A Critique of Suzi Mayhem's Theory of God
I thought, when Suzi first posted this, that it was a joke something like John Cleese's classic "brontosaurus theory" skit in a Monty Python episode. But Mr. "dark clouds" has sort of asked me to critique it as if it were a serious theory, so here goes.
I'll address this to Suzi, but Suzi dear, don't take this too seriously. I'm only humoring "dark clouds". I'm also assuming you're not the same person.
First we have some statements about Einstein's theory:
: E stands for Energy
: m stands for mass
: c ... represents the speed of light, 186,000m/sec. squared
So far so good.
: or something to that affect..
You should have quit while you were ahead.
: forgive me, it's been over ten years since I had to even discuss this topic...
From your description, you should have quit ten years ago.
: So.. basically, what Einstein was saying with this equation was that when an object approaches or is pushed toward the speed of light, it becomes bigger,
Wrong, it shrinks in the direction of motion as measured by an outside observer.
From the standpoint of an outside observer, time on the moving object runs slower, and the object gains mass. But from the standpoint of the moving observer, nothing moving with him changes.
: and accelerates.
How profound. An object that approaches the speed of light is accelerating.
Wrong in any case. An object that is approaching the speed of light can accelerate only up to the point where the energy flow necessary to speed it up matches the rate at which that energy is converted into the increasing mass of the moving object. At that point, the speed must remain constant. However, even if the source of energy of acceleration is unlimited, the upper limit of velocity -- "c" -- means that the object will cease to accelerate as it gets 'close enough' to the speed of light. In that case the object can get arbitrarily close to the speed of light, but because in the real world energy is limited, real objects that have mass can never quite get there. In the real world, massive objects can reach only up to a large fraction of "c", at which point they no longer accelerate. Only massless objects like photons can travel at the speed of light, and for reasons I won't go into here, can only travel at the speed of light.
: When said object REACHES the speed of light,
Nothing ever "reaches" the speed of light. Either it never gets there, like an accelerating electron, or it is there at its 'moment of creation', such as when a photon is ejected by an electron.
This is all part of Einstein's theory, so you must have been sleeping during physics class.
: it becomes pretty damn big. So big that ultimately it is split into its pure energy elements.
Where'd you come up with this gem?
: As was proven with the Atom bomb... DUH.
Duh is right. As a great physicist once told a colleague, "your idea isn't even wrong."
Now we proceed to applications:
: So here's where my theory came in ...
From your description, it was the product of a hangover. Interesting that you cherish such a memory.
: I got up to the front of the room, I stared out at all the hostile faces. The only thing that popped into my head, oddly enough, was Einstein's equation ( it was a physics class, afterall). I took a piece of chalk, and I wrote the equation on the blackboard and actually prayed, yes PRAYED for a miracle while I stalled (and I'm not exactly the praying kind). And, staring at that dumbass equation, it all fell into place... and so my presentation began...
Amazing what you can do when drunk or hung over, and under pressure.
: E=mc2, we all know it, we've all heard of it, and once more I am presenting it for the masses to do with what they will, as I did that day in a freezing cold classroom, with the scent of chalk dust invading my nose.
You've left us breathless!
: In a nutshell, what I proposed is that the thing we refer to as "God" is actually an entity
Always a good start, that. Yes, God would be an entity.
: (or in some cases an imaginary unicorn, if you will)
Or a kind of conceptual entity.
: moving either at or faster than the speed of light, which would make it massive and beyond the realm of time-- or if you prefer, INFINITE.
You actually said this in class? I'll bet you confirmed your status as class clown.
More seriously, if "God" were a physical object within our universe, it would be subject to all the 'laws' of the universe, including the limitation that an object possessing mass cannot ever travel at the speed of light. You might have thought that God is massless, which would mean that he's a sort of super photon, but you didn't, and I won't add fuel to the fires of speculation. Therefore God, if he exists, must exist outside our universe in some sense, but you didn't propose this either, and so I won't pursue this line of thought.
: -- and naturally would have no real definable colour. >:)
Ah, I see you're from the 51st state!
: It would transgress the thing we call time, and be able to exist in all times, and at all places at once, and therefore would be all-knowing, and pretty much all-powerful.
Which means it would be outside our universe, and outside the application of Einstein's theory. Yeah, you really nailed that one.
: Theoretically,
There are theories, and then there are theories. Which one is your notion?
: and in this case even mathematically,
Cool! Oh please write down the equations! Please, please, please!
: it would be possible for God (or aforementioned mythical creature of questionable greenish hue) to exist as defined by general concensus, and to behave as it does. It would be pure energy.
Ach! God has made me see the light! He is a being of pure energy according to Einstein!
: And that, friends and neighbors, is the mathematical/scientific backup for anyone who wants to believe in an existence other than this one.
Yes!!! What sparkling mathematics you've shown us! Pray, why have you not become another Einstein, with such astounding insights?
: Especially since-- and get this one-- we all have the opportunity to be "godlike", if we can just wrap our tiny lil minds around the concept of what infinity actually IS.
Readers can see that you've done it!
: So start running, dammit, I wanna see some evolution, people!!
See why I thought this was a joke?
So which is it, Suzi? Am I right, that this is all a joke? Or is "dark clouds" right and you're serious?
AlanF