by LovesDubs 19 Replies latest jw friends
Way to go Jim!! I know its hard..its one day at a time. My grandfather was an alcoholic, and my dad lived in fear that it would "catch him" too some day. So every time I have a glass of wine in my hand he "reminds me" that it runs in the family.
Hugs
Congratulations, SFJim! QUITE an accomplishment.
LovesDubs,
How annoying is it for you to be reminded that alcoholism "runs in the family"? I ask because I am guardian of my grand-niece in part because of rampant alcoholism on her mother's side of the family, and a case or two on my side (her father's) as well. It is my not-so-humble-opinion that it would be better for her should she NEVER pick up a drink! She's only a pre-teen now, so what's your take on how I might handle this?
To all,
We only had one elder in our Hall who was likely an alcoholic. He was an old-timer and talked/joked too much about alcohol (and not being able to have any at certain congregational picnics because of the park laws) to think that it was not a major part of his life. But I never saw him flat out drunk. Not in 7 years.
However, as regards AA? I know of one sister that had a drinking problem and our elder body actually encouraged her to attend AA meetings. So I don't know if there's been a change in policy towards that or whether it was just the opinion of our particular group of elders that AA would be helpful based on their own experience. As so many of you have noticed, a LOT depends on the OPINION of the elders, and less depends on anything GOD might have to say (or not).
Anyone out there who needs help? The Bible clearly condemns drunkenness. The Bible does NOT clearly condemn Alcoholics Anonymous.
Deal with your problem however you can. Whether or not you care what God thinks, you and your family are being hurt physically & emotionally by your disease. If you can find a way to stop the hurt, please do so.
outnfree
It was while a JDub I learnt to make my own booze!
You could go to any one of our homes and we would all have botles and casks of this and that bubbling away ...
We had plum, mulberry, billberry, rosehip, grape and whatever we could get hold of wine brewing away almost all spring andthen came the summer season and we would break out our brew at our christmas day picnic where we would alldisappear for the day and get pickled. Needless to say, our plonk was about 100% proof and boy did it feel good going down.
JanG
However, as regards AA? I know of one sister that had a drinking problem and our elder body actually encouraged her to attend AA meetings. So I don't know if there's been a change in policy towards that or whether it was just the opinion of our particular group of elders that AA would be helpful based on their own experience. As so many of you have noticed, a LOT depends on the OPINION of the elders, and less depends on anything GOD might have to say (or not).
I believe that the decision of whether alcoholic JW's should be allowed to attend AA meetings or not is being left up to the individual congregation's body of elders. I have never seen any official Watchtower statement in print about AA. (Has anyone else?) I corresponded with an active JW a couple of years ago who asked his PO if he could atend AA meetings. The PO told him that it was all right, just as long as he avoided meetings which met in church basements (Babylon the Great, you know), and to be especially careful at Christmas time by not attending meetings which - get this - had a Christmas tree in the meeting room! It sounded to me like the PO was in greater fear of demons than demon rum!
In this area there was a sister who had rented a room from an older one. The older one kicked her out. I inquired of the family what the reasons were and was told just needed someone older. The sister had asked to rent a room from me.
Well, she lasted 6 weeks at my place. She was apparently going on benders and would stay holed up for 36 hours. But I had no proof and just asked her to move.
She then got another sister to rent a room to her and was very blatant about her binge drinking. We had both told the local elders, but apparently nothing was done.
In fact, when I was speaking to an elder, I mentioned some cigarette butts and he was much more interested in that than the drunkenness.
Well now the sister is dead from an apparent overdose of drugs and alcohol.
It seems she had been at it for at least the last ten years, but never df'd.
But, I have doubts and would be considered much worse! Go figure. . .
Patio
One thing I know for sure.....'I'd rather have a bottle in front of me,than a frontal lobotomy!'
Outaservice (Who switched to Lemonade after he left the Org.)
LovesDubs,
How annoying is it for you to be reminded that alcoholism "runs in the family"? I ask because I am guardian of my grand-niece in part because of rampant alcoholism on her mother's side of the family, and a case or two on my side (her father's) as well. It is my not-so-humble-opinion that it would be better for her should she NEVER pick up a drink! She's only a pre-teen now, so what's your take on how I might handle this?"
Well, the more you condemn it the more likely it will be that she will want to try it. Its inevitable really. And as a preteen she probably doesnt understand the whole inherited tendency thing. So, slow and steady as she goes :) I spent many nights going to the next town with my dad, having to stay in the other room while he helped my grandmother get my grandfather off the floor of the kitchen and propped up in a chair, then cleaned up, then put in bed. I wasnt allowed to watch this whole thing. But my fathers fear of alcohol stayed with me. He would have ONE beer and ONE cigarette each night before going to bed. I think it was his personal challenge to fight both things from becoming addictions. Hes like that. Now when I go to their home he and my step mom, they make a point of telling me how they "keep it around for guests, and have to dust the bottles off" making me feel bad about asking for any. Which makes me feel like they accuse me.
Just dont push. Being informative is one thing. Not allowing her to make her choices, and use her brain is another thing. :)
I too knew of one elder in our hall who drank a bit too much, one of most kindest of humble souls you want to meet. I would work with his wife in service, sometimes pioneer, then back to her house, there was always a bottle of Jim Crow? think thats what it was, I would always look on the counter to see the level in the bottle if it changed much in days we worked together, and it saddened me that it went down too much, but like I said there was no kinder brother I have evermet, sad to say he passed on after we left, wife married another elder in three months.
Thanks, LovesDubs!
I am married to a native Spaniard so drinking is a familiar part of this family's environment, and my grand-niece has never seen either of us drunk. My husband's very European viewpoint is to let them learn to drink at home -- with watered down wine at meals, for instance -- so alcohol won't become the enticing taboo that it is for many adolescents. So my children have or will taste many kinds of alcoholic beverages over the years. So to us (and I hope we're conveying this to her!) it's not "demon rum", but neither is it something to be abused.
I think I'll stay the course and try very hard not to become too anxious over the whole issue. I do not want to be like my OWN mother who, because SHE cannot drink more than two beers without becoming sloppy, thinks anyone who drinks virtually any amount of ANYTHING is going to become drunk and possibly an alcoholic. It infuriates me -- because I can drink at least two STRONG drinks before I'm drunk!
I DO want to trust her to grow up to make wise choices with her own brain!
Thanks again,
outnfee
I remember reading about lots of drinking by young Witnesses in Sweden. They drank after leaving the assembly. I wonder if its under control? I think not.
