Questions Directed Towards: YOU (ex-JW)

by RAYZORBLADE 34 Replies latest jw friends

RAYZORBLADE

I thought I'd give this a go, lighten up the forum a little.
Just curious, about a few things regarding all of us who participate on here.
I have some questions, of which I will answer also.
1. How long were you a Jehovah's Witness?
2. Were you raised in it or become a JW later on in life?
3. Were you contacted via the door-to-door ministry?
4. Initially, what intrigued or drew you to the Jehovah's Witnesses then?
5. When were you baptized? Or if you weren't, mention that if you wish.
6. When did you start having doubts?
7. What else perhaps contributed to your leaving?
8. When were you disfellowshipped/disassociated?
9. Have you ever been reinstated?
10. Did you attempt to contact or have spoken with other active-JWs when you were DF/DA'd?
11. Have you ever protested/picketted a JW assembly/convention?
12. Do you miss being a Jehovah's Witness?
13. Do you still have family that are active JWs?
14. Do you believe in god/God etc.?
15. Are you politically active or have voted?
16. Would you say you have become more tolerant or open-minded generally speaking since you left?
17. Do you think that the WTBTS will crumble?
18. If you could say anything to the WTBTS and be listened to, what would you like to say?
19. What has helped you to cope, post-JW?
20. Anything else you'd like to say/add?
Please keep in mind, depending upon your status with the JWs/WTBTS, you may wish to NOT answer these, or post to the questions you feel comfortable with.
I hope no one minds these questions. Thanks in advance to those that wish to reply.
Best wishes, Rayzorblade.
RAYZORBLADE

1. How long were you a Jehovah's Witness? between 7 - 8 years
2. Were you raised in it or become a JW later on in life? Later, when I was 13/14 years of age.
3. Were you contacted via the door-to-door ministry? I was visiting our neighbour, a former JW, and they were on a 'shepherding call', I was there, and well...eventually a bible study was started with me.
4. Initially, what intrigued or drew you to the Jehovah's Witnesses then? Initially, their friendliness, and ability to rattle off scriptures for just about 'any' question.
5. When were you baptized? Or if you weren't, mention that if you wish. 1981
6. When did you start having doubts? I had doubts even while I was a JW. Just figured that I would come to a clearer understanding after more experience as a servant of Jehovah.
7. What else perhaps contributed to your leaving? My sexuality
8. When were you disfellowshipped/disassociated? I think, April/May 1984
9. Have you ever been reinstated? No
10. Did you attempt to contact or have spoken with other active-JWs when you were DF/DA'd? Yes, a few times. Very stressful too, especially when I found out they were still active.
11. Have you ever protested/picketted a JW assembly/convention? No
12. Do you miss being a Jehovah's Witness? No
13. Do you still have family that are active JWs? No
14. Do you believe in god/God etc.? No
15. Are you politically active or have voted? Yes, card carrying member of a political party here in Canada, and Yes, I have voted, MANY TIMES.
16. Would you say you have become more tolerant or open-minded generally speaking since you left? HELL YEAH!
17. Do you think that the WTBTS will crumble? I wish, but I think it'll be a long while. Peoples' mindsets would still have try recreate a similar religion, if it did crumble. Nothing is impossible.
18. If you could say anything to the WTBTS and be listened to, what would you like to say? Do you want to know what freedom truly is?
19. What has helped you to cope, post-JW? Forums like this one. Talking to other XJWs over the past several years.
20. Anything else you'd like to say/add? Even after almost 19-20 years, I still miss certain people. The shunning/DF/DA policy has ruined countless families, divided close friendships and has created silent misery, fronted by fake smiles and unquestionable acceptance. Glad to be free of it.
pr_capone

1. How long were you a Jehovah's Witness?
I began attending meetings when I was 7, baptized at 11 and left at 21. A total of 14 years.
2. Were you raised in it or become a JW later on in life?
I attended my first meeting (memorial) when I was 7.
3. Were you contacted via the door-to-door ministry?
No, I was given a copy of my book of bible stories by a co-worker of my mothers. My mom had studied previously and yeas, she was contacted door to door.
4. Initially, what intrigued or drew you to the Jehovah's Witnesses then?
I lived in Puerto Rico and spoke primarily English. There were kids at the hall there who were my age and spoke English as well.
5. When were you baptized? Or if you weren't, mention that if you wish.
I was baptized in Hutchinson, Kansas when I was 11 years old. WAY to young.
6. When did you start having doubts?
At 18 some things didnt make sence and I was getting tired of the elders kids getting away with murder. I remember thinking that even in the troof all things are political.
7. What else perhaps contributed to your leaving?
I didnt buy into the whole 144,000 bit. Did some research and I now dont believe it in the least.
8. When were you disfellowshipped/disassociated?
Looks like I am about to be.
9. Have you ever been reinstated?
Nope, nor do I wish to be
10. Did you attempt to contact or have spoken with other active-JWs when you were DF/DA'd?
I speak with all of you now, dont I???
11. Have you ever protested/picketted a JW assembly/convention?
No, but now its not out of the question due to recent treatment from certain elders.
12. Do you miss being a Jehovah's Witness?
Not in the least. I enjoy having a life.
13. Do you still have family that are active JWs?
Not anymore!!!!!
14. Do you believe in god/God etc.?
I beleive there is a god... I just dont think he takes an active part or any interest in my life.
15. Are you politically active or have voted?
If you count being n the military politicaly active then yes, but otherwise.. no
16. Would you say you have become more tolerant or open-minded generally speaking since you left?
Definately. I speak to everyone now!
17. Do you think that the WTBTS will crumble?
It has to... there is nothing else that CAN happen
18. If you could say anything to the WTBTS and be listened to, what would you like to say?
Leave me alone!
19. What has helped you to cope, post-JW?
Everyone here and my best friend Joel
20. Anything else you'd like to say/add?
I love all of you!!!!!!
JWinSF

1. How long were you a Jehovah's Witness? Officially [i.e., from baptism to disassociating] 23 years, total exposure being raised in an inactive household [mother inactive, father not a JW] 45 years.
2. Were you raised in it or become a JW later on in life? I officially started pursuing it at age 18 when my mother had a stoke, i.e., I was vulnerable.
3. Were you contacted via the door-to-door ministry? No.
4. Initially, what intrigued or drew you to the Jehovah's Witnesses then? It's neutral political stance, the promise living forever in a perfect world.
5. When were you baptized? Or if you weren't, mention that if you wish. 1971.
6. When did you start having doubts? Serious doubts started to occur after my sister had a stroke in 1987. The "loving" elders essentially did very little to help see how I was doing taking care of her.
7. What else perhaps contributed to your leaving? The real problem was after my sister and mother had to be placed into nursing homes and my niece [all of whom lived with me] got disfellowshipped and left, I had to deal with my being gay [hadn't acted on it up to that time, but I knew who I was.]
8. When were you disfellowshipped/disassociated? I first started seriously to consider leaving in October 1993. I sent in my letter of disassociation in March 1994.
9. Have you ever been reinstated? No, no desire to do so.
10. Did you attempt to contact or have spoken with other active-JWs when you were DF/DA'd? Yes, for while a very close "sister" from the congregation kept up occasional contact. However, she was prone to migraines. The stress from inner conflict started to trigger those. She ultimately decided not to go on with communication. My Uncle and Aunt, staunch JWs, at first kept up some communication until the first time that I'd gotten involved with someone. Then, the doors were shut.
11. Have you ever protested/picketted a JW assembly/convention? Not really a protest, picket. I don't like the tone that those take and I don't believe them to be productive. However, I along with some other ex-JW friends have advertised our gay/lesbian support group outside the Cow Palace where the San Francisco District Conventions take place. [See http://www.gayxjw.org/streetwork.html .]
12. Do you miss being a Jehovah's Witness? No.
13. Do you still have family that are active JWs? Yes, one.
14. Do you believe in god/God etc.? A creator or creative force, yes.
15. Are you politically active or have voted? Yes to both starting in the year that I disfellowshipped.
16. Would you say you have become more tolerant or open-minded generally speaking since you left? Much more tolerant and open-minded.
17. Do you think that the WTBTS will crumble? No. I believe that their days of rapid expansion are over.due in large part to the freedom of information available via the Internet. However, I believe that they will always appeal to some types of individuals. For example, those who can lead a "Leave It to Beaver" middle of the road existence. Also, for those who either are not capable of making decisions for themselves or choose not to make decisions for themselves, the religion is a safe haven, providing a blue print for all of life's decisions [whether or not the blue print is flawed.]
18. If you could say anything to the WTBTS and be listened to, what would you like to say? Please look at the numerous lives that you have either seriously damaged or snuffed out because of your hard-line, black and white thinking. Please change and admit to your past mistakes and to the extent possible, make amends.
19. What has helped you to cope, post-JW? Books like those from Raymond Franz that helped show me the truth behind "The Truth." Also, attending some support groups, hearing others' experiences. It's an affirmation.
20. Anything else you'd like to say/add? Nice questionnaire, quite thoughtfullly laid out.
onacruse

1. How long were you a Jehovah's Witness?
Baptized 41 years ago
2. Were you raised in it or become a JW later on in life?
Raised
3. Were you contacted via the door-to-door ministry?
4. Initially, what intrigued or drew you to the Jehovah's Witnesses then?
5. When were you baptized? Or if you weren't, mention that if you wish.
1962
6. When did you start having doubts?
1976
7. What else perhaps contributed to your leaving?
"the generation" change
8. When were you disfellowshipped/disassociated?
~1980 (apostasy) the first time, 2000 (apostasy) the (very) last time
9. Have you ever been reinstated?
1981
10. Did you attempt to contact or have spoken with other active-JWs when you were DF/DA'd?
Not before 2002
11. Have you ever protested/picketted a JW assembly/convention?
Nope
12. Do you miss being a Jehovah's Witness?
Sometimes
13. Do you still have family that are active JWs?
Yes, they all are
14. Do you believe in god/God etc.?
Yes
15. Are you politically active or have voted?
Voted, yes; active, no
16. Would you say you have become more tolerant or open-minded generally speaking since you left?
Oh yes
17. Do you think that the WTBTS will crumble?
Nope
18. If you could say anything to the WTBTS and be listened to, what would you like to say?
Serpents. offspring of vipers
19. What has helped you to cope, post-JW?
JW.com
20. Anything else you'd like to say/add?
At least I haven't spent my ENTIRE life under their control.
Craig
manon

Ok I'm going to take a crack at this.
How long were you a jw? 18 years
Were you raised in it or became one later on in life? born one
Were you contacted via the door to door ministry? no
Initially, what intrigued or drew you to the JW's then? I slowly fell in love with the teaching of the bible, christ and jehovah.
When were you baptized? Or if you weren't. The golden rule in my family was no baptism until the age of 18 for all of us. I left and was never baptized. This one for me was always riddled with guilt and sadness.
When did you start having doubts?* After my mothers disfellowshipment. She was made to carry her own cross and then was crucified on it. This was devastating to my family.
What else perhaps contributed to your leaving? The divisions between my immediate family caused by the wtbts dogma. The seperation between my sister, brother, mother, myself were intolerable for me. I decided that if everlasting life consisted of sorrow and division amongst love ones then they can keep it. And on that same token they could shove it up their asses because I wanted no part of it.
When were you disfellowshipped/disassociated? 1980
Have you ever been reinstated? no
Did you ever attempt to contact or have spoken with other active-jw when you were DF?DA? no
Have you ever protested/picketted a jw assembly/convention? no
Do you miss being a JW? no
Do you still have family that are active JW's? Yes, sister, niece, nephew, aunt, grandmother.
Do you believe in god? Yes
Are you politically active or have voted? Yes, the 3rd thing I did after walking away was to register and vote.
Would you say you have become more tolerant or open-minded genereally speaking since you left? No, I was always tolerant and I have always been a free thinker.
Do you think the WTBTS will crumble? No, nore do I care if they do.
If you could say anything to the WTBTS and be listened to what would you like to say? You must adhere to scripture not dogma. You must change your policy on family and on shunning. These practices and teachings are detrimental to our society as a whole.
What has helped you cope, post-jw? The faith in myself.
Anything else you'd like to say/add? This excercise was draining.
*I would like to add a little more history to #6. In my haste in answering these questions I failed to elaborate on my mothers crime. I focused on the punishement and grief only. My mother purchased a lottery ticket and won $5,000. This was her offense and the reason she was DF. Looking back in hindsight this reasoning borders on the ridiculous to the insane. But then again it doesn't surprise me since the elders conducting this tribunal were Moe, Larry, Curly.*
I'm not sure if this edit will work.
.
kelpie

My answers as follows
1. How long were you a Jehovah's Witness? Associated since I was 8, but only baptised for 11 years. So all up, 16 years
2. Were you raised in it or become a JW later on in life? became it as a small child
3. Were you contacted via the door-to-door ministry? mother was.
4. Initially, what intrigued or drew you to the Jehovah's Witnesses then? Pleasing my mother
5. When were you baptized? Or if you weren't, mention that if you wish. Yes
6. When did you start having doubts? at the age of 21
7. What else perhaps contributed to your leaving? falling in love with a "worldly man
8. When were you disfellowshipped/disassociated? no at yet (tho parents disowned me on 1/4/03 happy april fools)
9. Have you ever been reinstated? N\A
10. Did you attempt to contact or have spoken with other active-JWs when you were DF/DA'd? Yes my sister
11. Have you ever protested/picketted a JW assembly/convention? nope
12. Do you miss being a Jehovah's Witness? I miss the fellowship only
13. Do you still have family that are active JWs? Yes
14. Do you believe in god/God etc.? Yes i believe in god
15. Are you politically active or have voted? not yet
16. Would you say you have become more tolerant or open-minded generally speaking since you left? yup
17. Do you think that the WTBTS will crumble? Unfortunately, no
18. If you could say anything to the WTBTS and be listened to, what would you like to say? get rid of disfellowshipping
19. What has helped you to cope, post-JW? my fiance and this forum
20. Anything else you'd like to say/add? You are not alone. we are all here to support each other. And I have enjoyed this thread
Big Tex

1. How long were you a Jehovah's Witness?
18 years.
2. Were you raised in it or become a JW later on in life?
Started studying at age 9, baptized at 11, left at 27
3. Were you contacted via the door-to-door ministry?
Yep. My house was the ubiquitous return visit that had moved away.
4. Initially, what intrigued or drew you to the Jehovah's Witnesses then?
I was disillusioned with the Methodist church because they would not answer my questions. They also did not take me seriously since I was just a kid. I remember the preacher telling me to "just go color pictures of Jesus." When I started studying with the Witnesses, an elderly sister sat down on the floor with me every week and we studied the Bible only. No literature. Ever. Any question I had (and I had a lot) she flipped open the Bible and made me read the scripture. Naturally I thought this was the way the whole religion was and I turned a blind eye to anything that contradicted that presumption.
5. When were you baptized? Or if you weren't, mention that if you wish.
March 1974.
6. When did you start having doubts?
1989; when I was 27 over the issue of having two eyewitnesses to an act of child abuse.
7. What else perhaps contributed to your leaving?
The permeating arrogance, judgemental holier than thou attitude and lack of love in the organization. It was everywhere, among everyone.
8. When were you disfellowshipped/disassociated?
Never have been. Never been counseled. Never been "talked to". I was threatened with it once by a circuit overseer. He told me to shut up about my abusive father or he'd see to it personally that I was DF'd. I told him to Foxtrot Oscar.
9. Have you ever been reinstated?
See No. 8.
10. Did you attempt to contact or have spoken with other active-JWs when you were DF/DA'd?
N/A
11. Have you ever protested/picketted a JW assembly/convention?
Nope. Doubt I ever will either.
12. Do you miss being a Jehovah's Witness?
Used to. Not anymore. Glad I'm out and wouldn't go back. Ever.
13. Do you still have family that are active JWs?
My abusive sperm donor is still a ministerial servant in good standing. I think my sisters are still active, but I haven't seen or spoken with them in 9 years, so who knows? Frankly it is not humanly possible for me to care less.
14. Do you believe in god/God etc.?
Yep. I'm most comfortable expressing that belief through Christianity.
15. Are you politically active or have voted?
Nope. Haven't fully resolved this one yet.
16. Would you say you have become more tolerant or open-minded generally speaking since you left?
After what the Witnesses did to me I will never sit in judgment on another human being. I know what it feels like and I don't want to be the reason for causing those feelings in others.
17. Do you think that the WTBTS will crumble?
Nope.
18. If you could say anything to the WTBTS and be listened to, what would you like to say?
Change the evil two witness rule. Don't require sisters to scream before rape. Force elders to stop pulling rape victims before a committee. Require and demand all BOEs everywhere to instantly report allegations of incest, sexualy abuse and physical abuse to the police BEFORE calling Brooklyn.
Be nicer to your people.
19. What has helped you to cope, post-JW?
Getting away from that insane, mean spirited, demanding bass-ackwards world of JWs. Well that and $10,000 worth of psycho-therapy. Who can I send the bill to?
20. Anything else you'd like to say/add?
If this is ever read by anyone in authority in Brooklyn, all I can really say is this:
Brothers, let us not assassinate innocents any further. You have done enough. There are people being hurt out here every day. Have you no sense of decency sirs, at long last? Have you left no sense of common human decency?
Max Divergent

1. How long were you a Jehovah's Witness?
From baptisim, it'd be about 12 years or so. From being in the TMS, it'd be 20 years.
2. Were you raised in it or become a JW later on in life?
Raised
6. When did you start having doubts?
After I expereinced an inappropriate judicial action. The action was reversed after advice from the CO which was good, but it breached the trust that I'd had in the organisation. It was obvioulsy improper to have a committee, but they did it with energy and joy and vigour and at least one of them really seemed to enjoy it. I started to see things with wiser and less rosy eyes after that.
Then I went to university and learned how to think and assess evidence. That just nailed it on the head because I could defeat the JW teachings both logocally and emotionally.
7. What else perhaps contributed to your leaving?
Well... one thing was that I got to like, umm.. pleasing my wife in the bedroom and you can only do that reliably by fornicating in the WTS's view. It just made the whole thing even more farcicle and absurd!
8. When were you disfellowshipped/disassociated?
Stopped associating about 4 years ago, or is it 5 now?
9. Have you ever been reinstated?
N/A, but I've been in a KH since only once for a family wedding and was treated civily by everyone, except that the family used smoke and mirorrs to make sure non-believers didn't go to the reception which was strange. Never had any desire to have anything to do with it again.
10. Did you attempt to contact or have spoken with other active-JWs when you were DF/DA'd?
Nah, I said my piece once to family members and have left it alone since. If I'm pushed by JW's I'll tell them that my view has changed and what I think now, but not in a way that they could think I was trying to change their minds. Rarely happens.
11. Have you ever protested/picketted a JW assembly/convention?
No way. I don't care that much what others do. I'd probably know half the attendents and end up having coffee with them instead of picketing.
12. Do you miss being a Jehovah's Witness?
Not at all. I am infinatly happier now and have nothing to miss. It's sort of sad to have walked away from 1/3 of a lifetimes relatioships, but that's their rules not just my choice.
13. Do you still have family that are active JWs?
Most are. Some aren't. Live a long way from any of them. It's irritating but not a big issue to those who aren't, except when provoked! The rest of them might come around one day.
14. Do you believe in god/God etc.?
I don't discount the possibility of there being 'somthing out there' that we don't understand and expain away as spirits, but don't consider that to be divine in the nature of a Jehovah-like God. Extra dimentional beings maybe? :-) In general I regard myself as a lite athiest.
15. Are you politically active or have voted?
One of the first things I did was vote. Then I joined a political party. I'm interested in those things. I think the JW's are right-wing conservitives in socio-political tems and that disturbed me. I'm a moderate centerist.
16. Would you say you have become more tolerant or open-minded generally speaking since you left?
For sure. My mind isn't pre-made-up by some set of arbitary rules.
17. Do you think that the WTBTS will crumble?
Eventually maybe. Not soon though. But then again, things can change very quickly and unexpectedly.
18. If you could say anything to the WTBTS and be listened to, what would you like to say?
Guys, it just dosn't matter that much.
19. What has helped you to cope, post-JW?
My wife leaving too, this place (and H2O previoulsy), leaving the city we'd been JW's in, accepting worldly people. Therapy.
20. Anything else you'd like to say/add?
I just want to know if you're a WTS mole seeking out personal information so as to hunt down and discredit apostates living seemingly ordinary lives hidden away anonomously in the suburban sprawl waiting to spring terror and persecution on God's people when they least expect it?
(Tounge firmly in cheek)
Cheers, Max
home_and_dry

1. How long were you a Jehovah's Witness?
19 years total, 6 years TMS and 4 years baptized.
2. Were you raised in it or become a JW later on in life?
I was raised.
3. Were you contacted via the door-to-door ministry?
Nope, but a couple of Mormons had a go recently!
4. Initially, what intrigued or drew you to the Jehovah's Witnesses then?
It was more a case of being 'dragged' than 'drawn'.
5. When were you baptized? Or if you weren't, mention that if you wish.
1990 Age 15.
6. When did you start having doubts?
I could never get the whole 'Anointed' thing. And I couldn't work out how a 'loving' God would allow so much suffering just so he could say "I told you so" to Satan.
7. What else perhaps contributed to your leaving?
Loneliness. Number one reason. I also felt that I was never going to be good enough and I would rather die at Armaggedon and have a life first than be miserable as a JW and still probably die at Armaggedon anyway.
8. When were you disfellowshipped/disassociated?
Yep. I was DF'd in 1991
9. Have you ever been reinstated?
Yep. I was Renistated in 1992.
10. Did you attempt to contact or have spoken with other active-JWs when you were DF/DA'd?
I had one JW friend who lived a long way away and I was still in contact with him while I was DF'd.
11. Have you ever protested/picketted a JW assembly/convention?
No, I don't feel that they are particularly effective but I am quite good at the subtle aproach!
12. Do you miss being a Jehovah's Witness?
No chance. The only thing is miss is the ducking and diving that myself and my friends had to do to get out of any particular JW activity, like spending the conventions wandering around and hiding from attendants, that kind of thing was always good for a laugh. But being a JW, I certainly do not miss!
13. Do you still have family that are active JWs?
Yes, two family members.
14. Do you believe in god/God etc.?
I really don't know.
15. Are you politically active or have voted?
I did vote in the first General Election after I left for good but haven't bothered since as all the political parties are pretty much as bad as each other.
16. Would you say you have become more tolerant or open-minded generally speaking since you left?
Absolutely. But then again I think I was quite like that even when I was a dub. For examle, when I was a a JW I always believed that a persons sexuality is as much a part of that person as their hair colour or the colour of their skin and so I couldn't understand why JW's were so bigoted towards homosexuality. And for the record I am a straight female so there was no bias in my opinion, its just how I always felt. But kept quiet on that on for many years.
17. Do you think that the WTBTS will crumble?
I would like to think so but even if it did, the dubs couldnt live without some organisation dictating thier every move so other organisations would spring up anyway.
18. If you could say anything to the WTBTS and be listened to, what would you like to say?
I would ask them how they could sleep at night.
19. What has helped you to cope, post-JW?
My true friends outside the borg. My kids. This board, and Ray Franz' books.
20. Anything else you'd like to say/add?
It feels good to be free.

Questions Directed Towards: YOU (ex-JW)

Share this