Fink,
As a convert, from a good, reasonably normal family - I had been raised to have my questions respected and answered - and to offer the same transaction to others.
Initially, the JWs presented as having wonderful, interlocked answers .....I was told, as I bathed in this new wonderful hope, to put questions that can't be answered to the side for now, eventually the pieces will fit....even if it takes years.
I was LOVE bombed until my little heart was so full and I felt saturated.
My life and my connections expanded beyond belief .....
I quietened the disturbing gut feelings when I met yet another brother or sister whose whole mode of conversation in daily life was woodenly WT, complete with gestures, jargon words....you know the sort of thing.
I quietened the disturbing thoughts such as how could just a rejection of a magazine be the rejection of a universal Power....JWs regularly showed their distain when they turned their heel from a polite but rejecting door ('no thanks, I don't to read an article on family happiness, we're all ok here')
And then, the ongoing exposure to seriously disturbing thought patterns revealed by others, violent and dysfunctional families, depression, mental illness was and possibly is rife - too many, it was so thoroughly pervasive in every congregation I stayed at.....once the veil was lifted. This wasn't just imperfect men - something was up - and I 'covered it with love' without let up and then.....my heart lost its desire to bring anyone into this 'cage' - it wasn't safe mentally ....I couldn't ignore it any longer.
And now, after a life time of choosing 'loyalty' and trying to live a principled life - my character is trashed by the leaders.
Leaders who don't understand that I'm an adult and Christuan follower too - they do not have any right to interpret scripture for me and demand I accept it as 'new truth'.
At best, they should offer concepts and free discussion - but that's not how they wish to work. And their followers are diminished to having unauthentic expression and thought....
It is in fact the Watchtower Society who has become a division and sect by setting themselves up as the only 'channel to God'