Bible Jokes

by bikerchic 5 Replies latest social humour

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?

    A. Ruthless.

    Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?

    A. German Shepherds.

    Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?

    A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

    Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible?

    A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

    Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

    A. God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

    Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?

    A. Samson. He brought the house down.

    Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

    A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

    Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

    A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

    Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?

    A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

    Q. Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the Bible?

    A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

    Q. Which Bible character had no parents?

    A. Joshua, son of Nun.

    Okay.........thought these were kinda funny.

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    I printed this out and I'll try these on the kids tomorrow.

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Who's the shortest man in the Bible?

    Answer: Bildad the Shuhite. (shoe height?)

  • mustang
    mustang

    Bible Baseball:

    Eve stole first;

    Adam stole second;

    Cain struck out Abel;

    The Prodigal Son "made a run for home";

    But Noah "called the game" on account of rain.

    There may have been another one....???

    Mustang

  • Ed
    Ed

    And the Lord said unto Moses, "Come forth" - but he tripped and came Fifth.

  • mustang
    mustang

    Who were the most "constipated" individuals in the Bible???

    God gave Moses two tablets;

    Satan was "bound" for a thousand years;

    "Heaven and earth couldn’t move John" (the Revelator).

    I’m not sure of the quote/origin of the third statement; I think it is from one of the Bible versions using archaic English :)

    Mustang

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