What Was The Final Straw That Made You Leave The Organisation?
by SpannerintheWorks 60 Replies latest jw friends
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Maverick
I wrote the CO a very concise letter outlining all the crap that happened to me over the last four years as a Dud. It was not a rant, and I did not name names. He wrote me back telling me he would look into what I claimed when he can back around to my Hall. I knew he was full of s--t right then. He had just left my Hall so it would be six months before he came back. All the brothers knew I travel and would be away during the CO's next visit. And the congs. were splitting up so there would be no way to piece together what I told this clown. He was handling me and I knew it. F.U. Mr. Casper! Maverick
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cruzanheart
Being really stubborn, it took a whole haystack to get me out. First straw was watching what the "loving" elders and various congregations did to Big Tex. Another straw or six was feeling invisible in the congregation because I didn't have a man at my side. Add a bundle of straws for the number of times I invited people over but never got invited back, and add a huge bundle when that started applying to our children. Additional straws for the way my father was treated before, during and after his disfellowshipping and reinstatement. This process took about 15 years, by the way (I'm REALLY stubborn).
Final straw: the day I took Jackson, who was suffering from post-viral arthritis, to the Sunday meeting in a wheelchair and, out of 150+ people, only three came up and asked what happened to him. The P.O. perfunctorily asked and when I started to tell him, he interrupted me after about 5 seconds with "well, Jehovah will give us strength to endure," and walked off. I walked out and haven't been back since. Every time I pray for Jehovah to show me whether I made the right decision, some elder or congregation member does something really mean or stupid, so I think I've had my answer.
Hi-O, Silver, away!
Nina
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bikerchic
For me it wasn't just one straw but a series of events that happened over the last 10 years I was still struggling to make the "truth my own". I could write a book, but it would be boring......I do know the thing that finally made me realize this is a bunch of crap was a phone conversation with an Elder who told me that the very things I was quoting to him from the Watchtower on how it says the Elders and the rank and file Christians should act in harmony with the FDS, the Bible and the Watchtower Society, lets see how did he put it......."yes the Watchtower says that, but in acutallity it's just NOT THE WAY IT GOES DOWN WHEN YOU ARE DEALING WITH THE ELDERS, they are directed by Jehovah and they decide how things are to be done in the Congregation." I think I told him the Elders were corrupt, the congregation's spirituallity was in jeapordy, and he told me if I said that again I could be taken before a JD and counciled for Apostacy. Hummm guess I saved him the bother eh?
Katie (I'll go back when pigs fly!)
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nowisee
well...in the 10 years prior to leaving there were doctrinal issues, there were marital issues, there were sexual issues, there were issues of conduct, there were personality conflicts...
but when i finally left it really was a straw.
where i live in the northeast us temperatures in wintertime could easily reach 5-l0 degrees below zero. it was the 1970's, when even jw women were wearing (if not miniskirts) very short skirts. one day i went to the po and told him i was absolutely freezing everytime i went out in service and would it be alright if i wore slacks or a pantsuit to keep warm. (pantsuits at that time were accepted office attire for females). he said he thought it would be ok, but that wts had not ok'd such attire for females. i told him i would write a letter which i subsequently did and brought it to him to get his permission to send to brooklyn. he absolutely panicked and said i could not send such letter, saying, "what will they think of me??" it was then that i realized that local body of elders were just pharisees, binding up unscriptural burdens on the flock.
pretty soon after that i was gone.
it was the last straw.
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Dansk
lv4fer,
Incredible! Mine is an almost exact replica - except I left and THEN read Crisis of Conscience.
Dansk
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czarofmischief
When that chick took off her shirt.
CZAR
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greven
What led up to this was my gradual realization that Watchtower writers were clueless about science, but wrote as if God himself were speaking. The Society's continual ranting against going to college also grated. I gradually realized that these men are not only clueless, but intellectually dishonest. Who would want to take direction from such people? Especially given their arrogance in claiming to speak for God?
My situation mirrors that of Alan F's. I have always been a rather curious child, the type that opens up radio's and clocks to see what's inside (and tries to shove it back, looking innocent). In my youth I just accepted all the teachings. Yet, when I became more interested in the underlaying reasons and arguments presented to support the doctrines they seemed to fall apart. I went to college (biology) with support of my parents and learned how to evaluate reasoning and arguments, how science uses trustworthy methods in searching for truth without claiming to have the absolute truth. After I leaned how to think as opposed to what to think there was no way back. It all seemed too absurd after that.
Greven
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dawn27
When the article came out about the "change of understanding" requarding the generation of 1914 doctrine and they denied teaching it but said that "some brothers and sisters have chosen to view this as a literal generation." They offered no apology for teaching the wrong thing for years on end and instead blamed the flock for their mistake. This was when I started having doubts and realising that the lack of humility that I had noticed came from the organization itself. I fell in love with an unbeliever (a wonderful man) and the way that I was treated by the elders, catty sisters and a few family members reinforced the feelings. I then read here about how judicial meetings are really handled, and this allowed me to avoid the "questions" that they can use to DA you in absentia. I am now happily married and going back to school.
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SpannerintheWorks
Alan,
Hi Spanner,
: What? A whole year before you realised there claims were false? You surprise me!
No, that's not what I meant
I Know, I was just "pulling your leg"! Sounds like you had a pretty traumatic time in the latter years, though, Alan.
Scully,
"If you turn your back on The Truth TM , your three beautiful children would be better off if you took them out in the back yard and blew their heads off with a gun. That way they won't go down with you at Armageddon TM and will have a resurrection in the Paradise TM ."
That "best friend" of yours almost sounds psychotic! Ah, yes, she was defending the Watchtower Society, I knew there was a reason for it!
Matty,
I haven't really got over it yet.
It's Watchtower psychological backmail that is making you feel that way. Don't let it affect you. They aren't worth it.
RAZORBLADE,
I felt guilty and worthless and without Jehovah's favour.
More of the same.
So glad I am free of that nightmare.
Well done!
Dins,
I always read depressing books to perhaps make me feel better
If that wasn't so sad, it would be funny.
Metatron,
The Bulgarian Blood Compromise stunned me.
Me too. I have yet to meet a Witness who admits that this is true, and not just a fabrication.
Anti-absolutist,
"You know Brad, you are the head of the household and if you don't get re-instated Brandon will die at Armageddon".
More Watchtower psychological blackmail.
Ravyn,
I wrote the WTBS asking advice on how to deal with family relationships under the circumstances, I pleaded with them, and was flat out told that I could not have anything to do with you period. YOU were considered apostate by every congregation I attended. The letters I got back from WTBS forbid me to even PRAY for you! But you never knew that because when you did come back I did not want to hurt your feelings or undermine your supposedly weak faith(their words not mine). So Dad you just don't know what I put up with from them in those 11 years.
It is quite incredible how evil this Society can be!
Cruzanheart,
The P.O. perfunctorily asked and when I started to tell him, he interrupted me after about 5 seconds with "well, Jehovah will give us strength to endure," and walked off.
Ditto.
Every time I pray for Jehovah to show me whether I made the right decision
No need. You did.
Bikerchic,
I was quoting to him from the Watchtower on how it says the Elders and the rank and file Christians should act in harmony with the FDS, the Bible and the Watchtower Society, lets see how did he put it......."yes the Watchtower says that, but in acutallity it's just NOT THE WAY IT GOES DOWN WHEN YOU ARE DEALING WITH THE ELDERS, they are directed by Jehovah and they decide how things are to be done in the Congregation."
Watchtower hypocrisy.
Nowisee,
it was the 1970's, when even jw women were wearing (if not miniskirts) very short skirts.
Come back, 1970's, all is forgiven!
Greven,
learned how to evaluate reasoning and arguments
No wonder you left!
Dawn27,
"change of understanding" requarding the generation of 1914 doctrine and they denied teaching it but said that "some brothers and sisters have chosen to view this as a literal generation." They offered no apology for teaching the wrong thing for years on end and instead blamed the flock for their mistake
This ALONE proves that the WBTS is NOT "God's Organisation"!
Spanner