Do you feel regret?

HereIgo

To help me move on after leaving the Org and to maintain my sanity, I have worked on not regretting the time I spent in it. Granted, I have only been out 6 years and was 22 when I left, I still was an active JW from age 16-22. Those were prime times of my youth that I will never get back. I wanted to play high school football and basketball but couldn't. I wanted to go to college after HS but felt the pressure to pioneer. I am still in my twenties but I still wish I could go back to those years and do them over. Oh well. I have just tried to view it all as a learning experience and helped me be who I am now. Does anyone else regret joining the Org or do you think it helped you become the person you are today?

schnell

Regret?

I feel like a fool for defending it for so long. I feel angry, fucking ANGRY, that my family has been led to believe that we have one or two anointed relatives in heaven right now, and that so few of them want to open their eyes and see the truth for what it is.

*sigh* Yes, I feel regret. I wanted to study computer science at university. I wonder what would have happened if I had, especially considering that I was baptized and indoctrinated even then.

Oh well. There is no TARDIS or flux capacitor to go back and change all that. It's a human experience. You and I are still young, Herelgo. Maybe I'm just fundamentally optimist, but screw it. We'll be fine.

I'm having a look at University of the People, BTW. It's a start.

HereIgo

Schnell, I feel you. I understand feeling like you were lied to, which you were, we all were. But at least now we know the truth about the truth and can try to move on. Good luck on the pursuit of your education.

HappyGal

Lots of regrets about the wasted years and the lost opportunities. I was baptized at 16 and left at 28. Like you Herelgo I feel like the prime years of my life were gone. Very important years to learn and grow as a person.

I did go to college after I left and it took 10 years but I got my degree. (working full-time and college part-time)

Schnell, best to you in the pursuit of further education. It is wonderful that you have the freedom to make that choice now.

One thing I don't regret. I never regretted leaving.

flipper

HEREIGO- I hear what you're saying. I feel it too at times, the regrets. I feel it's only human to have regrets and wonder what might have been if we weren't so restricted as born-in JW's. I was a born-in JW from birth and finally exited at age 44 over 13 years ago. Raised by a fanatic JW elder dad in a well known JW family in our area- he had big plans for me, i.e. becoming an elder , and a prospective " example " to the congregation.

My freshman coach in high school wanted me to be on the baseball team as I had considerable skills- but my elder dad forbid me as it would interfere with Tuesday night meetings. Like yourself- I was not allowed to attend college and was expected to either got to bethel or pioneer. I chose the latter as I would hate institution life at Bethel as I've always been a free spirit. In time I saw through the politics of people " reaching out" to get " privileges " as being more really " standing out " to get " noticed " as being more " spiritual " than others in the congregation.

Be glad you got out in your 20's instead of your mid 40's - less time spent as a JW to regret . That being said the JW cult didn't rob me of everything. I've also taken up music the last 5 years playing guitar and writing songs- even producing albums now to sell in local stores or the Internet as downloads. Just the freedom of pursuing my music has helped make up for some of the loss and pain I personally experienced at the hands of this vicious cult backed by the WT Society.

So after 13 years out I'm more of a " live in the moment " or " live in the here and now " guy than dwelling on my JW past anymore. That's water under the bridge. I'd rather row forward in my lifeboat and enjoy the positive experiences I get now through reading, learning, playing music, and just appreciating the people in my life that matter who see me for who I really am - just a man who wants freedom of mind for himself , his loved ones, and his friends.

Like Happy Gal said I have NEVER regretted leaving the Witnesses though. One of the best decisions I ever made in my life. Having so much more freedom of movement in life is exhilarating like a breath of fresh air. When I left it was like a ton of bricks got lifted off my shoulders. And it still feels that way- 13 years later. It will get better for you in time I promise. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Xanthippe

Of course I wish I'd got out sooner, I was thirty when I left but I'm not weighed down with regret. I came from a financially poor, uneducated family which is why my mother got sucked into the cult. I can't see that my childhood could have been much different because of my parents circumstances. My parents didn't even understand about further education and my mother had depression so she just wanted paradise to make all the nasty scary world go away.

I try to look at the big picture because there's so much poverty in the world that people struggle so hard to get out of and many never do. My husband and I left and got degrees and did get out of the poverty trap but I'm not rich I just value everything I have now. Freedom, a little home, books and a daughter who did go to university and has the freedom to do whatever she wants with her life.

When I looked round universities with her I do remember a sharp pang in my stomach when I thought I could have had this life, but then she had me for a mother and I had my JW mother. Hey ho. Life is what it is and for us in the west, the first world it's damn good, make the most of it!

smiddy

" Regrets Iv`e had a few , but too few to mention" ( thanks Frank ) , sorry I couldnt resist that .

Think yourself lucky my friend that you got out when you did at an early age , most of us here have been in it for decades and didnt escape until later in life .I spent 33 years as a " Captive of A Concept" from the age of 20 .

Some others here have spent decades longer .Your young enough to still make a productive life for yourself , dont waste the time you have.

I wish you all the best in your future.You have one

joe134cd

Yes I can repeat the sentiments of most on here. Be thankful you got out when you did. I battled TTATT for 18 months before I physically walked out of the Hall 3 years ago. You can imagine how I feel now I'm in my mid 40s starting all over again.

The Searcher

It's very hard (if not impossible) not to have bitter regrets at times, because after all, even awakened J.W.'s are human!

Although I may not be as young as Herelgo and other contributors, I genuinely get my "silver lining in the cloud" by applying the "butterfly effect" principle to my own life and looking at where I stand now.

Live a great life and build upon the learning and experience you gained as a J.W.

Get some good out of the bad, and be grateful every day that you are free to live!

LoveUniHateExams

Yes, I'd rather have got out sooner or not joined at all but I can't feel regret.

In a sane world, it'd be the watchtower higher-ups who feel regret - for all the people they've conned out of money, health and even life.

B*****ds.

Do you feel regret?

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