniceA
    JaniceA

    I think refusing to be civil is a extreme that demeans those women and makes others uncomfortable around you. We all experienced shunning and felt for the shunnned. Being civil is not pretending anything, it’s polite and part of living in civilization. If they are harassing you blocking their calls is legit and you have no obligation to take any call even if you just don’t like them. But refusing to speak in public is awkward for everyone. Not necessary. You don’t need to extend any warm fuzzies but a lax handshake will send the message without being rude

  • smiddy3
    smiddy3

    As someone in the "truth" once said to me if anybody doesn`t want to know me or talk to me I take the upper hand that I don`t want to know them or associate with them , they have the problem not me.

    And I remain with a positive attitude in life.

  • snugglebunny
    snugglebunny

    Someone doesn't like me I just assume that they have mental health problems.

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice
    UUN -
    How do you deal with people who do not like you?

    I shun them.

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