The steps were simple and straightforward. One day in 1995, while my divorce from my braindead JW wife was pending, and my ex informed the elders that I was going to remarry, a couple of elders called me one evening and said that they needed to talk to me about keeping the congregation clean. I told them that I was not part of their congregation and it was none of their business what I was doing, and hung up on them. The next day I called one of these guys late at night so as to ensure that it was only him on the line, and told him that I wanted to tell my side of the divorce story. He wasn't interested. I then told him that I had been inactive for 12 years, was never part of his congregation (I had moved into their territory years after I became inactive), that he was well aware that no JW thought of me as being a JW, and that had I known when I was about to be baptized at age 15 what I knew now, I never would have gotten baptized. He was quite taken aback at all this. I then told him that I was no threat to his congregation as I wanted no contact with any of them. Then I told him to listen carefully and said, in a grave and authoritative way: "Under no circumstances are you to make any announcements to anyone, publicly or privately, concerning my status or lack thereof as a JW. In particular you will not disfellowship or disassociate me. You will pretend that I do not exist. If I find that you or any of your fellow elders have violated my command, I will take all necessary steps to protect my good name in the community. Do you understand what I am telling you?" He said he did. I then said, "If you leave me alone, I will leave you alone. Deal?" He said it was a deal. That was the end of it.
The point is that you have to convince the elders that you mean to fry their asses in court personally if they do anything to you. Very often, if you pose no immediate threat to local JWs because of being mouthy, they won't want to open a can of worms that they know the Society would prefer to be left alone. They know that they wouldn't accomplish anything, and that it could lead to far more trouble for them personally than is worth it.
AlanF