This is the issue that led me out the door at first.
My son attempted suicide out of fear of being df'd; the elders wanted to visit with him, I said no, that is not going to happen, not now or ever.
He eventually was df'd, but with support from me and sometimes my wife; the actions of the elders during that time put me out for good.
I asked them to call the society to delay the df'ing until he could see a psychiatrist; the COBE said he did, and that the society told him that 'any psychiatrist worth his salt' would see him day or night, and the df'ing would go ahead.
Of course, the society never said that; the COBE's maverick CO did; the society told me 3 times that he never called them.
That an elder could lie to me straight faced about such a thing broke my brain.
I wish your friend a speedy recovery, and that her father listens to his heart and conscience, and not the BOE.
My best day ever was when I decided that no one was going to tell me how to deal with my children, adult or otherwise.
I have never looked back.
F*** em.