I NEED you all's opinion!!! Please read................................

Jesika

I just got off the phone with Cruzanheart.

She told me about someone I knew that passed away. I don't remember her very well, but I remember she was very nice and very humble. This isn't the issue though.

The issue is in this conversation, my desire to attend the funeral is because I have missed so many others (funerals) I cared about who were older have passed and I never knew they were gone.

During this conversation, I found out a person who was sooooooo nice and caring to all the kids in the cong has passed a long time ago, and I just found out. You know the type........the older---grandma type in the cong who would give out candy to all the kids, and just loved the attention of us all crowding around her to get the lastest treat. We all loved her anyways. Even when she didn't have the candy that day, me and my sister would always say hello to her.

She was so nice and sweet, I have thought about her over the yrs and wondered how she was doing, or if she was still living.

Well, I found out today, she has been gone for quite a few yrs.

I am crying and I can see her face in my mind. I loved her so much, and I have always missed her. I have driven by her house before to say my silent hello, since I couldn't knock on the door and say hi since I am df'd.

But to now know she is gone, I am crying and hurt alot. I want to go visit her grave site. Is this stupid??? Even though I know she wouldn't talk to me cause I am df'd, is it crazy or dumb to go and say my "good-bye"?

I would like you all's opinion.

Thanx,

Jes

jgnat

Closure is healthy. Shunning is unhealthy. I think visiting her gravesite is a way for you to (((hug))) her and say your goodbyes like healthy people do. I say, go for it! Not stupid at all.

Big Tex

Anytime you want to go to her gravesite, I'll come with you. She was very good to me during my fight with White Rock. Nina and I went to her funeral and I miss her too.

As for the most recent passing and you attending the service, that's a tough one. I doubt you will be welcome. But if you can handle the JW attitude in order to pay your respects then I say go for it. If you need to talk, you can call if you want to.

Luv yas,

Chris

Celia

{{{{{{{Jesika}}}}}}}

Of course you should go visit her resting place. Bring her a few of her favorite candies and a few flowers, and talk to her.

RAYZORBLADE

((((Jesika))))

Nothing unusual or bizarre about how you feel. You're the 'better' person for not only feeling this way, but wanting to extend some sort of silent gesture of acknowledgement.

But to now know she is gone, I am crying and hurt alot. I want to go visit her grave site. Is this stupid??? Even though I know she wouldn't talk to me cause I am df'd, is it crazy or dumb to go and say my "good-bye"?

No, nothing stupid about this, going to anyones gravesite. Well...now there's no worry about whether or not she'd speak to you. The thing is, you can impart whatever words you wish to say to her, now without shunning.

Saying good-bye in a very special and personal way.

I think it's an honourable way to remember someone you loved ( unconditionally ).

Go Jesika - if I lived nearer, I'd accompany you for moral support.

Take care, and go give her your greetings and good-byes. You'll feel better for it. I know it!

Jesika

I guess I just don't know what to say.

"I wish you were still here", " I wish we could have been friends till the end", etc

What do I say?

I am new at this, and I am ANGRY I wasn't told by my family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE THEM ALL RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY DIDN'T TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can believe it, but WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am soooooooooooooooooo MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brummie

But to now know she is gone, I am crying and hurt alot. I want to go visit her grave site. Is this stupid??? Even though I know she wouldn't talk to me cause I am df'd, is it crazy or dumb to go and say my "good-bye"?

It certainly isnt crazy, I would say go, go and say goodbye in the way that you feel is appropriate, we are all different, I couldnt go to my JW grandmothers grave until last year and it was only then I think i finally lay her (and the JW effect upon our relationship) to rest in my own mind. It will be theraputic for you, if you dont go you will continue feeling the need to say goodbye.

Brummie

Jade

((((Jesika)))))

I think going to the gravesite would give you some closure and thats a good thing. It's private and you can say your goodbyes. As far as going to the current funeral service I would think twice about what you will face. Like Big Tex said, you probably will not be welcome and you WILL be shunned. If you can handle that, then more power to you. I for one, don't put myself in those situations because it hurts my feelings to be treated that way and I refuse to let them do that to me.

Take care

Jade

Jesika

Jade,

I understand what you are saying, but I would rather take the chance then never knowing.

berylblue

My heart is with you. Do go to the gravesite.

Beryl

I NEED you all's opinion!!! Please read................................

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