Happy about having been a JW? (page 2)

La-Bellamargarita

I can't say that I am happy about having been a JW, but like many others I would say it has helped me in some ways to be a better and more understanding person. Having believed something I now find totally unbelievable for many years I can be more tolerant of others who have strange ideas about life, and I know that we should never give up on one another because we can all change.

Moreover, if I had never been a Witness and known the misery and despair of life within the organisation, not to mention the pain and anxiety of exiting, I would not be so appreciative now of how good life is. I would probably not be as strong a person as I now am, of course I appreciate that this is not the case for every ex JW, some I know end up taking years to recover; I'm pretty well over it now after three long years, thankfully

La-bellamargarita

unique1

I can honestly say I was glad to have the experience. It has made me a stronger person and more of an individual as opposed to a follower of the crowd. Being and outcast in every part of society taught me to not be afraid to be different. Unfortunately for the JW's it also taught me to rely on myself and not on what others told me. Hence my falling away. I am not completely gone yet, still go to the KH about once every 2 weeks merely to please my mother. Again I agree with the others that I did gain a thorough knowledge of the bible and yes it does come in handy with Jeopardy. I did also make several great friends.

Don't get me wrong, it left me with alot of emotional shit to deal with as well, but the only regret I have is not going to college. Really wish my parents had been more willing to let me go, but the society says no, so that is the way it went.

blondie

Just about as happy as having been a victim of sexual abuse. Sure, something good might have come out of it, but I'm positive there would have been a better road to take to achieve those things.

Blondie

dedalus

No, not at all, although I'm glad to have read the bible. Thing is, I've basically had to reread it since leaving, or parts of it anyway, since my previous reading was so ... biased.

Other than that, being a Witness really, really sucked.

Dedalus

Big Tex

I think that whatever good comes out of being a Witness is entirely because of the individual involved. The religion and lifestyle they demand is harsh, mean, full of guilt and relentless. Having said that, I think that many people get some good out of the experience, but they do so because of the real person they are inside and not because of the arbitrary demands of a corporate religion. If they come to know God better, or live a better life or meet a better person or find the love of their life, it is because of their own goodness and determination to find something better in this life.

I think we are all heroes deep down, it's just that some of us haven't realized it yet.

onacruse

First, La-Bellamargarita and unique1, welcome to the forum!

This may sound rather sanguine, but...I have neither regret nor happiness about having been raised a JW. That's the way my life worked out to be for the first 50 years; so be it. I have no regret about it because I acted in every way I possibly could with integrity and honesty. I have no happiness about it because I can now see the damage it did to me and others.

Life is what I am doing with the present and future, not about what I did (or what was done to me) in the past. Insofar as I am a product of that environment, then it is in my power to gradually understand how those experiences have molded me, reconstruct my life to a healthier pattern, and share with others as a go along the road.

Craig

bikerchic

Yeah what he said:

First, La-Bellamargarita and unique1, welcome to the forum!
This may sound rather sanguine, but...I have neither regret nor happiness about having been raised a JW. That's the way my life worked out to be for the first 50 years; so be it. I have no regret about it because I acted in every way I possibly could with integrity and honesty. I have no happiness about it because I can now see the damage it did to me and others.
Life is what I am doing with the present and future, not about what I did (or what was done to me) in the past. Insofar as I am a product of that environment, then it is in my power to gradually understand how those experiences have molded me, reconstruct my life to a healthier pattern, and share with others as a go along the road.
Craig

That's my man, my soulmate! We think so much alike! I love you sweetie!

Katie........sigh

RAYZORBLADE

Hey Brummie, sad to say, I cannot really look back with any happiness.

I had a furtive sense of happiness while an active Dub. But overall, I was not happy, but figured that was 'world conditions' etc., and well you know...with the Dubs, there was an 'answer for everything', no matter what it was.

It was hell for me. I almost got married, but didn't thankfully. I supressed my sexuality for years.

After I left, I still had a lingering JW mindset that held me back for a few more years.

In retrospect, I'm afraid I have nothing positive to relate.

I'm just happy to be where I am, and here, without fearing reprecussions for stating just that. No more guilt.

Swan

Absolutely not!

I feel that my whole life growing up was a lie. I feel cheated. I feel robbed. I was forced into a mold into which I could not fit, and I feel chronically injured as a result. I have trouble functioning in the world. It is getting easier than it was, but it has taken a lot of work. It is a lonely life. Few around me understand what I, what we, have been through. Few can appreciate the horror. Few can understand the pain.

We are the pioneers. We are the trailblazers. In each family there are black sheep who see the blackness; have dark shadows of doubts. We are the first to see there is no sense in nonsense; no order to the random lies.

As a punishment my entire family has been taken from me. It's like a Grimm fairy tale. My family has been placed under an evil spell and there is no way for me to wake them up. There is no way to get them to see reason or accept reality. They are in a dream world and have been all their lives. I was the only one to wake up and as a result, I am outcast. As apart from their world am I as night is from day, as dream is from consciousness. In my dreams only they exist. I awaken and they disappear, like shadowy wraiths that fade into wisps.

They said they loved me, but it was all a lie. It wasn't true love. True love doesn't behave as indecently as this. It is not something you turn on or off conditionally. Tough love? "You want love? Tough!"

It has been so long now I wonder did I ever know them? Were they real? Or did I imagine it all. If I did, I must be demented to invent such a terrible life.

Just when I think I have moved beyond their reach, tendrils of memories yank me back.

"Our lives are not our own but in the possession of others, our parents. Our lives are defined by the whims, caprices, cruelties of others. That genetic web, the ties of blood. It was the oldest curse, older than God. Am I loved? Am I wanted? Who will want me, if my parents don't? "

-- Joyce Carol Oates, We Were the Mulvaneys

How can we escape them? Like birds taking wing we can fly, but eventually, inevitably we must return to earth.

" As you wait in the darkness for wings to set you free,

You are bound by your silent legacy. "

-- Melissa Etheridge

Tammy

logansrun

Sure, there were happy moments. I was raised in the JWs and cannot truthfully say that it was completely backward. I still grew up loving Star Wars and eating pizza, but the bad, over-all, outweighs the good.

I must say that I appreciate a few things about my JW experience that are directly as a result of being a JW. For starters, I have almost no fear of public speaking -- at all. Even though I was spewing out twisted JW doctrine (I tried to make it sound logical and fun), I at least had the opportunity to speak in front of an audience two or three times a month. Plus, pioneering for seven years helped me develop my one-on-one speaking skills. I also learned a great deal about the Bible (however a parochial view that was) and organizational procedures in general. I'm also thankful for the friendships I had when I was in, even though they are lost now.

On the other hand, practically everything I just mentioned could be said about a number of other religious groups, like the Mormons. Also, there were plenty of things that I didn't get to do that I'm paying for now.

Once history takes it's course it's hard to try and imagine a re-write of it.

Bradley

Happy about having been a JW?

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