Tameria2001 So sad to hear this ! And so unnecessary too /
schnell - Your Mom could have been a North Korean by the sounds of it !
"It's a cult, mom."
by schnell 19 Replies latest jw experiences
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Thisismein1972
I have a similar situation with my mum. However, to preserve the relationship with her, I need to let her have her belief. We know it is a high control cult, however, some people are heavily invested in this cult.
Although it is a loving and caring thing to try and warn a loved one that this cult is dangerous, this person needs to have doubts, you cannot simply "implant" these doubts into an individual, the mind control and years of indoctrination is far to strong.
Sadly, I don't think my mother will ever wake up, so me trying to wake her up will NEVER happen. Sometimes we have to learn acceptance and focus on the cult itself. What I mean by focusing on the cult is knowing that this is not the cult victim's fault, it is the cult that slowly manipulated the victim into total servitude.
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Xanthippe
Very frustrating for you schnell. She really wasn't telling you to kill yourself though I'm sure. Families still in drive us mad I know, mine haven't budged for 27 years.
If she's willing to listen I think a good approach might be saying it's all very well the GB being imperfect and changing things but what about the people that disagree before they change it again. Can it be right to disfellowship people for disagreeing, having a transplant or using IVF to have a child and then the teaching is changed? How come they don't get an apology from the elders and immediately reinstated?
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pale.emperor
Exactly the same reaction over here too. Cognitive dissonance is a powerful thing.
My brother who is studying with them has started shunning me now too because i came out and said "it's a cult".
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OnTheWayOut
Sorry to read of your woes with family. Judas Iscariot (the way he is written) deliberately betrayed Jesus for personal gain, then regretted it too late. I would tell my loved one that called me Judas that my intentions in saying things are out of love and concern with no personal gain and I only regret waiting so long to say such things in my attempt to retain family peace.
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truth_b_known
Shunning = cult.
If its the truth, why fear criticism?
Fear. Fear of isolation via shunning, fear of death at Armageddon, fear of no resurrection is at the root of such behavior.
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schnell
Tameria2001 - She sounds just like my mother. After I left that cult, she did send me a very hateful letter, and at the end she signed off, from the woman who gave birth to you.
Yep, I've gotten something very similar. She wants to believe so much that she raised us well that she conflates this religion with her and my dad's parenting. The result is that a perceived attack on the religion is a perceived attack on her parenting. I assured her, nothing I have to say about the society has anything to do with her at all.
It's hard for me to hide how much I hate what this cult has done to my family.
OnTheWayOut - Sorry to read of your woes with family. Judas Iscariot (the way he is written) deliberately betrayed Jesus for personal gain, then regretted it too late. I would tell my loved one that called me Judas that my intentions in saying things are out of love and concern with no personal gain and I only regret waiting so long to say such things in my attempt to retain family peace.
It is interesting that they feel you need to be getting something out of it to decide this isn't the truth. She asked if I'm turning against my brothers, and I said No, I just disagree with them. I said they can decide for themselves. My brother had accused me a month or two ago of starting my own church, because that's what this cult teaches you that apostates do. I said No, people can decide for themselves. She said I just want a fight; I said I don't want a fight, I just want honesty. I've already been accused of wanting to go sin, because they conflate being a JW with being a good person and see no other way even when they recognize good people who are not JWs.
It's pretty rich that they're hurling all these accusations against me and yet I'm the one who has "turned against them."
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Heaven
schnell, we have to tell them. Yes, it might be as subtle as a brick up side the head, but those words need to be spoken. Good for you.
Back in 2011, I told my Dad that any organization that does not allow it's members to have anything to do with their friends and family that refuse to join said organization is a cult. He didn't like it but had no rebuttal... just the annoyed, pursed lips, the silence, and the deer-in-the-headlights look.
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schnell
@Heaven, thank you. Yep, she told me that I knew better than to listen (to the world/apostates) and I told her that's what cults tell you to do.
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4thgen
"Judas Iscariot, and that may be the closest she will come to telling me I should go kill myself. "
You've rocked her world. As is human, when people are hurt they get angry. You will be in for some tough times ahead with your mom. Hang in there and keep yourself grounded. She is in ignorance...whether she choses to stay there is up to her. You've taken the wise course and left. Congratulations. Remember not everyone will share our views. Breathe.