I was an elder's daughter, and I can say I have seen it go both ways.
My dad wanted me to be perfect in my conduct, in other words he wanted me to do what he said, act the way he wanted me to act, say what he wanted me to say. My dad had me under so much control that I sincerely believed that he was molding me to be a better , stronger person, with all of the restrictions, punishments, whippings, and hours long talks on how important it is to be 100% pure in mind. Now note,,,,,,,I did nothing to make my dad think I had any wrong thoughts even going on in my mind until I was 17...........now that is another story.
If my dad told me to stand on a barrel , this was his example, ,,, out in our horse corral, he said he knew I would do it, and not even ask why . He told me time and time again, he knew I would never lie to him, that he would give his life believing that he could trust me not to lie, because I never lied to him. Even as a little girl, knowing how bad the whippings would be for even a minor infraction as falling asleep at the meeting, I would always tell the truth, and I always took my punishment, never cried out , or moved a hand from my side,as I got it.
When things got real bad at home, Dad was getting harder to live with ,,,,,,,,he was getting meaner and meaner, he was running a big construction company of over 60 men, I was even working for him, Mom was drugged out of her mind,,,,,,,, I started turning to my friends at school more and more. Buy then I had my own car, so i found ways to escape out of that misery. Soon I began lying just to go to see my best friend or to do anything but exactly what he told me . I did start lying to him at that time, and it tore me up inside. But I couldnt give up my new found freedom , if you can even call it that, it was stolen freedom, but still to me, it was an outlet. For the first time in my life , I started to think of what I wanted and not what my dad wanted. I knew that my disobedience, would mean that I would die in armeggedon, I was sure of it. Funny thing looking back on it, I never thought my mom and dad would die even thou they did so much worse at the time. But I was willing to die , I had almost lost the will to even live. I had a brand new Mustang and seriously just wanted to drive if off a bridge ,,,,,,,instead of living my life the way it was. I cried and prayed for Jehovah to forgive me for being a bad daughter, but I got no relief.
My story takes on an even longer chapter right after these events, most know it. But the point of this thread is ,,,,,,,,,,,like I said, some elders kids do get away with alot, some have the enormous pressure to be perfect examples in the congregation. If you as a child make a bad enough mistake , it could cost you dad his elder position. Now ,, that is alot of pressure,,,,,,if you as a kid make a mistake do you go tell your dad, and risk him losing his position, and in my case, that would have been a death sentence or do you just decide to not tell, and face death by Jehovah God himself? That is what I choose, and it was horrible,,I still get sick to my stomach thinking about the fear, the tears, the literal pain in my heart for being so bad and making both of my fathers( dad and Jah) disappointed in me. Now I see it all for what it was,,,,,,,,, I see how wrong my dad was, I see that I really did not do anything that bad to hate myself so much for. But still I remember that sickening feeling.
