Perhaps while they're flipping burgers at McDonalds they could offer magazines with every purchase as a promotion:
1) An McAwake mag with every Chicken McNugget
2) A McWatchtower with every Big Mac
3) A McMy Book of Bible Stories with every Happy Meal
Then the customer get's the chance to tell them "Cool now I can wipe my ass with pages from your McAwake after I've left a few McNuggets floating in your McToilet."