Those that need to see a Therapist / and those that don`t is there a correlation of the two ?

by smiddy3 23 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  contramundum

  I was in the religion from the age of two, so don't remember anything different. I also believed and trusted implicitly.

  Since my exit three years ago I have not felt the need for counselling but I have the benefit of a very understanding partner (found after leaving JW) and it's therapeutic to have his perspective. He has the perception to recognise that many of my views still carry the remnants of a life of indoctrination which are more ingrained than I had thought.

  That said, I personally know several ex JWs for whom counselling has been an important step in moving on.

  As has been said already, we all have a different emotional make up and the cult lifestyle has had more impact on some than others

  At least now we are free to choose whatever path we want without fear of censure.

  CM
• 

  Humphry

  I'd say yes get a good one that can help you develop mentally and in the right direction, take free association test to find out what is perkulating in the unconscious and resolve the issues and become more whole.

  I choose to study self analyst hoping that I can do it without some one else, i'm self motivated and aware of the pit falls.
• 

  smiddy3

  Good comments from all of you that have made me recollect some of my early thoughts and experiences since leaving the religion.

  Yes it did take a few years for me to unshackle the chains that bound me to this religion.Even though I left ,some beliefs attitudes did hang around for a few years . Probably two things that come to mind was revolved around the Blood issue , and the neutrality issue.

  It took me a while to come to terms of what a load of crock there stance on blood was all about.

  It also took some time before I could believe that they were a signed up member of the UN , I thought ex JW`s had gone overboard with that claim.

  And it took me a while to once again be a part of the community I live in , I now vote and I have served on jury service and have volunteered and supervised at the local senior Citizens OP shop.

  Maybe I haven`t gone to a professional therapist , and just maybe my being on this board and others that I started with was my and still is my therapy .

  The thing that that made me ask this question in the first place is none of my immediate or extended family ,10 ,that have long ago left the religion have any interest in belonging to a site like this .

  Yet here I am after about 12-14 years .
• 

  Tantalon

  "and just maybe my being on this board and others that I started with was my and still is my therapy"

  This smiddy3^^^.

  I was born in and it took many years after leaving before the final shackles fell.

  I can attest that falling asleep as a toddler on the day bed provided at the back of the K Hall is not good for mental/emotional health. All that crap of multi headed beasts and eternal destruction at Armageddon and Gehennah's fiery lake does not make good bedtime stories for infants! I am sixty years old now so you old timers will know the length of meetings and the crap they used to serve up (probably still do) back in the day.

  All good now thanks to supportive wife and friends and a few years membership on sites like this.

  Thank you to all the apostate internet community! It has been good therapy for me.
• 

  iwantoutnow

  Whereas someone who is born into the religion is indoctrinated from the earliest part of their life and surely that must affect them and their growing up in the world ,certainly different from my growing up in the world.

  I was a JW and a elder for 20 years before I woke up.

  I dont feel any chords holding on to me from that horrible belief system. I have no fear of fake jehober, or that the Big A is coming. I am an atheist. (FYI no hope is not fun)

  I have lost plenty, 50 years, purpose, hope for the future, almost all friends and family, change for all the things a normal life has, any kind of financial future or stability...

  I am well read, have explored many books by therapists, life coaches, bla bla bla. All good and helpful to some degree.

  Talked with 2 therapists, both really dealing with trying to save my marriage. (my wife who I helped wake up then wanted out of marriage).

  I am struggling with more or less the fallout of ALL of it, a giant vacuum, with the biggest challenge is Lack of Motivation to well anything. In mourning (for my lost life) really I guess. (after 50 years of DONT WORK DONT PROSPER, just hang out and study and walk around the neighborhood, cuz thats the BEST THING you can do. Well its hard to get out of 1st gear.

  I KNOW all the things that a therapist or a mentor, or a life coach, would say, but putting them in practice is something totally different.

  So not sure what spending tons of money I dont have to talk to someone would do for me. You know what I am saying?
• 

  dubstepped

  Because people are different. Different mental and emotional qualities, different experiences, different levels of buy in, different tools and coping mechanisms available to them, etc. We believed differently, felt differently, lived differently. After leaving people have different support levels available to them. Some have friends or find it in other places, others prefer or only have professional therapists to go to. Again, we are different.
• 

  rockemsockem

  I would say most would do better to see a therapist even if they don't know it. The JWs are an extreme cult that is very destructive and most people will not even know the damage done to them. Its like the old saying a person who represents himself as a client has a fool for a client. You can not in most cases fix yourself without help. You will carry the damage the cult did for ever. Examining the cult and where its going on sites like this will only take you so far. At some point one should move on.
  
• 

  RubaDub

  This thread reminds me of the story of a guy going to a psychiatrist asking for help for his brother.

  He explains that his brother needs help and keeps acting like a chicken.

  When the psychiatrist asks him why he just doesn't bring his brother in to the office so he can be evaluated, the guy puts his head down and says "no, I can't do that. I really need the eggs."

  So I guess many of us here are in different stages of our lives and mental states.

  It can be difficult for some to accept the fact that we need the eggs.

  Rub a Dub
• 

  Xanthippe

  I would say most would do better to see a therapist even if they don't know it.

  I agree, there's so many walking wounded ex-JWs who pretend they're fine. My inlaws mentioned earlier tried to act as if the 55 years they spent in the cult never existed. They even made themselves believe it up to a point.
  

  At one of my daughter's birthday parties they said it's a shame we didn't have parties like this when our children were small, I'm not sure why. Perhaps it wasn't done so much then. I said it was because you were JWs remember? They looked at me bemused and said vaguely, 'oh yes, forgot about that'!
  
  
• 

  Humphry

  iwant out,

  I am struggling with more or less the fallout of ALL of it, a giant vacuum, with the biggest challenge is Lack of Motivation to well anything. In mourning (for my lost life) really I guess. (after 50 years of DONT WORK DONT PROSPER, just hang out and study and walk around the neighborhood, cuz thats the BEST THING you can do. Well its hard to get out of 1st gear.

  I KNOW all the things that a therapist or a mentor, or a life coach, would say, but putting them in practice is something totally different.

  So not sure what spending tons of money I dont have to talk to someone would do for me. You know what I am saying?

  When you are dealing with core issues the natural drive to stop,, comes into play,, I would suggest to keep going into the discovery of your true self the road is bumpy and ruff but the results are what you are after. Wholeness which is something we have when we were first born but lose it through are struggles to navigate up to say age forty five ish and then we start to come to a point where we need to find meaning off what these years mean and that is the natural drive towards wholeness in later life and it's goes on hopefully till the deeper you go the better you will die happier at least that is my beleif.