How did you rebuild your belief systems

by happysistah 21 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Scully

  I'm with Farkel on this one.

  When you demolish a house, you need to get rid of all the rubbish before you can even start thinking about rebuilding. Once you do that, you need to examine the foundation to make sure it's sound. Once you determine whether the foundation is solid or not, you need to adjust it to the climate and conditions. Then, and only then, can you begin the process of rebuilding.

  Take this time of deconstructing your JW belief system to take care of YOU. The JWs never did, and you OWE it to yourself to do some self-examination and figure out what it is that YOU want to believe in (or not believe in, as the case may be). Learn to love and be good to yourself, and in so doing, you will learn how to truly love and be good to others. (Remember... "Love thy neighbour, as THYSELF"??)

  What you end up believing in really doesn't matter at this point. God has been around for millennia, and a couple of years either way in your case isn't going to change anything. If He's unwilling to make allowances for you, then He isn't much of a God, is He??

  Love, Scully
• 

  kat_newmas

  I spent many years studying history after I left. I had a lot of time on my hands.... Just study some good old ancient history.... you can track down the God concept thousands of years before christianity. You can see how that cultres basically "switched Gods around" and how belief systems developed.

  Start there.... then you will see how that when christianity developed... it was basically a form of control. I wont bother telling you the details... there are many many different opinions on it.

  But if you want something interesting to start with... Study the reasons why the cover of the bible says in big Gold letters.... The King James version. I mean ... everybody has their own version right? It basically came down to who had the biggest.... sword.

  I myself latched on to some of the Druidic structure of belief. Check it out... pretty thought provoking.

  Also, check out the history of Monks... it was basically sort of a way for some to remain silent, without offending the church. It became acceptable.

  ** when I say "study" I dont mean using Christian based material. You will find alot of conflicting information... Guess that is why they call it "faith". I guess you either feel a connection to the dweller of the heavens or you do not.

  Overall... you will find that the history of Religion.... has very little to do with God.
• 

  NAPPY ROOTS

  I was raised a JW. That was the only belief system I had. After I left (or should I say, got da boot), I was lost. It takes a long time to free yourself from the JW way of life because all of your time and relationships are centered around them. I was Wild and Crazy for a few years. After that, I had to learn what was important to me. After 12 years, I am still searching.
• 

  FreePeace

  Hi Happysistah,

  Check out the article "How to Reinvent Yourself After Leaving the WTS" at http://beam.to/truthquest

  FreePeace
• 

  Introspection

  Like some others I didn't try to build another belief system. I did go to college and was exposed to other ways of thinking, but this is not what was pivotal for me.

  The big thing for me was the simple realization that beliefs, like any other thoughts are not the real thing, they only refer to things which are real, at best. Thoughts are just thoughts, nothing more. Therefore, if you want to know what's true, it is not a matter of changing your mind in any way, you have to realize that your own mind is just your own mind, your own view of the world was never the real thing anyway. Most people tend to get caught up in their own way of thinking, but of course the simple fact of the matter is there is a great big world out there that is as it is whether your idea of the world is relatively close or way off base about it. Even if you have a pretty accurate view of the world, if you don't recognize this fact you'll be mistaken in the final analysis.

  See, even the belief about God falls into the same category. That's not to say there is no God, just like a distorted world view doesn't necessarily mean there is no world, but the first step is just to see it's all been just a bunch of thoughts. Thoughts, especially beliefs, are more likely to distort your view of reality than clarify it. So I guess I am just saying in my way what Farkel and maybe others have said about detoxing, clearing out your mind so you can just see clearly. The question is, do you want to know what's true or do you want something to believe in?

  So to me, it makes no sense whatsoever to build another belief system. My thinking about things will naturally change according to life experience, but I take none of it seriously and don't cling to one piece like "this is IT!" To actually build another belief system is just to build another illusion, another house of cards. It may be a better one in terms of being not nearly as dysfunctional as the WTS, but illusion is illusion. Some people are not ready to live this way, and that's fine - I make no judgements. But I think this is useful to mention and something one might just keep in the back of their mind even if you do go searching for more beliefs.
• 

  happysistah

  Thanks everyone.

  I'll keep reading, listening and pondering.
• 

  greven

  Hi happysista!

  After finding out my religion was nothing but a hoax, I started to take a critical look on everything I believed. I decided the best thing was to start from scratch. A good approach is the scientific method:

  Don't believe anything unless there is proof to substanciate it or strong clues that cannot be explained otherwise. Use logic and rational thought. Look at things from multiple sides (pro and contra). Ask questions. Accordingly, make a decent evaluation and draw your own conclusions. Any belief system that rejects scrutiny and questioning should be rejected. Do not be impressed with authority, make your own choice and do not be too proud to admit you were wrong. Better learn from mistakes than stick to it!

  I hope this helps! Good luck on your queste for truth.

  Greven
• 

  Abaddon

  Well, just don't make any assumptions, don't go too fast, do some research into cult mind control, do some research into critical thinking, and don't trust anyone.

  Other than that it's really easy...

  By assumptions, I mean that I walked away as I couldn't live my life that way. I went to University. I came to some conclusions in that process that were rather different to the ones I'd grown up with. I may not of had those assumptions challanged if I hadn't been to Uni'. You don't have to go to Uni', but you shouldn't assume (for example) that there is no such thing as the soul, or that there is a god, unless you have examined that assumption from the ground up. To do that succesfully, i.e. to avoid just reconfirming exisiting beliefs, you have to do other things too, but I'll mention those in a minute.

  Don't go to fast. You've had a big shock. Any god worth bothering about is going to know what is in your heart and give you time to sort your head out. You might need to re-build your social circle for example, otherwise solitude could make decisons for you.

  You need to understand how the JW's get you to believe what they get you to believe so well. I recommend 'Combatting Cult MInd Control' by Steve Hassain as a starter.

  Part of the control that cults exert is starving followers of real knowledge. Sometimes this is so profound that people cannot analyse a problem to anything other than the most superficial extent - not a matter of brains, a matter of knowing how. Here's a random link on Critical Thinking to get you started; http://www.sjsu.edu/depts/itl/.

  Lastly, don't trust anyone; loads of Christians will turn into really good salespeople when they find out you have suffered a crisis of faith recently, as they are well intentioned for the greatest part and think they are righter than others for the greatest point. You need to figure things out for ourself, not let someone sell you thier beliefs. Thus this advice applies to cocky scientific so-and-so's too, as they also are well intentioned for the most part and think they are righter than others for the most part.

  I know my mind, as my posts show, but I don't want to tell you what yours is...

  All the best, don't worry, life will be better than you ever thought it could be, even if that seems unlikely now.
• 

  gumby

  Do you still believe in God? Yes

  Do you think we will get resurrected? I don't know

  Do you believe in Christianity? Absolutely not!

  It's hard to build a belief system that hinges on something you have never seen or heard.

  Gumby
• 

  gitasatsangha

  Hello Happysistah:

  I will answer your questions like gumby did. Gumby, I am stealing your format. Sorry.

  Do you still believe in God?:

  Absolutely, but now more in the Nondual sense. God is infinie, so it is said by most religions. So the universe is part and parcel of god. That makes use divine too, incidentally. Some prefer to worship a god with form, and others tend to worship god in the abstract. However God is seen more clearly in some forms then others. Even at times as Avatars: complete manefestations of the divine in various forms.

  Do you think we will get resurrected?

  Not to the moribund paradise the Watchtower presents. Forever would seem to be a long time. Thich Nhat Hanh, a Zen master, once said to a a group of us, "Your Heaven, your Pure Land is right now. Learn to live in this moment." Sometimes we want to reach out and grasp the future we never notice the time we have now. At the same time I have a personal belief in the immortal soul. I believe the soul takes many births. Countless, even, before Realizing God. Do you believe in Christianity?

  Not in its current form. There was a wisdom tradition of Christianity which is now mostly lost. I think Christianity could be reinvigorated again, and that would be good. Really any religion, if practised sincerely, can help bring a person to god. But it hasn't been my choice. Looking back, I cannot say that the JW's were really Christian. There was not enough emphasis on their central teacher, Jesus Christ. As for Jesus, yes I do regard him as an Avatar, as a manafestation of God. In my religious tradition he is considered a Bhakta, one who follows (and teaches) the emotional path to God Realization, through pure divine love.

  As you might see I have been on a divergent track after leaving the JW's. I hope your own track is successful for you. Take your time and be cautious, and yet open. There is a lot to know and feel. There are feelings of intense bitterness and even hatred at the Society once leaving, and if you are cut off from former friends, that beings suffering at first. but you can get through that. The community of X-JW's is very helpful. I honestly don't know how folks like us managed before the Net. It's good to have friends in times of crisis. Best of luck to you :)