Would you consider shunning merciful?

For me it's been a mix blessing, but I remember reading somewhere that shunning is the worst thing one person can do to another psychologically. In my case, my husband left the JWs at the same time as I did, he wanted to leave it sooner, but waited till I was ready. But to this day neither his nor my parents or part of our siblings have any thing to do with us, but other relatives (and one of my sisters left it as well) have filled in that gap.

I remember when I was a JW, I knew a woman who's daughter was disfellowship, and she came to me for advise. In her daughter's case, she wanted to leave her abusive husband, so she went the route of cheating on him to get her divorce. She asked me what I would do if it was me, and I told her this from how I feel about things personally. I told her, if you want your daughter back, don't shun her. By showing her you care about her, and still love her, she would want to return. She took my advise, and it did make her son very angry with her about this, but her daughter did return. And later I found out it was because her mom did not cut off all contact with her.

Yes I remember them saying that shunning is merciful, so that they see the errors of their ways and want to return to the fold. But for me it's the total opposite, shunning shows the victim that those who are doing that DO NOT care about them, or their well being. In my case, those who are shunning me, and this is why I say it's a mix blessing is because all those people who are shunning me, are very toxic people, who made both my husband and myself very miserable. They are the reason why my husband started up the nasty habit of smoking. But that part is a whole story for another time.

Darkknight757

Is ignoring those you love merciful? No way. It is a horrible cult tactic that lacks any form of love.

just fine

Sometimes you are given a gift..........my sister is a hateful, mean person, so it's not really so bad that she shuns me. I don't like to be around people like that anyway.

stillin

In answer to poopie's question, shunning is more merciful than stoning somebody or boiling them alive or more merciful, even, than trying to say something mean or snarky at every opportunity.

but it is NOT love. A person can tell themselves that it's love but that is not how people act when they love each other.

you don't really need me to tell you this, do you?

Dunedain

Would you consider mentally, emotionally, and psychologically, ignoring someone merciful? Would you consider ignoring a person during their, perhaps, greatest NEED, merciful?

Would you consider cutting someone off from perhaps the ONLY human beings they have EVER known, and interacted with, due to archaic rules, merciful?

Would you consider pushing away someones hand, when they are reaching out for help, merciful?

Would kicking someone while they are down, be merciful?

Would publicly humiliating, and shaming someone, because their sins were INVENTED by men, merciful?

Would you consider all the shunning that is happening, be SOLELY happening because of being JUDGED by a fellow human being, merciful?

Scully

I had a good laugh one time when a Sister™ shunned me in a grocery store. She was staring at me from afar, and when I made eye contact with her, she turned her face away and stuck her nose in the air. She just looked so foolish, and I'm sure she thought she was Giving a Good Witness™ to everyone around us who had no clue what she was doing and cared even less about what she was doing. I started laughing out loud, which totally pissed her off, because she got all huffy and stormed off down the aisle in the opposite direction.

I think it was the best thing that could have happened out of that situation. I showed her that she had no power over me, and that despite her attitude (which was always pretty nasty toward me from the beginning) she was not going to have any impact whatsoever on my happiness.

scratchme1010

No.

Would you consider shunning merciful?

poopie

Barrold Bonds

Ame SF

Tameria2001