by Valis 44 Replies latest jw friends
Valis : I adopt you too. Actually, if I had started making babies at the right time (18), I could have a son your age.... But noooooooo.... I had to wait almost 20 more years.... So, now I am the mother of a young teenager.... And I should be a grandmother !
Love and hugs from Smurfette.
Hey Val, it is just fine to be mad at the whole darn situation. Rant, Rave, throw some eggs ,( just not at me) and let it all out. I really worked myself into a steaming hot mad , the other night just talking to Den, about my good for nothing, doesn.t care if I exsist Dad. I havent spoken to him in over a year , and he lives only 45 miles away from me, I will probably pass him on the street or bump into him at the movies when I start going back over to Shreveport. God help me if I do run into him, I hope I have the courage to walk right on by him as I look right into his eyes. I think it has gotten so bad , the time that has went by, that it is best to bury this dead horse!!!!!!!!!!!! My dad will never , never change, and I am not waiting on him to do so. I cry alot about it ,sometimes more than others, and it hurts especially when you see other families sticking together no matter what.
But like everyone said here, you ARE like our family Val. You are a terrific person, with a heart of gold, and anyone who has ever been around you in person, knows you make them feel right at home, literally. I know that your real blood family can not be replaced, that is a void that will always be there, but you do have all of us. I know all of you,, mean the world to me. I came from a big family of over 40 first cousins on my dad's side, just as many second cousins, aunts , uncles,, the big beautiful family I loved so much, but being a JW when I grew up I lost contact with most of them, and it will never be the same. But I do feel like we are an extended foster family here, and we are also great friends here. We have grandmothers, fathers , mothers , brothers ,sisters etc. here for the taking, others who need us as much as we need them.
You will always be our brother Valis, we love ya bunches, Dede and Denny
Sorry , I found my post,,,,,,,,
I was just thinking about the 3 fine lads that HL and I are lucky enough to have parented.
Then I think about my son and my daughter from my first marriage, so I have 5 children in total. They all know that I am on their side no matter what happens, that they are the most important thing in my life.
Then I think about the once kindly man who was my own Father. He died 19 years ago, for the most part, his opinion of me was based on how I performed as a Jehovah's witness.
So it was never a high opinion.
Englishman.
((((((((((((((Valis)))))))))))))))))
i was just talking about this yesterday. i was wondering what it would have been like to grow up 'normal' like the other kids in school. i bet i had to go sit in the library more times than the goddam librarian. i never felt like i fit in either.
i remember the day that i found out that my family's love would be, in fact, conditional. i lost it. i cried like i've never cried before. it was like someone reached into my chest, pulled out my heart, and smashed it with a hammer. i felt completely and utterly alone for the first time in my life.
a person should never have to question their family's love. unfortunately, we aren't like other people. we have to find real friends who love us unconditionally because our families can't seem to grasp the concept.
i'm so sorry you're feeling bad. i wish i could make it better. you are so valued here and you have been such a generous host and made so many people feel welcome and included. i have really come to admire that about you. i look forward to meeting you one day!
i've never had a brother. maybe i'll adopt you as my brother.
love, riz
{{{{{Valis and Lyin}}}}}
Thunder and I understand, oh boy oh do we understand Valis if you need someone to talk to just personal message me and I'll give you the phone number Lyin you too. I have had times I just wanted to stick an adopt a 39 year old sign on my butt LOL Chris hasn't seen his parents in over 10 years or so and only talked to his Dad once in 10 years <big mistake> Lyin my Dad lives two hours from here and he comes to KC all the time never see him, frankly I'm sick of running to him and calling him he knows where I live and my number he has yet to see my Grandbaby OH GOD I could go on forever. Just know I understand I know how it hurts and were here
((((((valis)))))))
Valis I hear you, you can see my post in Nappy Roots, you will see that I have had problems with my jw parents. I'm here for you to listen, to share stories. You can personally send me a message. I'm here to talk to you.
I don't know you, but I can share in this brotherhood, momhood. I'm right there with you.
I think there is a biological emotional drive to heal relationships in our family even when they're JWs and they treat us lower than dirt.
You can deal with this cycle for years if you choose to. God knows, I did. What a big waste of time. I will love those people until the day I die because I can't forget the good times and closeness we once had. But I finally decided I was tired of feeling the pain...and it was a very intense, longstanding pain. There was one person that was choosing to suffer and unfortunately it was me. I decided to burn those bridges and leave those people behind. If they want to build a bridge back to me, I'll meet them halfway on the construction project. Otherwise, I'm done, and I mean permanently.
I have a niece that was born this past December and she lives 15 minutes down the road from me. I've never seen her or held her. Am I upset about that? Only some. Not like before. Despite natural emotion that comes on me from such a situation, I *choose* not to think about it. As far as I'm concerned, I never had a new niece, and don't need to speak to or ever see my JW shunning relatives again. No pain, no pain. I like peace in my life, and coming to grips and accepting that my relationship with my mother and brother are over and done with forever is a big step in bringing peace into my life.
But I can totally relate, Valis. It sucks. But venting your grief to people who totally understand can be very healing.
I need a JW shunning relative in my life like I need nail in the foot. No thank you.
Megadude says: There was one person that was choosing to suffer and unfortunately it was me. I decided to burn those bridges and leave those people behind. If they want to build a bridge back to me, I'll meet them halfway on the construction project. Otherwise, I'm done, and I mean permanently.
*** Lyin ,,,,,, stands and says, "Here , Here", Amen, and claps her hands****
You can never go back home. That's life.
