SUNDAY is my 76th BIRTHDAY and I know that you want to know how it "feels" to have outlived my usefulness, to have lost my natural beauty (being reduced to wrinkles and flab), and constantly walking into a room not knowing why I'm there.
You also are curious as to how I can continue to find a reason to live since none of my kids think my opinions have any possible value, most of my Facebooks friends I wouldn't recognize if I tripped over them on my way into Starbucks, and my monthly expenditure on bird treats exceeds U.S. spending on the Military.
Finally, you simply cannot imagine how I've managed to survive a Texas grade school education, serving as an inmate in a Federal prison, and twenty years in a religious cult so strict they don't even celebrate Thanksgiving...OR
how I lived through 4 divorces, 7 kids, 5 grandkids, and the Finale of LOST, without losing my mind.
I have a core philosophy.
I maintain an absurdist point of view.
I'm tuned to the ridiculous in life.
I almost always refuse to do what I'm told is "best" for me.
I'm skeptical of ALL authority.
I prefer out-of-doors to indoors.
I crave sunshine, any cat anyplace anytime over a dog - but I love dogs -
I just can't tolerate being worshipped by one.
I secretly admire women who find me impossible. I am.
I have the best FRIENDS (true friends) on the planet although
I try to remain hidden like a hermit in a cabin in the wilderness writing my
Manifesto in squirrel's blood on a parchment.
I love writing. Poems, stories, Essays, liner notes, articles -
NOBODY READS THEM anyway!
I write music nobody wants to hear because well, I MUST.
I Love Chess but am a patzer. (Dumb-ass).
I'm incredibly curious about ALMOST everything except the things you are interested in
and insist on telling me about it.
I am going to be 76 tomorrow because my life is very, very spartan, simple, and detached from civilization.
and a few discussion groups (who'd wish me dead) are my only interface with humanity.
My health is stupefyingly perfect. I don't know why, really.
I drink a little alcohol every damn day of the year just before bedtime. I eat meat.
I don't take pills or medicine. I have no aches or pains. I don't seem to get colds or flu.
I don't know whom I loathe more: politicians or political opinions in the mouth of friends.
I try to focus on things that aren't corrupt beyond redemption.
Those aren't really your questions. I kid myself.
Just know this one thing.
I'd rather be a smartass than not be.
It's in my DNA.
Oh - and P.S. "Stop texting me adverts for erectile dysfunction.
I started an erectile dysfunction club for guys that didn't work out. It flopped and nobody came."
My parts work; it's just that tools manufactured for parts no longer made remain in the garage under oily rags.