by minimus 30 Replies latest jw friends
I faded. I did not want to play by Watchtower rules. I owe them nothing.
I was an uber-dub from birth. I was appointed a Ministerial Servant at 19. I was given every "privilege" there was. I had parts on the Circuit Assembly programs and conducted a Book Study (when they had them). I faded and no one cared. It seemed my father was the only one who even reached out to me.
They may actually hope the outliers fade if they switch to mostly online, that way they're out of the way, and then if they stop reporting hours they can count all irregulars and faded and keep high numbers.
When you fade, you suddenly notice how little interest JWs have for others in congregation. It's like you never existed. Most people have enough with there own life's. In there own mind people do to much of a big deal when it comes to fading. If you miss some meetings, they start to forget about you usually.
I just faded over time. I imagine that they DF'd me which is fine with me. I don't follow their silly rules.
Agree with the notion that 'fading' is a good option for many who are ready to get OUT!...
Opportunities for fading away only augment, as the WT blurs the strict lines on what it means to be a JW.
The WT has to know this. Therefore, we can reason they see it as an acceptable loss - to be managed as they transform to 'something' more sustainable...
This is good thing. It means more freedom for thousands of people...if they be so inclined to seize it.
The only time that I can understand someone going the intentional DA or DF route is if they tried to fade and the JWs wouldn't leave them alone. My brother experienced that situation. My younger sister (his elder sister) was still in and she kept telling the elders he was confused and needed help so they kept calling on him... in person... to try to get him to go back to the meetings. My brother tried to DA and they didn't accept his letter of resignation! So he joined the Navy. And that finally got his point across.
In any other situation, I personally feel that intentionally DAing or DFing is just supporting their pretense that they have some power over us. They don't. I got baptized and it is only a contract that holds up in their heads... and in our actions if we let it. As far as I know... there is no government in the world that will enforce a baptismal contract with a religion. They will allow it to uphold religious freedoms but they won't acknowledge it as a way to force someone to be in any particular religion. So... why give credence to the idea that the JWs have that kind of power over us?
I am with you. I am not a fan of abiding by the rules they have put into place. They do not control me
I'm always a bit disappointed that another option is almost never mentioned in the discussion around fading vs DA, and that is "quit cold turkey" or ultra fast fading.
Just completely stop going to meeting and FS. If elders call, politely but firmly tell them to stop contacting you without giving them any reason or justification, and without saying "I'm not a JW anymore".
If 'friends' and family come up with the obligatory "we miss you", invite them over for coffee and chitchat. If they inquire into your meeting attendance, tell them you don't go anymore. Don't offer any further info. Change the subject.
This method can save a person from many, many wasted years of slow fading.
It also doesn't carry the downsides of DA, as family doesn't have to shun you (word of warning: most JW will shun everyone who stops going to meetings anyway).
The only prerequisite is that you need to be able to tell elders, friends and family a firm "no" when they start about JWism.
I am with jwundubbed. Sending a DA letter implicitly agrees that they have some legal hold on you and that it requires an action on your part to end it. They have no such hold and their supposed basis for it (baptism, which for many was at a teen age) is bogus.
Quit cold turkey is fine on paper but not everyone can easily do this.
