I believe I need to explain my story. It is long and arduous. I was only baptized because a circuit overseer saw a future in me. I didn't really want to be baptized, I wanted a career in sports. I got disfellowed less than a year later due to lying to the elders about things that happened with a girl. I lie to protect the girl. They saw that as being deceitful and disfellowship me even though I had never even been reproved before. I tried for one year to get back in and they reject me twice. I stop going for 6 months and then started going again. In another 6 months I was reinstated.
Some time went and a new couple moves into my hall. We all start hanging out all the time. The husband, Ralph, drinks a lot. He will get drunk and leave me and his wife (Maria) alone all the time and we talk a lot but nothing happens. One time when I am with them he gets drunk and starts yelling at her and then tells me to get out but I am afraid she will get hurt so I refuse. I say that I am too drunk to drive and ask if I can stay for the evening. Eventually they go to bed but I wake up and hear Maria crying in the bathroom. I caught her on her way out and she tells me everything. Ralph is spending all of her money and occasionally hits her. She even shows me bruises.
I never meant to get involved with a woman who was married but it happened. I have been called many horrible names and maybe they are true. Why should she need to stay in a relationship that is abusive that she entered into when she was 18? Why suffer for another 60 years with this man?
We both went to the elders and were told we were going to be disfellowed. She even showed the elders her bruises and they said that was not there concern, they were only concerned with the actions that happened. Ralph was not even counseled. He is dating another woman in the congregation and they do not care to warn her of his habits.
After ralph divorced Maria, she wanted to marry me. We thought we would get married and return together. But then my co worker showed me some information that was very concerning. After about two months of studying information from different websites and books Maria and I realized this was not the truth. But she decided we didn't need to get remarried so quickly just to make the elders happy.
now I am stuck. My love wants to get reinstated and then move from the congregation because she wants her family back in full. They do not shun her but will not go in public with her. I am indifferent towards my family. They are witnesses but they never treated me well because I was a bastard child. If they shunned me forever I would not care very much. I know I will be a better parent to my future children. Maria wants to wait until we are reinstated to get married but I am fearful they will never let me back in. Some people have told me I didn't do it right the first time I was disfellowed and that's why it took so long. I do not know what to do.