So sick of the abuse... (page 3)

Je.suis.oisif

Still Totally ADD. Sorry for flagging you. Yes, it was me. Not intended. Having problems technically. Some posts to threads have vanished. Or maybe its my sausage fingers ATM.

iwasblind, take care of yourself.

It doesn't matter if you are a man of faith, atheist or anything in between. If someone is genuinely interested and caring, the love shows and spirits are lifted. Sharing yourself is the spice of life, it's good for you and the recipient. You are doing good.

Phizzy

You are a good man Sir !

I like the way that compassion and love come first, then any "message" can follow.

It is really good to let the people we speak to who are struggling within the JW religion realize that they are not unworthy, which the religion tries to make you feel all the time.

Tornintwo

Well done, There are so many in the organization that need to hear what you told that sister.

There are plenty of sheep skinned and thrown about. When we have problems, we naturally reduce activity, for me it started with exhaustion through overwork and pressures, but then we are labelled 'spiritually weak', and most brothers are not saying it in a 'lets see if we can help' kind of way but in a critical, judgemental way. When I was at my lowest I told an elder, 'I haven't missed meetings for 20 years, I'm just going through painful problems right now and it's hard to attend regularly, I'm reading my bible at home when I miss' he said sharply 'you haven't missed for 20 years so don't miss them now'

we had a particularly loving c.o. a couple of years back, very humble, very compassionate, Christlike really, he was quickly replaced with quite a hard, unemotional guy and sent to bethel instead. I just couldn't get it, surely I thought, the c.o's main quality should be compassion and love, now I know from reading here, what they really want from c.o.s and the like is company men who will make sure the money keeps flowing in the right direction.

stuckinarut2

I also focussed on just being a kind and caring appointed man...someone people could just talk to and feel supported.

I was blatantly told by elders that I was being "permissive and an apologist" by not enforcing the strict regurgitated society responses....

I focussed on helping people build their self esteem and confidence.

It became impossible to continue to fade while still remaining appointed and having to play the games....

The FEAR, OBLIGATION and GUILT, that the organisation binds on the shoulders of the flock is deplorable. It is certainly NOT kindly as Jesus recommended.

DJS

iwasblind,

Thank you for this post. I was exactly where you are now when I was an elder. I grew to despise how each congregation was beating down people, all at the direction of the Dark Lords. However, it was before the world wide web in all of its present glory, so I lacked the insight you have. You have my admiration. Good luck.

New Order

Thanks for sharing, and showing genuine concern for someone in need. Quite interesting to learn that some elders actually care about the wellbeing of others. In past jw life, saw them as men drunk with power; who believed they were semi-gods.

cantleave

Atheist ex-elder here, it sounds like you do your best despite the organisation.

gda

thank you!!! for telling her the truth

Gramma Velta

Dear, dear brothers,

As the wife of an ex-elder, my heart goes out to you! My husband was an elder for over 36 years. He saw the inequities in the decisions the elders made over the years and always leaned in the direction of compassion when decisions were made. (I did not know anything about what went on within the body od elders until we left the org. He was always the correct, don't discuss with your wife, elder) When we started having doubts it was after they allowed him to step down after a totally contrived situation. I think they were beginning to see he was not totally caught up in the WT agenda at that time. We began to see signs of them "beating the sheep" in the things they did which showed a lack of love and the scripture about the "faithful and discreet slave" led us to the verses after which said: "But if that evil slave should say in his heart, ' My master is delaying,' and should strt to beat his fellow slaves and should eat and drink with the confirmed drunkards.......:" Matthew 24:48,49. Also the scripture in Ezekiel 34: 20: "20 “‘Therefore this is what the Sovereign Lord says to them: See, I myself will judge between the fat sheep and the lean sheep. 21 Because you shove with flank and shoulder, butting all the weak sheep with your horns until you have driven them away......". It just seemed to be the way it was becoming in the WT org.

We left in 1983 and it has not seemed to be getting any better. I am so happy that there are still elders who care for those who need help. Maybe this is why you have not left yet. God bless you and keep you strong! Love and hugs, Gramma Velta

So sick of the abuse...