I Need Advice - Brother being DF'd tonight!

BobsGirl

I just got a call from my baby brother. They will be announcing that he has been DF'd tonight at the hall. He was crying, he has told me that the rest of the family has already started to shun him. He said "I feel so alone". He is SO down on himself. He is blaming himself entirely for the failure of his marriage and everything that happened in between. He is giving his wife EVERYTHING in the divorce, just because he feels so guilty. His only real crime is pursuing happiness in a miserable situation. God, I feel for him. He has been so trapped for so long.

I reassured him that there is NOTHING that he could do that would make me shun him, that he would ALWAYS be welcomed in my home and that he would ALWAYS be my baby brother. I have made a date to drive to his home (about 2 hours away) and have lunch with him on Thursday. I would love to take this opportunity to help him to learn the truth about the "troof", but I don't want to scare him off. Any suggestions?

Also, my Mom called crying, heartbroken over the "situation". It is my impulse to tell her that she is an idiot and that I can't imagine how she would even consider treating her son that way; but, I would like to keep the lines of communication open, in hopes that I might someday break through to my parents as well.

I know what I want to do and say .... I am EXTREMELY angry ...... any suggestions on how I can handle this with love all around? I have a feeling that this is the only way that my family will hear what I am saying.

God, my heart is breaking. I know that I am rambling and that this is a very disjointed post. I got this news just hours after my husband came home from the hospital after having surgery. To top it all off, my 2 year old is cutting his molars.

I need a nap, a good cry and a couple of hours of wild sex. I will settle for .some advice and a glass or three of good merlot. Thanks.

Francois

I think you are on the right track in simply calling a spade a spade. Let your parents know how angry you are, and why you are angry. Why should you sugar-coat it for them. Ask them if they don't know the meaning of agape. Ask them if in the sorrow of their hearts they feel like they have Jehovah's blessing in cutting off their youngest son. Where is the love? Where is the love?

RAYZORBLADE

Hey BobsGirl, sorry to read of your baby brother's predicament.

First off: thanks for being an excellent big sister - he has an immediate allie. Perfect!

Of course, your baby brother is not going to be merely consolled by that; this upcoming DF'ing of course, has crushed him.

Now, I don't know your brother, but is he receptive to the internet? Do you think he'd even remotely come here (with you)?

There are countless members on here who are either DF'd/DA'd. The only thing I can think of is, given his mindset, he may not be necessarily receptive, given the not-so-pleasantries we post about the WTBTS here etc., but you know that anyways.

I think the only thing is just being supportive to your baby brother. As for your family, well...what can I say? If you feel you can get your point across regarding this matter, go ahead, but more often than not, it falls upon deaf ears.

See how horrible the organization is: dividing loving families

Sorry to read this, and it appears you have a lot on your plate right now. Glad you came here to express your concerns. There'll be some excellent suggestions here in no time.

Stay tuned.

Your baby brother is welcome here, at any time!

He's not alone.

Dansk

I agree with Rayzor in that your brother should come here! This forum contains everything your brother needs to strengthen him in his conviction that he was RIGHT!

Love to you both,

Dansk

sandy

Hey bobsgirl,

I think for now you should just be supportive of your brother. the truth about the troof is ovewhelming. he is already ovewhelmed with being Df'd.

Wait a while before you talk to him about the "troof"...

Whatever you decide, Good Luck.

I feel bad for your poor little baby. I hope he/she feels better soon.

Why not take the advise, merlot and the wild sex?

BobsGirl

Thanks Everyone!

Francios,

I have tried the angry, not sugar coating it route before and they just close their ears. I am looking for a tactic that they will listen to. Thanks for the support though.

Rayzorblade and Dansk,

Thank you. I am trying desperately to be the sister that I wish I had myself. It is my goal to bring him here eventually. It might be a little early right now, but I know that it was here that I finally found my freedom.

Sandy,

I think you might be right. I don't want to overwhelm him any more than he already is.

I would take your suggestion (about sex) in a heartbeat, but , I am afraid that it would send my dear hubby straight back to the hospital!

sandy

Sorry Bobsgirl. I didn't realize your husband is recovering from surgery. I must of glanced over that.

Do you have a vibrator? LOL (Did I say that? ;-)

jgnat

Bobsgirl, it sounds like you are doing everything right. It is not hard knowing the "right thing to do" when you are motivated by love, is it? You said,

It is my impulse to tell her that she is an idiot and that I can't imagine how she would even consider treating her son that way

I think that would be perfect. You mentioned to Francois that anger has not worked in the past. So how about if you say this calmly?

gumby

Ya know....I think the idea of coming here would be good. Look at all the people who have commented about how much help and support they recieve here when they ask for it. Lot's of them!

The only problem with that idea is, if he's sensitive to Watchtower ridicule.......cuz theres lots here.

I know I wished I'd known about apostate dub sites once I was out ( although I realize he's not at that point yet ) I felt like he did. I was crushed that I had done all this and hurt my family and friends....I felt like a major loser.

Perhaps you should go to one of the other sites that deal with specific issues such as........"what to say to a relative who is a JW". Randy W. had many good pieces on subject such as this from people who are skilled at what and what not to say.

I wish you the best.........and tell your little brother we ALL said Hi......and that he IS NOT alone.

Gumby

Joyzabel

(((((((((((BG))))))))))

I hope three bottles will do it for ya. This is my favorite lately.

Hugs,

j2bf

I Need Advice - Brother being DF'd tonight!

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