I'm stressed

by shera 28 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  shera

  Hello people who read this post by me....

  Sometimes I don't know why I start my own threads...not any body really responds to me.I thought I had friends here,that I could whine and be a big sookie to and that would be ok.sorrie if I offend anyone here who does care.

  Well,some of you may know I have a disabled child with autism.I am at my end of my rope with him.I love my son a great deal but sadly to say.I may be placing him in a home.For he can get the help he needs.I know there isnot much help for austic people and I know I basically get no help for Matthew.(Petty I am still thankful for what you tried to do for me,you mean a great deal to me) I have asked for help,over and over.I asked for teaching for myself,for I could help my son.It will not be givin to me. I get some goverenment help for my son,whcich is 300 a month for care ,trasportation.It doesnt help at all.People want 10 an hour or more to take my son out,and I have to pay for places to bring him....gezzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  My son is naked all the time,he has started his poo smearing habit again and he is doing things that I dont care to mention.this may gross people out..but my son has worms and he has had them for 2 yrs.I have been treating him and the whole family over and over.I have brought him to doctors and the hospital for them to do something to get rid of them..but they wont help me.I keep giving him the medication and i cant get rid of them!I clean like a nutt in this place.He has tile on his floor,no carpet.I don't understand why professionals wont help me.I ask and ask,over and over and the help is just not there.

  There has been other people in this province that has had to put their child in a home,that is the only way they will get the help they need here.They won't help the parents,but they will help the child in someone eleses home.

  My son isn't going to have a life,with no help.Being with me,is no good for him.I cannot offer him anything.I love him so much.

  I made a thread awhile ago about my health and its not too great.My right kidney is not fuctioning....so to say it failing and my liver has a swollen vein.Good thing we dont need 2kidneys and a full liver...

  Gezzz man I may as well write yahs all a book and mail it to yahs.....buuuuttt

  the past couple of months,my man just isn't giving me what I need.He leaves allll the time,and he thinks thats ok.I work all day and when I get home he leaves.He puts his friends first,family last.He says he's not cheating....*shrugs*

  I don't have much help,it feels like its just me doing all the "hard" work.My family doesnt help me when it comes to my son.My frineds just dont know how to handle him.

  Well there is more but I'll just stop here...

  thanks (this may go under the wrong topic..still not sure how to do that part)
• 

  SpiceItUp

  ((((((((((((((((((((Shera)))))))))))))))))

  How old is your child? If he is young (I Don't know what area you are in) you might be able to go to an Early Intervention Program or the Publics School System should have some kind of program. If he is an adult then a group home may not be a bad idea and it certinly doesn't mean that you love him any less. Its obvious that you love your son but you can't do it alone. Have you looked for parent support group for children with disabilities. (The reason I ask these questions is because I take referrals for children with disabilities and know some of the resources in my area and most states have similar help)

  Try calling Kid Link 1-877-866-5522 (its primarily for a few counties in FL but they should know of something in your area that is similiar)

  My email is [email protected] you are welcome to send me an email and I will help with resources as much as possible.

  As far as you "man" is concerned it doesn't sound like he is being very supportive. I wuold ask him to take some responsibility. Tell him that he may not be "cheating" but he is definately "shirking" his responsibilities.

  Just remember this too shall pass and things will get better, it will just take time in the meantime email me if you want to. And know that there are ones who care.
• 

  termite 35

  ((((((((((((((shera))))))))))))

  you're not having a good time , are you sweetie?

  i'm so sorry you're having to cope with your son basically on your own and have all the additional problems of your other half too.I wish I could help- my email is [email protected]- why not write now?

  Have you got a national Autistic association over there that could help you out with advice and support?

  I'm so sorry- I have to go to the dentist now- i'll be back in 2 hours or so

  i'm sending you loads of love and will check up on you later, keep smiling

  termite xxxxxxxxxx
• 

  Gopher

  ((( Shera )))

  You're stressed? Who wouldn't be, with all that's facing you? You've got a lot of seperate problems that need to be faced one at a time.

  The one about your son -- I never knew! That is so heartrending. But sometimes love means making a hard choice, but it sounds like your choice regarding him is already made. He needs help beyond what you're able to do.

  Once you get him in the proper care facility and that situation settles down, then you'll be more ready to address your health and relationship situations. Take care of yourself, Shera! We do care.
• 

  shera

  Thankyou to all of you,

  Spice,my son is 8.He has his own I.P.P in school,but it doesnt teach him the things that are very important,to everyday life.I am from Canada ,nova Scotia.not much here for him and many other familes.I have called to the other side of canada to try to get help,but they have told me its just for local famlies.they may send me some reading material..but that isn't enough.He needs a real pro,who knows what they are doing.

  thanks again spice
• 

  nilfun

  I read your post Shera, and I see a loving Mom who just wants the best for her son.

  I see a woman who feels very, very alone; who has asked for help and support, but has not received it yet.

  The system doesn't sound very parent-friendly (some of the suggestions by other posters sound good).

  I'm sorry that your husbad isn't there for you. And I'm so sorry you are dealing with this pretty much on your own. You know, behind all these computer screens, there are many people here who care...who ((((hug)))) you the only way they can ...who weep with you when you are in pain.

  ((((Shera))))

  Sending healing thoughts your way....
• 

  cruzanheart

  (((((shera))))) I am so sorry for what you're going through, shera, and I know you feel like you're drowning in all these problems. I don't know your husband, but is it possible that he is feeling as stressed as you about the situation and doesn't know how to deal with it so he withdraws? Some people are like that. I hope you two will be able to talk things out, because then both of you would have support. As for your son, I can only imagine the pain you are feeling. I hope you can find some help for his situation.

  Lots of love and hugs,

  Nina
• 

  SpiceItUp

  I'm sure you have looked but in case you missed one or two. Maybe these can help:
  

  http://www.hunnybee.com.au/autism/canada.html

  Nova Scotia Society for Autistic Children
  P.O.Box 392 Sydney NS B1P-6H2 CANADA
  Ph: (902) 794-3789

  NOVA SCOTIA

  Autism Society of Nova Scotia
  http://www.cbnet.ns.ca/cbnet/health/autism.html

  Autism/PDD Society of Mainland Nova Scotia
  We operate as a support group for families and individuals
  whose lives are affected in some way by the Autism/PDD spectrum.
  http://www.cnet.windsor.ns.ca/Health/Autism/index.html

  Learning Disabilities Association of Nova Scotia
  1800 Argyle Street, Suite 517, Halifax, Nova
  Scotia B3J 3N8,
  Telephone: (902) 423-2834
  Fax: (902) 423-2834
  URL: http://www.nsnet.org/ldans/

  Safe Structured Environment for Sensory Experiences Society SSENSE
  http://www.nsnet.org/ssenses/
  A transitional recreational program available to children with ASD from ages 3-12 years.

  Valley Autism Support Team (VAST)
  Town Hall, upstairs, 131 Commercial St, Middleton
  Ph: (604) 434-0880
  Toll Free (Canada): 1-888-437-0880
  Fax: (604) 434-0801
  E-mail: [email protected]
  URL: http://www.nsnet.org/vast/

  Canadian Health Network - Autism
  http://www.calgaryhealthregion.ca/hlthconn/items/autism.htm

  Federation of Invisible Disabilities
  http://www.fids.bc.ca/

  Finding Help - Canadian Resources
  http://www.ldonline.org/finding_help/canada.html

  Learning Disabilities Association of Canada (LDAC)
  http://www.ldac-taac.ca

  -----------------------------------------------------------

  autism treatment services of canada

  ------------------------------------------------------------

  http://www.autismsocietycanada.ca/en/

  Support group meetings for the Autism Society Nova Scotia are generally held on the third Tuesday of each month at 7:30 p.m.
  
  Meetings are held in the Parker Reception Room on the main floor of the IWK Grace Health Centre in Halifax or at the Autism Centre, B2 level of Maritime Mall, Halifax. On occasion there are changes to this schedule. You may wish to phone (902) 429-5529 to confirm.
  Don't Miss
  Fundraising Benefit For
  Autism Summer Camp
  Associated with Autism Society Nova Scotia
  Thursday, April 10. 2003
  Copper Penny
  271 Lacewood Drive
  Clayton Park.

  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.omniseek.com/srch/{26936} Nova Scotia - Mainland Nova Scotia Autism/PDD Society No Description available (cnet.windsor.ns.ca/~deboer/Autism/index.html) Nova Scotia - Valley Autism Support Team No Description available (http://www.nsnet.org/vast/) Nova Scotia Society for Treatment of Autism Nova Scotia and Cape Breton. (http://www.cbnet.ns.ca/cbnet/health/autism.html) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://cnet.windsor.ns.ca/Health/Autism/findhelp.html Autism/PDD Society of Mainland Nova Scotia Information and support for families Phone: (902) 429-5529 Valley Autism Support Team (VAST) (Annapolis Valley) Information and support for families Phone: (902) 532-4246 Autism Society of Nova Scotia (Cape Breton Area) Information and support for families Phone: (902) 567-6441 Truro Area Autism/PDD Support Group Information and support for families Phone: (902) 895-0200 South Shore Autism/PDD Family Support Group (Lunenburg County) Information and support for families Phone: (902) 543-9219 or (902) 644-3275 Northern Nova Scotia Parents of Autistic Children Information and support for families Phone: (902) 396-3884 Strait Regional Autism Society (Antigonish Area) Information and support for families Phone: (902) 863-5213 Amherst Area Support Group, Cumberland Early Intervention Information and support for families Phone: (902) 667-8244 Nova Scotia Department of Community Services In-Home Support Services: Phone (902) 424-5863 Early Intervention: Phone (902) 424-8788 Nova Scotia Department of Health Assessment and treatment of communication in preschoolers and adults. Parents can refer directly to their local clinic. Nova Scotia Hearing and Speech Clinic Assessment and reatment of communication in preschoolers and adults. Parents can refer directly to their local clinic. Nova Scotia Department of Education and Culture Contact the principal of your local school for information about education resources and support services. IWK Grace Health Centre (for the Maritimes) For information, contact the Coordinator, Services for Children with Autism and Related Disorders: Phone (902) 428-8536 (((((Shera)))))) Hang in there.

  (Sheesh can't get this thing to format correctly )
• 

  Sadie5

  I'm so sorry to hear what your are going through. I have a mentally retarded brother, and may parents encountered some of the problems you are facing from the gov.(very little help if you are the parents, but more help if someone else cares for him)

  He was in various places and was very unhappy. He kept saying he just wanted to go home. Finally one of the social workers suggested that my parents become a part of their system and my brother could live with them and they would get the help too. So that what they did, they became licensed care providers and took care of their son. Of course there was visits by a several people, making sure they were running things by the book. My Dad got so he enjoyed talking to the different ones. They did take a few others in from time to time temporairily too.

  I don't know if this will help you but you might look into it. Hope things get better for you.

  Sadie
• 

  shera

  Thanks for the links.Spice,I have called many of these places and I always felt like they sent me in loops. There is some other ones there I haven't called yet and I will try them to see if they can offer any help fo rmy boy.