Francois, have you thought of taking prozac or some other kind of antidepressants for you depression, due to the narcotics? I know in some cases taking narcotics is the only way for some to have a good quality of life, due to severe chronic pain. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with that if you are under a doctors care and use the meds for just that pain control and not use them as a mental escape from something eles....... and I know from you story Francois you used the meds for the chronic pain, and not for anything eles.
I have to take a medication daily to prevent extreame muscle pain, TMJ, it is Klonapin, just a low dose every nite, and it saves me a world of pain. I still get pain alot , but not nearly when I stay on my low dose. It helps me to not grind my teeth at night which leads to migraines, neck pain, jaw pain etc.
I told myself I didnt want to be on meds everyday of my life, and stopped taking my meds cold turkey. The withdrawals were terrible , the physical pain came back worse, I was sick, shakey, and miserable. Once i got used to not taking the meds, some of that passed, but the pain in my muscles came right back and my quality of life went to pot. I was in bed crying most of the time, with a heating pad .
All my life I have been afraid of drug addiciton because my mother was addicted to pain pills and it got really ugly for her.
I have learned that you can take medications responsibly and not abuse them. In my case not taking the meds was not being sound of mind, because I knew they helped and I would not comply with what the doctors told me to do, because I was afraid of becoming an addict.
Everyone's body chemistry is different, some can go their whole lives just taking an aspirin here and there, then there are others who need blood pressure meds, diabetics, people who must stay on antidepressants for the restof their lives,,,,,,,and I see know that is not addiciton. A doctor once told me about antidepressants, that ifyou are not getting the right amount of chemicals in your brain and the meds help,,,,,,itis just like a diabetic taking their meds to keep their sugar levels in check. Basically you have to decide that in order to have a good quality of life, sometimes complying with taking medicaitons is the wisest choice.