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Emily1987

As some of you may remember from a previous post of mine, myself and my husband are in the process of fading. We began our fade in Jan 2017 and haven't been to a meeting since May 2017. To say this time has been a struggle is an understatement. It has been a lonely time for us, losing all of our so called friends. Being shunned, even to the extent of being ignored by witnesses when passing in the street. We honestly never thought that it would be this way. We expected that witnesses would no longer invite us to their houses or invite us out etc, but never thought we would be ignored to this extent.

One question I have, which sounds trivial but i would be interested if someone knew the answer. Was there a talk at the recent one day assembly about social media and making sure who you are 'friends' with on social media. I know in the past there has been said talks, but the reason I ask is that our circuit have just had their one day assembly. Since that assembly, both myself and my husband have been blocked by a few witnesses on social media and others have 'unfriended' us. Some of these ones who have unfriended us used to be our closest friends. Obviously it is hard to not let this type thing get you down, but it does. Does anyone know if they have been instructed at the last assembly to remove friends who are no longer attending meetings etc? Did they give them a reason?

Thanks

neat blue dog

No there was nothing explicit, or even close, not in my area (of the US) at least. The only thing I can think of is if you've been posting stuff that could disturb a JW, or if you've let any critical talk slip out in conversation.

Emily1987

Thanks for your reply. We rarely post on social media, if we do, it is usually a photo of the kids or a family trip out etc. We certainly wouldn't write anything to offend a JW as this would most probably end up with the elders on our doorstep!

no-zombie

Hi Emily1987,

I seem to recall something about 'unfriending' inactive ones, but it was probably just a one line comment that might have not been actually written in the talk outline. Somethings COs and other righteous ones tend to ad-lib their parts a llttle. Its also not that unreasonable though, for it to get around the congregation that a person has decided to cut off a certain person from social media, and others end up copying it too.

As hard as it is to adjust, you should start thinking about joining a club. An outdoor one, like a sports based one or something. We all need company, and you'd be surprised how friendly and genuine some 'worldy' people can be.

no zombie

curiousconfused

Hi,

Yes there was, on the morning program of the “doing what is fine” assembly and it specifically counselled about not being friends online with dodgy ex-witnesses..... if your old Congo had that assembly recently, that would explain what’s going on with you..

CC

Diogenesister

Emily 1987 please try some exjw meet-ups. It hurts like hrll snd the dooner you jump in to thr world the sooner you will start to hral. May i recommend a running club and astronomy club? Try the meet up spp by the way.

Beth Sarim

Hi Emily. Sorry to hear of your struggles.

Yes!! In fact there was something ''spouted'' out a the 2016 Remain Loyal Conventions. About ''inactive ones''. About treating those ''who have gone inactive'' as being disfellowshipped or ''mentally diseased''.

If you go on youtube. Look for the kim mikey youtube channel where the title is ''Jw's have no more options''

There is a clip where the speaker ''spouts'' out how to treat those ''who have gone inactive''. Nothing but disdain.

So yeah, they have extended the shunning in a way.

Sorry to hear of your struggles too.!!!

Giordano

I have found being a volunteer in something worth while something you have an interest puts you next to really nice people who care about their community or as mentioned a Sport, a Garden club, Historic Preservation, Community Hospital, Library, the Animal Rescue Center. Etc.

Having a set time to meet........ seeing the same faces....working side by side....... allows for friendships to grow. Actually that's why you had so many friends at the kingdom Hall.

DesirousOfChange

DITTO about what has been said about "exercising caution" with those who are "inactive". Of course, some JWs are more self-righteous than others.

We are "inactive" however we haven't experienced the avoidance or even anything close to "shunning" from past JW (conditional) friends. However, we clearly are not on their list of "invitees" for most functions anymore.

And yes, it is "lonely". As JWs we were so accustomed to making "instant" friends. It was easy. Well, we all found out the hard way that those were not "real friends". And, as you're experiencing, it isn't easy to make real friends. Most people's close friends are from High School or College. Newer friends are from work.

Buy a Lotto ticket. If you win, you'll have LOTS of friends!

the girl next door

I wish JWs would leave me alone. Instead they stalk me in the supermarket or other stores, they plague me at my residence and place of business. They use an alias in attempts to stalk me on social media. Why? It appears to be the antithesis of “shunning”. I’ve been DFd for 10 years and it still happens regularly. I’ve filed restraining orders, called 911, appeared in court, and have used personal body guards. Yet they persist. It’s like they don’t want me to move on by putting them far in my rear view mirror. They keep bothering me like a plague even when they went to great measures to finally extricate me in the first place.

Go away JWs. And count your blessings if they actually leave you alone.

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