by madisoncembre 19 Replies latest jw experiences
Welcome aboard Madison, probably a little too much information though in that identification could be easily compromised.
Stay strong, life gets a lot better in time, now that you have cut the chains. Lots of people here that will be able to identify with you experience first hand.
RB
It sounds like he continued seeing his mistress and abusing you to try and get you to leave
I don't think he wanted me to leave, as is evident by his actions now. He was denied the one he wanted, so he took second best and and continued to treat me as I were secondary to her. I know, sounds like a plot point from The Crown.
Did you keep pictures? Have you contacted government services to report these issues?
Yes I did keep pictures. A worldly friend at work advised me to do so, so we went into the ladies room and she took them with her phone and emailed them to me. The abuse stopped when I started making waves last August about leaving. We briefly reconciled but soon he was up to his old habits again, so I was at my parent's place by October. No governmental services were called as I was still a believing JW at the time.
How can they cut your off a joint account? Did you speak with bank manager?
I could have worded that better. My husband had been caught funneling his money into a private account after I found a few incriminating purchases. He then started giving me cash for daily essentials, saying I wasn't trustworthy to handle the family account. A few things happened, including being stranded on a highway because my car broke down and I didn't have enough cash in the account I had access to for the tow and repair. My mother intervened, and his father started paying a portion of his salary into the joint account as a direct deposit. When they found out I put down a deposit for an apartment lease, the direct deposits stopped and the account is now stagnant.
It sounds like your husband is a psychopath, and I fear for your future, and that of your children, but hopefully, maybe, people at your place of work may come to understand your situation and perhaps be able to give a level of support.
I believe you've diagnosed him correctly. It's why I have gotten my own place and have taken up full time employment. I had it specifically placed into the lease that only three people (myself and my children) were the only ones allowed to live there. People at work have been great and are well aware of my situation. I've become close friends with one such female co-worker.
tbh, I am just focused on getting through this month right now and for my husband to start understanding he's not coming back. Just last week he was trying to be manipulative and telling me how the children were waiting for him to move in.
Welcome aboard Madison, probably a little too much information though in that identification could be easily compromised.
At this point I don't really care. The fact I put up the blog and came out with my real first name is my way of saying I am not coming back - either to him or the religion. I'm out. All other names will be hidden. All you know is my first name.
No way. You didn't move out so he could move in.
@ joe134cd
Definitely one cannot be planning to leave the org and still think of marrying members or carry on with any relationship that is meant to lead to MARRIAGE. I feel for many who are presently stucked because of their marriage partner.
Another example that the so called spiritual paradise, joy, peace and keeping the congregation clean only exist in numerous books and their publications.
In reality it does not exist within the world of Jehovah's Witnesses
@Op be ready for the battle ahead
I would say that you have a difficult road ahead, and it sounds like you have already traveled a difficult journey. I can imagine that John will take advantage of all legal avenues soon if he has not already. You will need the pro bono services of attorneys who represent battered women. If you have not sought them out, please do. They can make pre-emptive recommendations that will stand up in court.
You deserve child support NOW and they can also help with that. As for counseling, there are many resources for battered women. Most are not congenial with JW's so hopefully they will offer the support that strengthens you.
You are in my prayers for a better life.
Welcome to the forum.
My wife and I are also now "inactive" 3rd generation JWs with big JW families going back to Russel and Rutherford.
Please use an answering machine to keep a legal record of messages, and keep a diary of events. Keep mum on your JW opinions for now, and remain simply "inactive"...the less said the better for right now.
By all means, see a family law attorney. and follow their instructions to the letter. With 2 sets of JW grandparents and a future EX with financial backing, custody may become an issue. You may need to navigate JW "law" and the courts adroitly...usually the less said the better....for now. Depending on where you live, a legal separation may be a good financial (and JW) option to obtain legal protection, alimony, and child support while awaiting the necessary "wait" time for a divorce. If your ex is having an affair he may become more open about it.
Hang in.
Welcome Madisoncembre .
Never having been a Witness there's nothing that l can contribute to the conversation.
I can say that you will get lots of advice and support on here.
Jan
I can imagine that John will take advantage of all legal avenues soon if he has not already. You will need the pro bono services of attorneys who represent battered women
I've met with an attorney whom I found when searching on my phone and good news! He has referred me to a colleague of his who has agreed to take on my case on a pro bono basis. We are working on gathering all the data together and our next step will be an order for protecton, shortly followed by a petition for divorce.
So this is happening...!
Keep mum on your JW opinions for now, and remain simply "inactive"
Funny you mention that because I have been doing this so far I don't intend to force anything, especially at this time when I am trying to make my move against John. I don't need the elders coming in on top of this, but I suspect they will do so anyway and start asking me probing questions.
I can say that you will get lots of advice and support on here.
So far I have! Thank you! I am on Twitter and it's easier to communicate there.
I am @MadisonCembree there. Please follow! It helps to just stay in touch there and keeps things manageable.
