Could you? Would you? (page 2)

OUTLAW

Breaking up with a spouse can be just as tramatic as a death..I haven`t found anyone I want to hook up with and it`s been over a decade..Maybe I never will..In the mean time,there`s still plenty of nice ladies out there I haven`t met yet..BWA-Ha-ha-ha-ha!..LOL!.....OUTLAW

SheilaM

Well Thunder said it all didn't he I want him to be happy but with this attitude I have to take my damn vitamins and make sure I stick around

As for me I wouldn't do that to someone they could never compare to Thunder and how we feel about each other, so to try to make someone live with such a ghost would be cruel and futile. I wouldn't do anything to myself (nor would Thunder despite what he says) because we owe it to our children and grandchildren to not make them deal with two deaths.

COMF

I'm supremely happy with my life the way it is now (close friends, no monogamous commitment). No reason to change what's working just fine.

Scully

Prisca:

I'm not going to answer your questions (I believe in the US, they call it "pleading the Fifth" ), but I am very touched by all those beautiful, deeply loving replies others have made about their mates.

What you folks have is a gift and I can tell how much you treasure each other. Well done and congratulations! What you've found most people only wish for their entire lives.

Love, Scully

Dansk

I've got the best guy in the world. Dj

How can you possibly say THAT when I'm here!

Seriously, it's a question one can't answer until it happens - which I pray never will as I've never been so happy. I've been married to Physio 25 years this year. I had a lousy childhood - fostered twice. Physio gave me a reason for living. I love her to bits!!!!!!

I could never see myself marrying again and I know my kids wouldn't want me too, either.

Physio says I'd never find anyone else who'd put up with me

Dansk

SpiceItUp

I'd be shattered if anything ever happened to my honey ....and even though its still fairly new I could never see myself with anyone else. The thought alone makes me shudder.

to you know who I love you lots and lots (and even more than that).

Spice of the I refuse to apoligize for getting mushy class

TresHappy

No way. I would just fornicate...

sandy

Though I am not married yet I think if my honie of 4 years now passed on I would never find anyone to replace him. But feelings change and hope lives on. As much as most of us say we would not find anyone new I think many if not most of us would. That is just life we need to go on.

Of course you have to look at your circumstances. If you have children, how old they are I think should determine if you remarry or not. I think it's wise to wait untill they are older if they are young teenagers or preteens.

I hope we never find ourselves in this situation and if you have already you have my best wishes.

nowisee

well my first was 7 yrs of hell with the jw...

my second has been l5 years of bliss (with an occasional quick blip) with an unbelievably wonderful man...

i often say that what i hope is that we both go quickly together. it would be terrible for either one of us to lose the other...

if not i would rather go first, quickly if possible.....(selfish i know)

if he were to go first i just can't imagine finding someone else, or even wanting to find someone else...

that having all been said, you never know about these things because life is just full of surprises.

Sara Annie

It's an interesting question. My husband and I have actually talked about it (sounds a little creepy, but we talk about everything) and both decided that if one of us died, we'd want the other person to find love again (with a stipulation that the surviving spouse not get over the other too quickly, of course :)). I have to admit that I can't imagine being married to anyone else, it just doesn't seem possible that I could ever love someone they way I love him. Add to that the fact that he's promised to outlive me, and I hope I never find myself without him. But then again, life is notorious for not ending up exactly how we think it should, and we adapt to whatever situation we are given. I never saw myself married to someone who'd been married before, or having stepchildren and a blended family, and it turns out I'm exactly where I belong.

As to marriage after the death of a spouse, there are horror stories galore from children and friends of widowed men and women who remarry. As for us, we've had the most wonderful role model for a surviving spouse's remarriage in my Father in Law. My husband's mother died the year after we got married after a three year battle with breast cancer. Her loss was devastating to my husband (and myself, she was a wonderful woman) and, of course, to my FIL. Two years after her death, my FIL met a lovely woman he began to see socially, and after about a year it was obvious that they had fallen in love. Was it difficult at first to see him to someone else? You betcha. My husband (and I) had a difficult time, at first, but my FIL was honest about his feelings, and told us that he and my MIL has spoken about remarriage before her death, and that she wanted him to love again. It made sense, but when they announced their intention to marry, it was still difficult emotionally to accept what made perfect intellectual sense. What made the situation immeasurably easier to deal with was how this new love in his life assimilated herself into our lives. I think what impressed me immediately is how she was adamant that my MIL's memory be kept alive. Her feeling was that my MIL had been such a defining force in her new husband's life, that she was grateful to her for helping him to become the man she loved. When they were setting up house before the wedding, one of the first things she did was go through the family pictures and choose which photos of my MIL my FIL would like displayed. A picture of my FIL, MIL, husband and his sister hangs on the same wall that a new picture of the couple taken after their wedding is on. She is genuine, loving, kind and makes my FIL very happy. She knows she'll never replace my MIL, but her presence in the family has been an unexpected pleasure. I think that finding happiness in love once in a lifetime is amazing. Finding it twice must be a miracle.

Could you? Would you?

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