What is this "religion"? (page 3)

Diogenesister

Oh and every single prediction for the end of the world they have made has not come true...1878, 1914,1925 and 1975 and " within this with 20th century".

But because jw's are not allowed to know their history, and the Watchtower lies ( it's called theocratic warfare, look out for it, even from your loved one) many Jehovahs witnesses are not aware of all these failings. Not to mention the Peadophile scandal.

Jwfacts.com is an essential resource that uses only Watchtowers own literature to PROVE them false.

punkofnice

Hello, Kom. You will have a long long road before you ever find peace with this chappie...if you ever do.

I'm not going to say stick it out or run away because you'll make up your own mind.

He however is a Jehovah Witness.

Alarm bells!

Phoebe

Hi and welcome,

this is so hard for you because your heart is involved and it’s so difficult to reason clearly when you are in love.

but please listen to all these people on here. If you become a JW, every aspect of your life and his and any children you have, will be firmly controlled by the organization. This is a dangerous cult.

You are young, you have your whole life ahead of you. Get away while you still can. Don’t throw your life away like I did. Run!

tiki

Sparrowdown said it all....you are very young too remember...and this is just one guy you are attached to ...but if he chooses a religion that makes a normal relationship impossible then walk away. You already see through it...just move on with your life and you will find a compatible partner.

Searril

I knew he was a Jehovah witness when I agreed to be his girlfriend

As soon as I read this line I knew pretty much how the rest of the story would go. That's not an insult to you, it's just that those of us who've had personal experience with this religion know how these things work.

Unfortunately, you didn't know, and so you got hurt. You were collateral damage in the Watchtower's war against anyone who refuses to bow to its leaders.

I know your feelings are raw right now, you're confused, and you're frustrated. You have every right to feel this way. But there are a couple things you need to know.

This may sound odd to hear it, but in all honesty you don't want him to just up today and decide to quit the religion and be with you. The problem with this cult, or any cult, is the indoctrination runs deep. And if he quits "for you" he WILL end up holding it against you in his mind somewhere, and it WILL come to the surface at some point and cause problems. If he is to leave, it absolutely must be because he has come to terms with the true sadistic, nefarious, damaging, and insidious nature of this religion and has made up his own mind that he must leave.

Unfortunately there is no way to predict whether that will be soon, years from now, or never. Depending on how closed-minded he is it may be possible at some point to share information you have learned, but only if he's able to hear and never being pushy. If you attempt to push it will backfire. Period. It absolutely will backfire.

It would be difficult for you, but your only real option (if you want a relationship of any kind with him) at this point is to make sure he understands you are available as a friend. Be someone who is a safe place for him to talk to. Listen if he expresses doubts and support him in researching those doubts. But refrain from "putting your two cents in". Just be the safe place where his mind knows it can try to crunch through the things that deep in his psyche he knows are wrong but his religion has trained him to suppress. In time he may wake up.

But you may very well never be together as a couple again, and if you're going to go through with all this then you need to be ok with that or you're only setting yourself up for more hurt.

If you're not ok with that, then you should cut your losses and move on with life.

My intention is not to be harsh, but to just be realistic with you.

JakeM2012

Welcome to the forum. When he said "No" to the relationship and broke up with you, you should say "Next". You are young and your whole life is in front of you. Go find someone you are equally yoked with. The relationship that you had, if renewed will always have the interference of the Jehovah's Witnesses religion and the elders in the congregation that he attends. It will never be just the two of you.

scratchme1010

Advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for sharing, and welcome to the forum. Some people have been very direct in their advice. I'd too say RUN! However, seems like besides dating, you have a history, he seems more than just some guy you started dating. To me that makes a difference.

If you care about him as a human being, and as a friend, you might need to decided what kind of relationship, if any at all, you want to have with him. He is in cult, and as such, he might need to make certain choices himself, if he wants a relationship with you.

So I'd say RUN! from the nonsense of that organization, but keep the lines of communication open. This experience that he's having with the elders might making reconsider his relationship with that organization. If he decides to leave, he will need our support. However, leaving has to be his decision.

Xanthippe

Why would anyone commit their soul to an organization?

As you said your friend was feeling very vulnerable when he joined and in need of friends. Now he's been taught that if he leaves he could face eternal destruction.

What really hit me is that people say the JW organization is a cult and that their members are brainwashed. Then I started to remember little things that happened in our relationship that pointed to his odd behavior.....Is he always going to be so conflicted and give up things that make him happy?

Yes I'm afraid he is going to be forced to give up things that make him happy. I know you want to help him and this situation is awful for you but there's no way he didn't know dating outside the religion is discouraged and sex before marriage is strictly forbidden. I'm not going to tell you what to do. I hope your young life won't be blighted by this cult. Good luck xx

carla

"What is this "religion"?- the short answer- it is a cult.

If you don't want your entire life controlled by some men in NY then you must leave this guy. If you think your 'love' is somehow stronger, more special or different than everybody else' think again. The internet is filled with stories of ubm's (unbelieving mates) and ex jw's who are still married to jw's and their experiences with the wt (watchtower ie jw's)

You may wonder how a few men in NY can control your life and that of your honey?

The gb (governing body) tell people how-

to dress (can be called into the back room for the following- pants too tight, too loose, panty lines showing, nipples still showing through bandaids,heavy duty grandma bra and undershirt and sweater, toe cleavage, color of shirts in some congs, sock choices, tie choices, etc...etc...etc...

wear their hair-too long, too short, if you are cancer patient and have maybe 2 wigs of different colors you may get heat over that, too trendy, etc...etc..

facial hair-no beards for example

makeup - too much, wrong colors, too trendy, etc..

no holidays- except an anniversary -no birthdays, no Christmas, no Easter, no Halloween, no 4th of July

no blood- expect to offer your children up to the altar of the wt if they are in need of blood, your honey will let you die if are in need of blood (if you stay with this guy get your medical power of attorney in order and let local hospitals & doctor know, carry a notarized letter with you at all times)

how you can or can't make love- this is subject to change

naturally all your beliefs re: God

who you should associate with

no YMCA

no yoga- though some disregard this

no R movies-nope, not ever

many pg 13 movies are out too

books choices

music choices

and don't forget how you spend your time!- field service every Sat morning (typically 4 hours), one meeting mid week (typically 3 hours) and Sun meetings (another 4 hours or so) and don't forget personal 'study' during the week.

This is not a complete list but should get you started putting together your own pro & con list of staying with this guy or not.

Iown Mylife

Also this cult is intolerant of women having any say about anything. Lots of double standards - the boys are in charge. Women were created for no other reason than to serve men.

It'll grind on you!

What is this "religion"?

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